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Potty Training Troubles

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:39 AM
  • 8 Replies

I am trying to potty train my 3 year old son, I have been trying to train him for the last 6 months, He was doing really good at first but now for the last 2 months he has been refusing to use the potty. I have tried using different methods and rewards to encourage him to use th potty. I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. I am expecting another child in 7 months so I want to be able to be back with my son using the potty again. Please no Bashing> Thanks :) 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:39 AM
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:48 AM

Has anything changed in the last few months to cause the regression?  Regression can be natural for a child when a big change is coming up as well.  Was he using the adult toilet or a potty chair?

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:57 AM

Instead of the potty chair, can he use the adult toilet ? Maybe this will make him feel more like a big boy. He could be thinking in his own way that the potty chair is too babyish for him and that could be the reason why he does not want to use it.  Try the adult toilet and see if he is more acceptable to that and then go from there. 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:07 AM
2 moms liked this

If he was using the potty, and not having accidents, and is regressing now, then it isn't a matter of "potty training" but of behavior.  If he KNOWS to use the potty, but refuses... that's a different problem than if you were potty training and he had a lot of accidents but some successes but now is having only accidents.  

If it's the first - he KNOWS - and this is a behavior, what you do is set up a potty schedule.  When it is time to go potty, you take him by the hand, and put him on the potty, no matter what.  He may kick or scream or balk, but you remain calm, firm, gentle, and in charge.  You do not scold, or yell, or punish, OR REWARD.  This is just what needs to be done now at this time. He will learn that you mean business, and after a few days, will acquiess.  You can use this same technique for any behavior problem, like picking up toys, or washing hands before a meal.  

If it's the second - he is still in the potty training stage, but having more accidents - you can put the potty chair away for a month or two, and start again later.  Potty training should only take a few days, when a child is ready to learn. If it is taking months, the child really isn't ready, and nothing you do can force the issue.

A child is ready to be toilet trained when:

1) he can pull up his own pants, pull them down by himself.  You should not have to "go" with him every time he needs to use the potty to help him with his clothes.

2) he wakes up dry from naps and in the morning.  If he is still waking up wet, then he will continue to wet the bed once he's in underwear.  Wait - he does not have the muscle control to hold back his body fuctions.

3) he has the verbal skills to tell you "I have to go potty."  "I have to go poo." - or whatever words you want him to use.  You shouldn't have to guess by his actions that he needs to go.  

For many children, they are ready for toilet training at around 2 1/2 - 3 years of age.  Very few are ready before then. Some - especially boys- are not ready until 3 1/2.  By age four, all children should be successfully toilet-trained, if they do not have a physical or emotional condition that interfers with the process.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:15 AM

What are some of the methods you have already used? Chances are, you have hit on the solution and not even noticed. Also, frndyln asked a very good question, Has  something happened lately that can be classified as stressful in any way?  Like, you telling your son that he is about to have a sibling?  That will cause a child to wonder about things. Even in their own way and most of the time what we would call normal is not normal to a child. You should try crawling around on their level for about 30 minutes. It truly is an eye opener. :)   Seeing the world from their vantage point may give you some insight as to what may be causing him to not want to use the potty anymore.  


 children just need to feel like their not the only one, that is their age, to be in the same place as they are.  Once it clicks in their mind, they are not the same and usually will not go back.  The same thing happened with our last child. She potty trained and then she told me she would not use the potty any  more that she will use diapers again. lol  It was a little frustrating at first. But you know what helped it click for her again? Our next door neighbor's little girl.  My daughter over heard myself and the little girl's mommy talking about this very issue and my girl over heard that the neighbor little girl used the potty and refused to wear diapers anymore.  That is what changed her mind back. As soon as she heard that conversation, she decided then and there that she was done with diapers and would use the potty chair. And so she did. I never had to buy another diaper. From that moment on, she used the potty, again.  

So, Good Luck sweety, from someone who's been there - done that.  :)  

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:49 AM

I am wondering if you have started to get things for the new baby lately....Maybe you have bought some diapers and now your son wants to use them too?  I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old.  My 2 yr old is always having to have what my youngest has.  He had stopped using a binky, but I catch him sometimes with my youngest's binky in his mouth.  Same with bottles and sippy cups.  I'm just noticing that it's like my 2 yr old thinks she gets special things that he doesn't get.  But he is slowly learning that he gets things she doesn't get as well.  And I think that is going to help, so maybe if you can point out to him that he "gets" to use the toilet because he is not a baby anymore, and point out things like toys that the baby won't be able to have because the baby is not big enough like he is....this is what I'm trying might help you too :)  Good luck!!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:44 PM


by AnnaLisa on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:03 PM

 have you ever put cheerios in the toilet, and let him try to sink them?  my sis did that with her kid, and he had so much fun going

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:52 PM

It sounds like the normal cyclical learning: they try something, do pretty well at it, drop it and have no interest at all while their brains sort and integrate the learning, then suddenly out of nowhere, weeks or months later, they can do it without thinking about it.

It's ordinary for this to happen in walking, speaking, learning to read... and potty training.

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