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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Need help on how to deal with offensive people at my kids school.

 I am a lesbian and have been with my partner since we were both 15. We have been together for ten years and have 6 kids. My son is 6 and in the first grade. His homework assignment was to bring in a poster with pictures of his family members and to label who they were for family night. He worked so hard on his poster and was excited to take it to school.

When we got to school the teacher asked all the kids to hang their posters up so everyone could see. Another parent commented that my son shouldn't receive full credit for his poster because it has 2 mothers on it instead of a mom and dad. She then told her son not to sit by or play with my son because he carries the gay disease on his clothes. But then she didn't understand why this was rude to say in front of my son or in front of me. Do you find this rude? How would you react if someone said this to you or your child?

Let me just say that I am used to being judged for being who I am and being gay. But I never expected my 6 year old would have to deal with it at school.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Oh wow, no filter moms... Gotta love 'em!

I belief you explain your child that some people are intolerant of people and families not exactly like them. They wouldn't accept tattoos or a biracial family, either. I'd explain that he had no " cooties" and his family is perfect because your family is accepting of ALL types of families and that you will talk to the teacher about this unacceptable behavior from a parent teaching their child judgement of others.
My son's first painting of his family was me his nana, and our pets! So because the two parental figures in the painting were both women, should he have be ostracized .
Tbh, I'm impressed you didn't punch her, so good going there!
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ZakkarysMom
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
That is so rude. I hope my son doesnt have to deal with that. He is 8. I dont have custody because I chose to adopt him out. He has 2 moms. And Im ok with that. As long as children grow up in a loving home it doesnt matter if the parents are gay or straight.
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hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:42 PM
This would be discussed in their guidance time, but yes, email guidance counselor and explain what happened and can she fit this into her guidance time with all the classes.... This would be part of acceptance and anti bullying they are so heavy on.

Quoting snowangel1979:

IDK that's a hard one. How rude of her. Unfortunately all you can do is probably talk to your son about it, he's going to have to deal with rude comments from stupid people.
Maybe talk to the teacher and she can have a talk with the class about the different kinds of families. Or have her talk to the mother.

I'm not saying to do this but the first thing that crossed my mind is to go up to her and touch her.
Ask her to please respect your adult decision and not bring your sons into it. Then touch her and laugh telling her Ohh I'm sorry I touched you - whispering "I hope I didn't give you the gay." LOL.
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woodswalker
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:45 PM
2 moms liked this

I would have told the woman that gay isnt a disease any more than ignorance is.

Marimaru
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:02 PM

"The gay disease" are you f***ing kidding me?  Being rude is one thing, but teaching one's kid ignorance of this level is just amazing.

I don't even know what I would do in this situation, because I don't know who's job it is to put that parent in their place.  At the very least maybe the teacher could pull them aside and ask them to keep their comments on other students' families to themselves.  And what a shitty thing to say, that your son shouldn't get full credit.  Would she say the same thing to someone who only had one parent?  

Ugh.  *hugs* to you.

Judesmom333
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:05 PM
yes how do two lesbians have a 6 yr old? did they adopt??


Quoting hollydaze1974:

Did you actually ask that? O_o



Quoting Judesmom333:

how do you have a 6 yr old if you and your partner have been together 10 yrs.?

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prp2014
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 

We have 6 kids. 4 of them my wife gave birth to and the other 2 are our nephews who we have had custody of since they were infants.

Quoting Judesmom333:

yes how do two lesbians have a 6 yr old? did they adopt??


Quoting hollydaze1974:

Did you actually ask that? O_o



Quoting Judesmom333:

how do you have a 6 yr old if you and your partner have been together 10 yrs.?


 

Shari55
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Now that I got that out of my system

Families come in many different ways, the woman was just showing her inability to accept differences of our world. It is unfortunate that your son had to deal with this issue, yet he will probably have to for years to come because of our societies ignorance. As a teacher, the classroom teacher should have dealt with the issue by saying that "we don't allow that kind of bullying in our classroom" by anyone. 

If the classroom teacher was not aware of the issue, then I would have gone and spoken with her, to prepare her for the bullying that might happen.

Quoting strictmomhere:

I would of told that bitch mom off that was very rude



Shari, Daughter of Christ, teacher of our little ones whom we are entrusted with.

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:53 PM

Yes. It is rude and wrong to say and do those things. I'd have to say something about it to the people talking that way.

I'd also have to talk to my kids about it.

mamavalor
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Extremely rude!

Talk to your son about ignorant people, then go talk to the teacher and suggest going into the classroom to talk about your family to the whole class, maybe to the whole school, if needed.

I am Chinese American and hubby is Korean American, living in a provincial small town outside of Philly.  I have no qualms about going into the classroom to talk about the Asian culture.  You may not be able to change the parent's ignorance but you certainly have a chance to mold the child's point of view.

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