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I am really frustrated right now

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:42 AM
  • 15 Replies
I'm trying to pack all my stuff cuz my fiancée and my daughter and I r moving to Kansas by feb 15 and its like I have to do all the packing and organizing and moving. It's like whenever my fiancée is home he is asleep which I can understand since he works 8pm to 8am every day mostly. But I can't do much wen he is asleep and also I have a 2 year old to watch so its like I pretty much can't do much of anything with packing cuz I need to keep my daughter and I quiet and I still need to go through the garage and its like I'm getting so frustrated that I'm getting a headache from all the thinking. Idk wat to do!!!
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:42 AM
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:55 AM

Look to outside people to help you.  Friends, family, neighbors  anyone.  Heck offer to pay a teenager to help in at least watching child or help packing up belongings.  Your guy can wear ear plugs if the noise bothers him or he can get his butt out of bed and knock out a few boxes himself before laying down.

mommy404204
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I work night shift as well acutally at work right now just on a break. I do not expect complete silence in my house when I am asleep just not alot of screaming. Ur husband needs to understand that children make noise and also that you are stressed and need help packing because it is not just you that is moving it is a family and that is alot of work. I would talk to him about your problems one of the best ways to have a good relationship is communication. Also maybe there is some way he can maybe keep a radio or something on when he goes to sleep to drown out the sound of you and your daughter. Good luck try to stay calm. Stressing out will not do any one any good.

LeetjieJ
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:19 AM
Perhaps ask DF if he can help you for a couple of hours each night when the baby is in bed. Could baby go to a ran, aunt or friend for a morning or afternoon to allow you to get stuck in?
Packing is a huge job, but once the back of it is broken it goes quite smoothly.
Good luck.
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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:48 AM

I can see why you are frustrated! Can you ask your husband to work an hour a day on moving stuff? Chances are good he can be a big help once he gets started. And then while your daughter naps hopefully you can get a lot done. Throw out or give away anything you haven't used in a year,moving is a great opportunity to pare down your stuff! The more stuff you have the more difficult life gets.  Put heavy things in smaller boxes, printer paper boxes are great, they have lids too. Label boxes by room. Leave your clothes on the hangers and move those in large plastic trash bags. Ask for help mama! Good luck!

notjstasocermom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:06 AM

why do you have to be quiet? DOn't you have a door on the bedroom?

edieda
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:37 AM

Hire a friend , a family or a teen age boy or girl who needs some extra cash and let them help you with the packing, or if you insist on doing the packing, have them watch the baby while you pack .doing somethings that will keep the child busy while you are packing. Let your fiancee' know that you have hired someone to help out and he will have the responsibility on paying them. Maybe this might spur him to help out when he isn't working. 

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:52 AM

That is definitely a tough job. I should know. I  have moved several times. Twice across country. Plus I have moved with several kids in tow. When they were your daughter's age too.  I would suggest you asking your DF to help for 1 hour when he gets home. Unless he helps you or you find someone to help you, this will take much longer. When you pack, pack all non-essential items. Only keep the absolute neccessary. Pack one room at a time. Have a box that is large enough to sit your daughter in comfortable and use that as a crawl space for her to play with and keep occupied while you pack around her. You might want to make a maze for her to walk around in. As long as you can keep on packing even if it is a little bit at a time, you will gain some ground.  Just stay as calm as you can and just keep plugging away. Eventually, you will get everything done.  

Good Luck.   :)  

LoreleiSieja
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:58 AM

Welcome to real life...

I don't mean to sound trite, but my husband and I have moved about 23 times now in our 32 years of marriage, and he has YET to help.  And once we moved, it's all my job to UNPACK.  I don't know if it's because he doesn't know how, or can't make himself help... but it's very frustrating.  On the DAY of moving, he's a trooper.  He lifts and carries and packs the truck or moving van, but the days leading up to the move - it's like he doesn't realize it's a lot of work, or he just refuses to acknowledge that I need his help.

I "got even" on the last move, though.  I called a moving company.  I knew we couldn't afford to have them do everything, but I was able to scrounge up $600.  I asked them how much they could do for that amount.  I bought boxes from them (it's impossible to move with grocery store recycled boxes!) and tape, and packing paper for the breakables, and my girls helped me, and a girlfriend helped me.  We packed everything in boxes, and the moving company came, loaded the boxes, and unloaded them at the new house.  I was lucky that this last move was only 18 miles away, not several states.  I was worried my DH would be angry about the money, and was prepared for an argument, but he was just relieved.  It was the easiest move ever.

That doesn't help you, though.

I would suggest you have a "packing day" party.  Get all your boxes together, and supplies.  Invite a couple - a man and a woman - to come to your party to help.  Make it a day your fiancee is home from work.  When he sees another guy helping, he'll feel obligated to help, too.  And your friends may enjoy spending the day with you before you move.  Have pizza delivered, so no one has to stop working to cook.  Have sodas, not beer, so the guys don't get sloppy.  Have a relative babysit, or take your little one to a drop in day care.  You'll be surprised how much you can get done when everyone is working!  

The packing day needs to be fairly close to moving day - maybe one or two days before - because a lot of your stuff you're going to need again.  The night before packing day, pack a suitcase for everyone in your family.  Pack changes of clothes, and all the toiletries you'll be needing - so your helpers don't have to constantly ask "should I pack this?  Can I pack that?"  You can tell them - pack everything you see. when it comes to the kitchen, pack all the dishes, pots, pans, etc.  You can eat TV dinners or take out on paper plates for the last few days.  You'll be too tired to cook anyway.

Good luck!  Hang in there...

http://raisingcreativechildren.com/nail-biting/


molacio
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:12 AM



Quoting frndlyfn:

Look to outside people to help you.  Friends, family, neighbors  anyone.  Heck offer to pay a teenager to help in at least watching child or help packing up belongings.  Your guy can wear ear plugs if the noise bothers him or he can get his butt out of bed and knock out a few boxes himself before laying down.

I agree with this but also remember not to beat him up too much when it comes to helping out with the move. It sounds like he does work hard to provide for his family. 

Kimbunny
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I'm sorry that you have to pack by yourself.  I've been there many times myself.  It's important to remember that you are only one person and you can only do so much in your day.  It is soooo hard to try to pack and keep quiet and take care of a toddler.  Just get done what you can and don't be too hard on yourself if you think that it's not getting done fast enough.  And when your fiancee has a day off, you need to let him know that you are overwhelmed and that he needs to help you pack up the house and get ready for the move.  I know that my husband sometimes forget that I am NOT wonderwoman and I can't do everything all myself.  Usually if I let him know that I'm overwhelmed, he is more than happy to help out.  I hope this helped....

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