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I thought separation anxiety but not sure. HELP!!!!!

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My daughter is getting redy to be 17 months. I stay home with her so she is use to being with me all day! Bt my hubby does care for her Lit at night while I am running my oldest to sports. If we are at home, she has to be in sight of me and most of the time wants to cling to my leg. I can't get anything done with her attached to my leg. But the weird thing is thAt I go to the gym and can leave her In the nursery and she is just fine. She blows me a kiss goodbye and she is fine. So why would she be ok with that but has to be clinched to my leg at home???

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:33 PM
Replies (41-50):
jeda1429
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Not true lol > It will change. Someday your child will be in junior high and will freak out if you do so much as hug him in front of his school> And then you will look back longingly on those days when you were the center of your chid's world. I know . My son was a clingy child too.

Quoting PortiaRose:

pls stop doing it. he wont change. he will just turn into my two yr old. when the kid grabs your hand or clings, tell her youre busy and will get to her soon. then in 30sec or so go with her. dont let her drag you around.

Quoting GoldenLinds:

My son is 19 months old and exactly the same way. I've found that I have to work with his schedule instead of trying to make him work to mine. When he's clinging I put my things down and play with him or cuddle him or whatever. Once he's interested in somehing I go back to what I was doing. It might only last for a few minutes but oh well. I know he's needing that attention and its incredibly important to me that he knows that he is important. He's just not old enough to wait a minute and since I'm all he's got I have to be who he's got all the time.


 

beauswife
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

My 18 month old does that, but she is on my hip! Mostly when she is cutting her teeth. I get frustrated when I can't get as much done, but she needs me first. I do as much as I can with one arm as possible. With four kids, I have gotten really good at that lol. Anyway, it is a phase, all of mine have done it. 

brandyblx
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:42 PM

 Bryce (my youngest,he was 1 at the time) did this after we moved out of the apartment into our house.It lasted about 3 weeks and once he got used to the house he calmed down.Have there been any big changes in her life recently?It could just be something as simple as that,kwim?

Mommyfish831
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

My opinion is that the gym is normal to her, I'm guessing its a normal routine.  So she knows this place and knows you won't be gone long.  At home she wants to be near you so she feels safe, not that home is not safe.  This is very normal for your child to do.  Please do not listen to people who say don't let her do that she'll just keep doing it.  This is not true.  You are her mother, you make her feel safe.  You are her comfort.  Telling her no you are busy is a negative reaction to her need.  If you are busy you should take a minute to pick her up and let her know you love her, take her to dad or whoever is near kiss her and tell her you will see her in a few minutes.  I do not get how people think that babies/toddlers have any idea or understanding about adult emotions or life.  By showing her that you are there for her you are installing security in her.  As she grows up she will know that you will always be there for her needs, this is a security she needs as she gets older but she will not always be clinging to you.  This will not last forever and it is important.  This does not mean that you have to do everything with her at our side.  She also needs to know that she is safe with dad or other family until you are done doing what you need or get back from doing what you need to do. You just have to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her you will be back soon, that is all.  But do not ignore her and make her feel as though her need is not important.  

abigailsmommy11
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:03 AM

My daughter did the same thing around that age. lasted about 3 months, just give it time =]

ThinkAgainMom
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:02 AM

If she does this when the two of you are home alone, as well as when DH is there, or you are leaving her with him, it is probably just attachment. 

If she is clingy when you are trying to get things done - cooking, laundry, try to give her her own 'set' of things to immitate you.  Give her a pot and spoon to 'make lunch' and talk through what you are doing on the counter and she can do on the floor, a low stool, or the table.  Give her a small laundry basket and some washcloths or baby clothes to 'do the laundry' etc.  Cleaning a mirror or a window?  Just give her a cloth and tell her you rub 'in a circle' and show her. (You can fit in a little teaching too.) She will likely be less clingy when she is helping you and copying what you are doing.  And of course, give her lots of love and cuddles and enjoy it!!!!

OctoberCutie07
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:12 AM

 My daughter was like that when she started going to daycare. We went and bought her a new stuffed animal. She picked it out and so that animal became her best friend. She still has that little bear and when she is having a bad day she goes and gets that bear and cuddles with it. And now that she is 5 she pretends that her bear is having a hard time so that she can tell it that everything will be ok.

Spitfirre
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:56 AM
My 4 yr old was like that, all the way up till he turned 4, before he turned 4 he would cry if he wasn't with a family member, he hated school, cuz no family was there, but the vary day he turned 4 he was a big boy and went to school without crying, is still a big boy.
My 23 mo old is the same way and I fear about her going to school, and I have to leave her there crying.
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vinalex0581
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:35 AM

good for you for standing up for yourself!!         clapping      way to go

don't listen to her. continue doing what you want to do.

it sounds like you are doing an excellent job!!

=)

Quoting GoldenLinds:

I absolutely won't stop. "He won't change"?? And what is so wrong with what he's doing? What is so terrible about my child wanting to share the world with me? Unfortunately you are wrong and he will change. I'm giving him what he needs right now. Let me be clear that there is nothing wrongb with his behavior. It is completely appropriate for his age. I also know how to discipline my child for things he shouldnt bev doing like biting and throwing and having a tantrum when hebis told no. But wanting me and my attention and care is not bad behavior!

Quoting PortiaRose:

pls stop doing it. he wont change. he will just turn into my two yr old. when the kid grabs your hand or clings, tell her youre busy and will get to her soon. then in 30sec or so go with her. dont let her drag you around.



Quoting GoldenLinds:

My son is 19 months old and exactly the same way. I've found that I have to work with his schedule instead of trying to make him work to mine. When he's clinging I put my things down and play with him or cuddle him or whatever. Once he's interested in somehing I go back to what I was doing. It might only last for a few minutes but oh well. I know he's needing that attention and its incredibly important to me that he knows that he is important. He's just not old enough to wait a minute and since I'm all he's got I have to be who he's got all the time.


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vinalex0581
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:42 AM

if it was separation anxiety then her daughter wouldn't act the way she does when she leaves her in the nursery to go work out.

she would be crying for her to come back.  she wouldn't be waving good bye to her.

Quoting JTE11:

it could be some separation anxiety. My DD started going through some of the same stuff at about 18 months. She just turned two and still has days here and there where she wants to live in my lap. They are getting older at this stage and are realizing more and more that they are separate people from us and it may be that she just needs to stock up on some 'cling time' when she's at home. DD goes to daycare a couple of hours per week just so she can see other kids and she never ever gets clingy there because she wants to go play. Then when I pick her up and come home she wants to nurse and sit on my lap for a long time.  The period from 18-24 months is also a time for developmental spurts, especially in speech, so sometimes they get more moody, sleep gets disturbed, and you see bouts of separation anxiety. It doesn't last forever, though!


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