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Need help on how to deal with offensive people at my kids school.

 I am a lesbian and have been with my partner since we were both 15. We have been together for ten years and have 6 kids. My son is 6 and in the first grade. His homework assignment was to bring in a poster with pictures of his family members and to label who they were for family night. He worked so hard on his poster and was excited to take it to school.

When we got to school the teacher asked all the kids to hang their posters up so everyone could see. Another parent commented that my son shouldn't receive full credit for his poster because it has 2 mothers on it instead of a mom and dad. She then told her son not to sit by or play with my son because he carries the gay disease on his clothes. But then she didn't understand why this was rude to say in front of my son or in front of me. Do you find this rude? How would you react if someone said this to you or your child?

Let me just say that I am used to being judged for being who I am and being gay. But I never expected my 6 year old would have to deal with it at school.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Replies (41-50):
Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm not sure how to deal with the parents. I would definitely posted your child and would probably contact the school to make them seats that thou will be monitoring for problems with the kids and you respect them to respond immediately and appropriately the very first time there is a kid parroting this anywhere on school grounds.

Thinking about our. .. with the parents you have a couple of options. You can be directly confrontational, but your own experiences will probably tell you that it won't help the situation, especially with kids around. Probably you will need to find a high road and show your son an elegant way to avoid confrontation and still keep his feelings of self worth intact.
Judesmom333
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:06 AM
How was I rude??? I was curious if they adopted or not. What's wrong with that?


Quoting MamaHasWings:

I quoted your reply but was speaking to not only you but everyone who asked or made rude little comments about their family arrangement. It is a public forum and you are free to ask whatever you like but does that make it right or appropriate?



Quoting Judesmom333:

This is a public forum and I am free to ask whatever I'd like. I wasn't judging anyone. I asked a harmless question and she responded.





Quoting MamaHasWings:

The thread is not about how OP and her partner have 6 kids. Quite frankly it's very presumptious and rude to ask such a thing in a thread created in a forum specifically about asking for advice/help! If OP felt it was relevant she would have mentioned it in her post, instead of having to answer a barrage of questions that basically attack her family. SMFH.



Quoting Judesmom333:

yes how do two lesbians have a 6 yr old? did they adopt??








Quoting hollydaze1974:

Did you actually ask that? O_o







Quoting Judesmom333:

how do you have a 6 yr old if you and your partner have been together 10 yrs.?













Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cerainwondrland
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:46 AM
4 moms liked this
Well I'm sorry but we do own our own home,we do have savings. But u never asked this,you just assumed because your child isn't ready for children that means no one else their age is. Are you starting to see how stupid it is to assume things about strangers? I could care less what u think about me I guess I was just trying to stick up for OP because of your comment to her.

I can admit that I still have life lessons to learn and I will continue to learn them until I die. Have you learned the life lesson that you NEVER know everything? Or are you convinced that because you are older you are done growing as a person?


Quoting atlmom2:

We waited till we owned a home and have lots of savings to have children. That is being responsible. My 21 yo has a job but couldn't afford a child.




Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why am I not grown up? Sorry but there is no way u can say that! You haven't even met me! You my dear need to do some growing up. How immature to judge complete strangers ON THE INTERNET! Wow lol thank u for proving my point, going to go do laundry now =)





Quoting atlmom2:

LOL, no teens need kids. Grow up some. Ridiculous.








Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why won't u tell me why? Or do u not have an answer because u don't know me? I'm waiting =)









Quoting atlmom2:

Yes.












Quoting cerainwondrland:

I didn't give birth to my daughter,had my son when I was 19,this new baby was planned. I'm financially stable. I'm not on any kind of PA. is it still gasp worthy?













Quoting atlmom2:

Gasp is right!
















Quoting cerainwondrland:

I have two and another due in April and I'm turning 21 April third. *Gasp*

















Quoting atlmom2:

6 kids and 25. Wow.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

The teacher can help with this a LOT, at six the kids are very impressionable and the teacher can talk about how your son has 2 moms and that's pretty awesome! How lucky is he?! Make her your ally.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM
I am not going to argue with a teen, lol. I have lived a lot longer than you.


Quoting cerainwondrland:

Well I'm sorry but we do own our own home,we do have savings. But u never asked this,you just assumed because your child isn't ready for children that means no one else their age is. Are you starting to see how stupid it is to assume things about strangers? I could care less what u think about me I guess I was just trying to stick up for OP because of your comment to her.



I can admit that I still have life lessons to learn and I will continue to learn them until I die. Have you learned the life lesson that you NEVER know everything? Or are you convinced that because you are older you are done growing as a person?




Quoting atlmom2:

We waited till we owned a home and have lots of savings to have children. That is being responsible. My 21 yo has a job but couldn't afford a child.






Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why am I not grown up? Sorry but there is no way u can say that! You haven't even met me! You my dear need to do some growing up. How immature to judge complete strangers ON THE INTERNET! Wow lol thank u for proving my point, going to go do laundry now =)







Quoting atlmom2:

LOL, no teens need kids. Grow up some. Ridiculous.










Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why won't u tell me why? Or do u not have an answer because u don't know me? I'm waiting =)











Quoting atlmom2:

Yes.














Quoting cerainwondrland:

I didn't give birth to my daughter,had my son when I was 19,this new baby was planned. I'm financially stable. I'm not on any kind of PA. is it still gasp worthy?















Quoting atlmom2:

Gasp is right!


















Quoting cerainwondrland:

I have two and another due in April and I'm turning 21 April third. *Gasp*



















Quoting atlmom2:

6 kids and 25. Wow.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cerainwondrland
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:53 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm twenty not nine TEEN or eight TEEN.

AND you had no problem arguing with me until I proved that your assumptions were completely baseless =P

Hope you learned something have a good day!

And obviously u being older than me doesn't mean anything


Quoting atlmom2:

I am not going to argue with a teen, lol. I have lived a lot longer than you.




Quoting cerainwondrland:

Well I'm sorry but we do own our own home,we do have savings. But u never asked this,you just assumed because your child isn't ready for children that means no one else their age is. Are you starting to see how stupid it is to assume things about strangers? I could care less what u think about me I guess I was just trying to stick up for OP because of your comment to her.





I can admit that I still have life lessons to learn and I will continue to learn them until I die. Have you learned the life lesson that you NEVER know everything? Or are you convinced that because you are older you are done growing as a person?






Quoting atlmom2:

We waited till we owned a home and have lots of savings to have children. That is being responsible. My 21 yo has a job but couldn't afford a child.








Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why am I not grown up? Sorry but there is no way u can say that! You haven't even met me! You my dear need to do some growing up. How immature to judge complete strangers ON THE INTERNET! Wow lol thank u for proving my point, going to go do laundry now =)









Quoting atlmom2:

LOL, no teens need kids. Grow up some. Ridiculous.












Quoting cerainwondrland:

Why won't u tell me why? Or do u not have an answer because u don't know me? I'm waiting =)













Quoting atlmom2:

Yes.
















Quoting cerainwondrland:

I didn't give birth to my daughter,had my son when I was 19,this new baby was planned. I'm financially stable. I'm not on any kind of PA. is it still gasp worthy?

















Quoting atlmom2:

Gasp is right!




















Quoting cerainwondrland:

I have two and another due in April and I'm turning 21 April third. *Gasp*





















Quoting atlmom2:

6 kids and 25. Wow.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
doulala
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:07 PM

The teacher should be made directly aware, maybe the principal, too.     They will help with tolerance, have training, and can work directly to help the other child (and then his family in turn).
You can even consider calling that mom and ask for a playdate so the children (...and parents) can have a human exchange, develop a relationship.


Most importantly, adults must model tolerance and compassion in their words and behavior.


doulala
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

So what??    lol
   That doesn't make sense.

It's what we do with our years that counts.     :-)


Quoting atlmom2:

I am not going to argue with a teen, lol. I have lived a lot longer than you.



Quoting cerainwondrland:
1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Seriously? Sounds like that bitch was raised in 1930! I would have been in her face so fast, they probably would have needed to called the cops.

AuntFib
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:25 PM

So, by the parent's comment, I guess a child of a single parent shouldn't receive full credit either???

It's very sad that adults teach their children how to "bully".  I'm sure she didn't think of it as "bullying" when she made the comments.  But I thought parents would at least try to teach their kids not to judge others.  

I really don't know how I would react in your situation, but you have every right to be angry or frustrated about it, especially because that ignorance it is being deflected onto your son.

Good luck to you and your partner.  You have quite an undertaking raising 6 kids!  Kudos!! 

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