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Learning how to parent

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:35 PM
  • 17 Replies
I don't want to be like my parents. . . But I've always heard that you parent the way you were patented. So how do you learn to parent if not from your own? Sure you can read, but where do you start and how do you know what to believe? Can anyone make any recommendations of books you found helpful?
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:35 PM
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dedicatedrider
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:39 PM
I started out parenting like my parents but I'm pretty much the total opposite now. Parenting the way I was raised just didn't sit right with me, I slowly moved to following my gut, doing my own research, and making my own decisions.
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:43 PM
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I took a parenting class as well as child development classes in school of my own free will.  I also learned from other families when i babysat for them since i was the enforcer of their family rules when i watched the child or adult (disabled adults). With dd I have been floundering on a few things since i second guess myself alot.

Rae706
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:43 PM
Any authors you can think of, that you liked? Any books specifically on spanking or other forms of discipline?


Quoting dedicatedrider:

I started out parenting like my parents but I'm pretty much the total opposite now. Parenting the way I was raised just didn't sit right with me, I slowly moved to following my gut, doing my own research, and making my own decisions.

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dedicatedrider
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:47 PM
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I'd recommend "The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two" By William Sears, Martha Sear, Robert Sears, and James Sears.  Discipline specific I'd recommend "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan.

Quoting Rae706:

Any authors you can think of, that you liked? Any books specifically on spanking or other forms of discipline?


Quoting dedicatedrider:

I started out parenting like my parents but I'm pretty much the total opposite now. Parenting the way I was raised just didn't sit right with me, I slowly moved to following my gut, doing my own research, and making my own decisions.



           

Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:59 PM
I hope I don't parent like my parents... I was abused and molested. I often have nightmares about doing the same things to my kids. I wake up screaming, crying, and hitting and yelling at myself to stop. My husband has to wake up and hold me until I calm down.
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coala
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:10 PM

I don't do a lot like my parent did, but I have some traits that are so ingrained.  I want to get rid of them, but it really is hard.

momamanda
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I think, with parenting, you aren't really giving instuctions. If you had a good childhood then your parents are usually your first role models. You take the good stuff you learned from them and the stuff you didn't like you change. Being connected to other moms and exchanging stories and ideas are a great way to learn also.

TexanMomOf6
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:25 PM
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My mom uses anger to control people. I used to. Then I saw myself from others eyes. Now I am so laid back that I rarely engage in arguments. If I do argue, I use Roberts' Rules of Order and make sure I find the info to back up my statements. If I am wrong, I admit it. If I am right I hand them the proof and I shut up.

I watched how other people interact with their kids.  I took parenting, child development and anger management classes. There are free classes in my town. Sometimes the school district offers cheap community education classes.

Parents lead by example. If you scream and cuss so will they. If you react calmly and logically they will too. (Eventually)

I liked "Shortcut to Therapy", I don't know the author.

JTE11
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:38 PM
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Honestly, the Happiest Baby on the Block and especially the Happiest Toddler on the Block were greatly helpful to me. I had good parents who I think did well but my DD doesn't respond to the methods I'm used to so I had to do some research and found those books.

Bleacheddecay
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:03 PM
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I read every article and book on parenting I could get my hands on. The KEY, IMO is discarding anything that doesn't "make sense" to you and using the stuff that does.

I liked

Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach

and

Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care by Dr. Spock.

Later I liked

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlis

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