Ok, So as I mentioned in my introduction, there is a lot of recent tension between BM and myself. DSD comes to our house and tells us she doesn't want to go back to her mom's house, and that she is having such a good time here. She tells us that mom just lays around and they don't do anything together, that she has to get herself up and ready for school (and has been saying this since kindergarten, age 5). DSD is dirty when we pick her up, and ALWAYS smells like smoke. BM will txt for my husband to pick DSD up, when her (BM's) boyfriend (of 3 years...on and off) dumps here and she is an emotional wreck. She stated that she didn't have much money, so I suggested that a fast food resturaunt was hiring. She flew off the handle and I am no longer allowed (per BM) set food on the apartment complex property, let alone pick DSD up, this makes it hard as we live 1.5 hrs away and my hubs works 2nd shift m-f. SO I could pick her up friday after work, but her mom will not allow it. Now the DSD is going to BM and saying that I am saying things that I have not said to my recolection, and if I had, it was only as an example, as I am a responsible/functional ADULT and I don't call people names, or pick on people for things that they can not change. SO anyway. How do I handle this, and is there someone or someplace I can go to talk to someone about how I'm feeling and what I should do? I expressed that my husband and I should get an attorney and have everything set up via the courts so BM can't with hold DSD from him. Please HELP!!