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Kids asking if and calling my son Gay...is this a form of bullying?

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:17 AM
  • 32 Replies

My son is 12 yrs old. He has never been interested in too much sports. He enjoys swimming, did golf in the past and loved it but he is more interested in music, art and anything creative.  He acts a lot more mature than I have seen boys his age acting. He doesn't tease people or like anything that makes someone feel bad. I know its easy to say so many good things about your kid but he really is and tries to be "the good guy". I get compliments from other parents and adults on how well mannered he is. Because of these things other kids say that he is gay or they ask him if he is. We have raised our children to always respect others lifestyle. My son understands that being gay isn't a bad thing and we have always been very open with him about questions and the fact that we too respect peoples lifestyle choices. However my son does not like that kids are saying this, asking it and assuming it. He feels judged just because he isn't into certain things and just because he is being himself he is being labeled something that I don't even think he would begin to know if he is or isn't right now. He knows that no matter what he would choose in life that he would be loved unconditionally and supported so it isn't a fear or a worry of what he may or may not be, its more of what he is dealing with because of ignorance. I just don't know what step to take next. Do I press an issue with the school? He feels that he needs to start being something different because of these assumptions.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:22 AM

I think unless people are taking his belongings or really disturbing him all he has to say is no i am not gay and/or ignore the people who are acting this way towards him.  He should be proud of who he is.  There are many straight guys who are musicians or artsy.

fullofhope1
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:35 AM
I don't know about bullying unless it really bothers him and they know that. On the other hand other kids his age should be nice and respectful and shouldn't say anything.
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AM-BRAT
by Amber on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:41 AM
Ya hopefully he can jist learn to walk away. :(


Quoting frndlyfn:

I think unless people are taking his belongings or really disturbing him all he has to say is no i am not gay and/or ignore the people who are acting this way towards him.  He should be proud of who he is.  There are many straight guys who are musicians or artsy.


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Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:01 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes. It's a form of bullying. Kids have committed suicide over things like this. Does he get any counseling to help him? Have you considered moving him to another school? Or have you thought about homeschooling him?

Beauty91805
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:03 AM
1 mom liked this
It is bullying if they are teasing him and not just asking him if he is.
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grownsexy
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Its more harassment then bullying.

PISCIS29
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:33 AM
4 moms liked this
Def a form of bullying.
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Marimaru
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's bothering him to a point where he feels like he needs to be something other than himself, then yes, I would take it to the school.  Besides, I'm quite sure it's not like kid A says "Are you gay?" and your son answers and kid A never asks him that again.

luv2bnthesun
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:48 PM

I think it initially started with one kid starting a rumor or making comments. A girl asked my son last week what girl he had a crush on and he said "no one". This week she asked him if he was gay when he was doing an art project and coordinating colors. He told her "no" and she responded with telling him that most the kids in their PE class thinks he is. I think thats the part that is bothering him the most. Is that he has been labeled.


Quoting Marimaru:

If it's bothering him to a point where he feels like he needs to be something other than himself, then yes, I would take it to the school.  Besides, I'm quite sure it's not like kid A says "Are you gay?" and your son answers and kid A never asks him that again.



SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:42 PM

My response would be...."you are the one who seems to know a lot about being gay.....

Put emphasis on the words "you" and "know". That phrase worked wonders for a friend's son. He is no longer asked or is assumed to be gay.

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