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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Time to get on track..could use some help..please...

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:20 AM
  • 12 Replies

I want to get my family healthy and I would like to lose some weight and so would my boyfriend.  I want my kids to be healthy and make healthy choices in food and activity.  We are on a tight budget with my boyfriend being laid off and me starting a new job, so the grocery bill has to stay at a minimum.  I am just so stressed out with school (I keep falling behind or miss my class because I was up the night before and slept through my alarm). It doesn't help that I have to get an A or B in the classes I'm taking to keep my GPA up. I am not getting enough sleep, and when I try to go to bed early I can't fall asleep because there is so much on my mind.  There is so much on my list of things I want to do it is unreal.  I want to make homemade everything, I want to workout and stick with it, I want to be able to look great for my boyfriend everyday (make up hair etc.) It is just so hard to get it all done in a days time.  I am super organized and it drives everyone insane.  Although it seems no matter how organized or how many lists I have I never have any peace of mind.  I know what I am doing wrong it is just so hard to fix it when I have so much to do everyday.  AHHH I just feel like I'm going crazy somedays.  It seems like no matter what I do there is not enough time or enough money to do it.  I need some ideas on how to get on track.  I just feel like everything is a big mess right now and it's really bringing me down. Any comments will be appreciated..

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Reina13
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:55 AM

First here is a virtual (((hug))) because you seem so stressed out. You have so much going on, but take a moment to just breathe.

I am not very good at organization, but as far as the weight loss and healthy meal choices, I think you should check out the healthy weight loss group. The women there are amazingly supportive and there are tons of posts and challenges that can help with food ideas on a budget.


beadingmom17
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Okay, first, join the Healthy Weight Loss group!

Second, do you meal plan? If not, you should start. It helps both with staying on budget and making sure that you are only keeping healthy foods in the house.

Third, if you have a Crockpot, use it! If you don't, get one! You can find decent ones for $20-30. They save so much time and you can make delicious (healthy!) meals in it like chili, soups, wonderful roasts with veggies, etc.

Fourth, create a daily routine chart for everyone in the family...along the lines of a chore chart, but helps the kids (and adults, lol) follow what needs to be done (for example: my girls each had one...my oldest's was: make bed, get dressed, brush hair, put on shoes, breakfast, brush teeth, get coat and backpack ready/on, school, hang backpack/coat up, do homework, clean up any toys, shower. It helped when school first started and now it's just total routine to the point we don't need it anymore. If the kids are older, you can add their chores.)

And if you're anything like me, you love your snooze button! I purposely have my alarm set for 20 minutes ahead of when I really have to get up so that I get the satisfaction of hitting snooze a couple times, lol! And if I'm up early, well, then, yay! Also, if you pack the kids' lunches, do it the night before!

Hope any of that helps!
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DaniandTom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:02 PM

Sweetie, you're trying to be everything and be the best of everything. That is unrealistic! Cut yourself some slack! Your boyfriend isn't going to leave if your makeup isn't perfect every day. You're damaging your health by stressing out so much you're not getting enough sleep. That's counterproductive to what you say you want! It sounds to me like you're trying to take on too much so maybe take fewer classes next semester and as far as healthy eating, that's not that hard! Get your boyfriend involved in it and if your kids are old enough, get them involved as well. Everyone can be picking out fruits and vegetables at the store, cutting them up and cleaning them at home. As long as their hands are washed well, even a young child can help make a salad! Plus, it gives you quality family time, and they learn that healthy eating isn't "giving up" stuff but a good choice for life! They can help plan meals by color--we need something green, something yellow or orange and some kind of meat. You may wind up having oranges and salad but that's ok! Or give them their choice of vegetables to pick from for dinner--do you want green beans or asparagus or broccoli? Carrots or squash? Your family will help you if you let them and you NEED to let them! And quite honestly, healthy eating is often much less expensive than eating all that processed junk. 
The same concept goes with cleaning--the kids can help put things away, sweep the floor, dust...so can your boyfriend--and so should he! They live there too so unless you want to live your life feeling like the maid, get them to help. They won't do it right at first, but that's ok! They're learning. Don't adopt the attitude that if it isn't done right, it's easier to just do it yourself. That makes them think they can't do things on their own and they need to be dependant on others for things--you want them to grow up being independant and self reliant.
Get some exercise every day--even if it's just playing with the kids or dancing to music. It will help you sleep better as will letting go of the idea you need to be supermom/girlfriend/daughter/student/housewife/etc. You don't need a gym to work out. Do it with the kids--you get quality time with them as well as teaching them the importance of physical fitness. Half an hour to an hour before bed should be your relaxation time. Put the books up and do something you ENJOY!  It will help you to wind down and not have your mind going in 6 different directions when it's time to sleep. Try herbal teas if you can. Even a glass of warm milk might help--no chocolate in it as that has caffeine and will make matters worse. No caffinated drinks of any sort at least a few hours before bed.
I hope that helps! ♥Hugs♥ 

frstldyhmsch
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:10 PM

Poor thing, you are so stressed! Make a reasonable list of goals everyday (no more than 5 per day) and stick to it...don't go beyond that list. Also meal planning is an awesome idea for meals on a budget. You only buy what's on sale and create meals for the week. As for making everything homemade, that's awesome, but put those things on the list (it's also cheaper too). Before you go to bed at night sip on a cup of tea and watch something funny. 

hugs  

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:02 PM

 ((Hugs)) You seem so stressed! My first idea is meal planning. It helps a lot. I get my healthy recipes from pinterest.

LindaClement
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:13 PM

I think that your desire to be well-organized is wonderful: it's a great goal.

But all it will do is organize things --it doesn't make peace of mind.

What makes peace of mind is self-care: good food, lots of fresh air and exercise, real connections with other people, rest, learning, overcoming challenges, learning to manage your negative thoughts so they stop driving the bus...

What will help right away is a MUCH shorter list of things to accomplish in a day ... or more people to delegate the tasks to.

GracesMama2009
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Thanks everyone for the advice. I do meal plan, but my budget for groceries is $50.00 a week (100.00 a pay check).  This includes toiletries, diapers, and wipes.  And as for exercise, I guess doing Zumba with the kids before or after dinner would be a good idea.  Who cares if we look stupid lol. I have the game on the wii.  As for chores the girls are emma is one in half and grace is three and they are pretty good about picking up there messes.  Grace is a big help around the house.  My boyfriend is pretty good about picking up his dishes, but I am so uptight about everything being in its place I think it may be hard for him to keep up.  I get there stuff all packed for daycare the night before.  I never thought of tea, I am not sure I even like it haha. The nursing program I am trying to get in is really competitve and I am taking the minimum number of credit hours I can right now.  It's just really hard classes , especially Anatomy and Physiology.  Thanks again for all of the advice :)

Pukalani79
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:14 PM

 My family made the decision to get healthy about a month ago.  We try to take a short walk as often as we can, or my DH and I work out on the eliptical after the kids go to bed.  I make all of our meals now rather than driving through somewhere.  Meal planning is important.  Buy in bulk when you can, seperate out your meals and freeze them.  Use the crockpot whenever possible.  That saves so much time!

ScoobyDonut
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:55 PM

I've been where you are today.  I'm the mother of 3 kids.  My best friend once told me "Honey, you're no good to your family until you're good to yourself"  He was right.  I too over extended myself.  I was a volunteer mom at my kids school, taught PE 3 times a week, worked out, was the President of my sorority group and while I received an award for being Woman of the Year, I also landed myself in the hospital.  I was trying so hard to be perfect.  I suffered from Anorexia Bulemia.  You need to take time for yourself.  Remember, beauty comes from within, not what's on the outside.  There is noone prettier than a mom without makeup sporting a happy smile.  Take time for yourself.  Wake up a little earlier in the morning.  Give yourself an hour of just "me time" Whether it's studying, reading or just taking a walk around the block, take that time for you.  Losing weight comes from eating sensibly.  It doesn't cost a lot of money to diet.  Just read the labels, eat smaller portions and I can't stress enough, eat sensibly.  I killed myself trying to be skinny.  Now I eat what I want but I do it sensibly.  My downful is that I have been struggling with being gluten intolerant so that's thrown a curve ball but all things are possible.  I still feel like I'm going crazy every day.  In my case I see a therapist.  But take my advice, don't sweat the small stuff.  Life is what you make it.  I think as mom's, or just women in general, we will always feel unappreciated, stressed out and there will never be enough money, but you have to take time for yourself.  Love yourself enough to do that.  You're worth it.  Your family will appreciate it when you're cool, calm and collected!  Good Luck!!

GracesMama2009
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:47 PM
Ive had issues with eating disorders in the past. I hardly eat a lot now, im just not really hungry or dont want what we are having. My boyfriend says I dont need to lose weight but id like to have my super flat belly and nice legs and arms back.
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