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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Moms - Do you get social time away from the kids?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:08 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hello All, 


I'm a mom of 2: my energetic 4 yr old boy and my sweet 3 week old little girl. I had a pretty rough pregnancy this last time, so I haven't been out with friends since my 5th month of pregnancy. I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon because I'm pretty busy with my kids, but I unfortunately can't shake this restless cabin fever. I love my kiddos dearly, but I miss talking with adults! I'm really thankful I get the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mama right now, but I am craving some social interaction that doesn't involve legos or baby talk! So I'm curious, when did you all start getting some time away from the kids? How often do you get "me" time? My mother and I have differing views on what's appropriate...she doesn't think any time away from the kids is appropriate, they should go where YOU go. She feels the only time a mom should get is a 15 minute shower or maybe a trip to the grocery store. If you take time from your kids you're a selfish, immature person. I personally don't agree with this view at all; I think happy women make better mothers, and a little time away from your kids can make you appreciate your time WITH them even more. Of course  there needs to be a balance, but I feel like a guilty mom if I take time away (probably due to the Catholic guilt my mom has bestowed upon me...awesome). I'm not here to judge, but I want to know how others feel on the subject. Thanks!

Happy Vibes, 


Jess

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I had away time from my kids usually 2 x week. One night with hubby 1 night with friends. We hired a sitter and went out. I think its healthy for everyone.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:21 PM

Personally for your sake, Look into outside of the home activities that are family friendly so that you can possibly talk to other adults and the children can see peers of the community.  I only have one dd and  I tried to go to any childrens activity i heard about around town.  Libraries usually have storie times and children can be a bit more distruptive than having to sit still say in a movie theater.   I havent had a girls night in about 4 years but my guy and i go out to lunch on occasion now that dd started going to school (last year was kindergarten full day).   

SouthTxPrincess
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:24 PM
Every few months I might get to go out with a girlfriend alone, but we can't afford it very often but df and I try to go out alone a couple times a month.
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AMR320
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:32 PM
My only time without the kids is when I go grocery shopping and DH stays home with the kids. We have no money for extras and I don't really have friends either. I would love some time away!!!
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rHOPEb
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:37 PM

Congrats on your newest lil one!  You are not alone!  Your story is about like mine......my kids are 3.5yrs apart.  Daughter is 4yr and Son 6mos.  I do NOT go out unless to take daughter to ballet, go grocery store (no longer do 'fun' errands), and then church.  I never really had any 'me' time, but my mom would watch or take my daughter for a few hours for fun.  I believe that all parents need to 'recharge' their batteries every now and then!  If you can't recharge then you can't function properly.  It may be only 30min a month but its better than nothing.  Right now Lil  Chunker is attached to my boob!  hahahaha!  So, it is difficult to go and do anything without him.  But mabye after he turns a year and starts nursing a lil less frequent I can get out.  MAYBE!  :)  Oh, I don't go out with friends.  If I go out its with my mom and kids, hubby and kids, or just hubby for dinner (we did this once and had our normal sitter watch the kids for 2hrs).  Its nice to get away just for a lil bit and its NOT selfish........its NEEDED!

GracesMama2009
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:23 PM

I don't think it is selfish.  You need some you time.  Every now and then I get a day where I can get the boyfriend out of the house at the same time the kids are sleeping or at their grandparents.  Other than work and school I don't get out to often.  All of my friends moved out of state, so when we do go out (my parents adore the kids so they keep them 1 day on the weekends usually) it is with his friends.  It okay by me, but every mommy deserves some me time to just relax.  The funny part is you actually start missing your kids in the first two hours usually.  And yes it does make me appreciate my time with the kids more.  So once your kids get a little older you can have them nap at the same time, and you can use that time to take a nice bath, do your nails.  Better yet, see if your husband, boyfriend, friend, or someone can watch your kids while you have an evening to yourself or with some of your friends.  A happy mother is a good mother  

britmichele
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:37 PM
Only time I get without my son is at work. :(
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Spoiled_Blonde
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:39 PM

I get "me" time almost daily. When working at my salon if me and one of the other girls have a break we take off and go shopping or do lunch or something. You should look into activities outside the home that you can bring your kids to. Like some kind of mommy group or something, that way the older child can play and you get some adult interaction =)

mcknitro
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:46 PM

Yes, you need your YOU time.  Also you and hubby should also set a date night like once a week or at least once a month.  It is supposed to be good for marriage and YOU time is good for YOU.  Dont feel bad leaving them with a trusted sitter.  You shouldnt feel guilty, its not like you are leaving them every day to socialize.

MJP76
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM

Well, I don't typically do "social" but I love time with my hubby and I love me time.. But I. Not really a "get together with the girls" type of gal.

DH parents live 7 hours away, and my mother was never much of a mother..and a horrible grandmother as far as spending time with her grand kids... She would literally babysit for us 3 times a year for the first 10 years of our children's existence... Halloween, New Years and my birthday.. However, we had to drop the kids off right before bed, and pick them up by 7 am the next morning, so you can imagine how stressful that can being trying to go out with hubby and still maintaining a early evening so we could pick up the kids. Blah... 

On the up side john's parents are wonderful grandparents and because they lived so far away would take the kids for the summer... Every summer..... Sooo, basically Aug- June it's all about the kids...and June and July it was all about us.

now that DD is old enough to babysit.. We don't take the kids everywhere with us anymore... But before she was that's the way it was.. We either took them with us or we just didn't go. Not that we liked it like that.. That's just the way it was... We never trusted anyone else to watch our kids..

Now that my kids are older I have me time every day, and date night with hubby at least twice a month....but that's only been for the last 3 years.....

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