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I thought separation anxiety but not sure. HELP!!!!!

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My daughter is getting redy to be 17 months. I stay home with her so she is use to being with me all day! Bt my hubby does care for her Lit at night while I am running my oldest to sports. If we are at home, she has to be in sight of me and most of the time wants to cling to my leg. I can't get anything done with her attached to my leg. But the weird thing is thAt I go to the gym and can leave her In the nursery and she is just fine. She blows me a kiss goodbye and she is fine. So why would she be ok with that but has to be clinched to my leg at home???

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:33 PM
Replies (51-58):
pumpkin77
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:10 AM

I have been a nursery school teacher for over 14 years and deal with seperation issues on a daily basis.  While I cannot see all the aspects of this problem, I can point out some of the possible reasons for different behavior.

At home you are still in sight, that is a incomplete seperation and is difficult.  At the gym you are completely gone ( in her eyes- even when you are still in the same building).  The other difference is that at the gym there are other distractions (children and new toys) that may help her focus less on the seperation.

Kermitthemom23
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:14 AM
My last one was like that. She is 2 now and much more independant. But it sucked!!!

Keep doing what tou are doing, keep giving her opportunities to be independant. She will be fine
Some of the ither suggestions on letting her help you get things done are good to.
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vinalex0581
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this

i agree with you 100%

Quoting Mommyfish831:

My opinion is that the gym is normal to her, I'm guessing its a normal routine.  So she knows this place and knows you won't be gone long.  At home she wants to be near you so she feels safe, not that home is not safe.  This is very normal for your child to do.  Please do not listen to people who say don't let her do that she'll just keep doing it.  This is not true.  You are her mother, you make her feel safe.  You are her comfort.  Telling her no you are busy is a negative reaction to her need.  If you are busy you should take a minute to pick her up and let her know you love her, take her to dad or whoever is near kiss her and tell her you will see her in a few minutes.  I do not get how people think that babies/toddlers have any idea or understanding about adult emotions or life.  By showing her that you are there for her you are installing security in her.  As she grows up she will know that you will always be there for her needs, this is a security she needs as she gets older but she will not always be clinging to you.  This will not last forever and it is important.  This does not mean that you have to do everything with her at our side.  She also needs to know that she is safe with dad or other family until you are done doing what you need or get back from doing what you need to do. You just have to give her a hug and a kiss and tell her you will be back soon, that is all.  But do not ignore her and make her feel as though her need is not important.  


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Mom_to_Lincoln
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:09 PM

Kids go through these phases. She may stop liking to go to the gym soon also. At home it might help if you sit down and do an activity with her and then tell her you will be back and go try and get some house work done before she realizes your gone. Maybe let her play with something in the same room so she can see you the whole time your cleaning.

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:31 PM

My son at the age of 4 years old, does this occasionally. There will be a day where I can't do anything because he wants me to hold him or cuddle him. 

Since he doesn't do this often, I give in to it and hold him as long as he wants me too. Especially since most of the time, he wants nothing to do with me, but heaven help the world when he sees me walk out of his line of vision. He freaks out. He knows I'm still here, just doesn't want me to go without him. 

Except for preschool. He is fine leaving me then. He actually looks forward to leaving me to go to preschool. I love that. 


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JTE11
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:21 PM

My DD had separation anxiety at home but not when she went to daycare. I couldn't leave the room at home without her flipping out crying (and crying at bed time) but when I take her to school she has never had a problem with me leaving. If it's not separation anxiety that makes my LO run after me that way then she's never had it, ever, and that's unlikely considering she's two.

Quoting vinalex0581:

if it was separation anxiety then her daughter wouldn't act the way she does when she leaves her in the nursery to go work out.

she would be crying for her to come back.  she wouldn't be waving good bye to her.

Quoting JTE11:

it could be some separation anxiety. My DD started going through some of the same stuff at about 18 months. She just turned two and still has days here and there where she wants to live in my lap. They are getting older at this stage and are realizing more and more that they are separate people from us and it may be that she just needs to stock up on some 'cling time' when she's at home. DD goes to daycare a couple of hours per week just so she can see other kids and she never ever gets clingy there because she wants to go play. Then when I pick her up and come home she wants to nurse and sit on my lap for a long time.  The period from 18-24 months is also a time for developmental spurts, especially in speech, so sometimes they get more moody, sleep gets disturbed, and you see bouts of separation anxiety. It doesn't last forever, though!




xxshelbyxxx
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:17 PM
My son is almost 18 months an he is the exact same way, but be happy your LO at least lets you drop her off places so you get a LITTLE me time. Cuz I don't get ANY. My sons had bad seperation anxiety for months and months now and it's not getting better. When I poop he tries to sit on my lap sometimes, hell go in a stroller or grocery cart wen were out for his dad but when he can SEE me, he'll only let me carry him, no other form of transport.


Quoting saysmom:

My daughter is getting redy to be 17 months. I stay home with her so she is use to being with me all day! Bt my hubby does care for her Lit at night while I am running my oldest to sports. If we are at home, she has to be in sight of me and most of the time wants to cling to my leg. I can't get anything done with her attached to my leg. But the weird thing is thAt I go to the gym and can leave her In the nursery and she is just fine. She blows me a kiss goodbye and she is fine. So why would she be ok with that but has to be clinched to my leg at home???


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nanasprozac
by New Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:10 AM

 enjoy it while you can...when your children turn into teens your going to miss all of that and it will be a story to tell in the future...my 3 are all adults and 2 of them have kids of their own...I miss that part of their life when mommy was the most important person in the world to them...but I do have stories to share to them

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