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I have no idea what to do with daughter...

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:52 PM
  • 24 Replies
Question for everyone out there. My step daughter is 11 years old in 6th grade. She is a bright girl. Seems to do pretty typical in social environments when her father and I are around. But I'm worried about her overall socialization. She has a few friends she talks about in school but when I ask if she wants to invite them over she finds something she doesn't like abs gives it the cold shoulder. Well my fear is this summer. She stays home alone now during the day while we are at work. She has decided not to do any sports this summer so what that means is she will get up, watch tv until her dad comes home and makes her lunch, then watch tv until we get home from work. Then she'll eat and maybe we'll play or go for a walk. Then her dad will put her to bed, with the tv on. It drives me crazy and I'm worried she's missing out on her childhood. Her dad doesn't seem to think it's a big deal and asks me to let it go, but I'm worried.. What do I do?
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:52 PM
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:55 PM

Honestly that sounds like my childhood since mom worked all the time.  The only difference is i had brothers around and we went outside at times to play with the hose.  She may enjoy that down time or as the days get closer she may gain more friends to do things with.   You can always see if there is a mentor program for summer so that she can be active.  At 11 yrs old she should be able to make her own lunch and even start dinner if everyone was busy at work.

llacourd
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:56 PM
And to make the summer situation even more off is we are having our first baby together at the end of March. So I'm worried there to that she may get more upset that 100% of our attention wont be able to go to her in the evenings as the do now and like they did last summer..
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llacourd
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:59 PM
I would love that but she'll refuse. She doesn't like being outside her comfort zone. I've tired getting her to go to grandma's, her cousins, even taking up a hobby, doing busy house work but she pretty much pushes it all off for the tv..



Quoting frndlyfn:

Honestly that sounds like my childhood since mom worked all the time.  The only difference is i had brothers around and we went outside at times to play with the hose.  She may enjoy that down time or as the days get closer she may gain more friends to do things with.   You can always see if there is a mentor program for summer so that she can be active.  At 11 yrs old she should be able to make her own lunch and even start dinner if everyone was busy at work.


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2BRBgirlz
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I may be wwwaaayy off base, but it sounds like depression to me.  I only say that because that is the age that I started showing signs of it, and she sounds like me as a kid. (I eventually just grew out of it after many years)  Is there any reason why she wouldn't want friends at the house? 


SewingMamaLele
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:10 PM

Maybe I'm off base... but isn't an 11 y/o too young to be home alone?   I'd get her in some programs.

llacourd
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:20 PM
She'll be 12 in April so she's of age. Overall she seems like a happy girl though. Usually in a good mood, enjoys our attention. We live in a small town so programs are difficult. I think one of my biggest struggles is getting her dad to recognize this as a problem and willing to work with me. But maybe it is me. Maybe it's just get age... oh I don't know
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llacourd
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:23 PM
And why she wouldn't want friends over, I could be wrong but I think it's because she'd rather watch tv then be with friends and wait for us to come home. The friends she has made in the past she had picked out flaws in and just decided she didn't want to play with any more.
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SewingMamaLele
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:26 PM


Quoting llacourd:

She'll be 12 in April so she's of age. Overall she seems like a happy girl though. Usually in a good mood, enjoys our attention. We live in a small town so programs are difficult. I think one of my biggest struggles is getting her dad to recognize this as a problem and willing to work with me. But maybe it is me. Maybe it's just get age... oh I don't know

I don't even think 12 is "of age"... 14 or 15, if they are really good kids (but I got into a LOT of trouble at that age with latch-key kids... so maybe not even then). 

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kirita323
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:28 PM

Take away the tv?

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:30 PM

 


Quoting SewingMamaLele:


Quoting llacourd:

She'll be 12 in April so she's of age. Overall she seems like a happy girl though. Usually in a good mood, enjoys our attention. We live in a small town so programs are difficult. I think one of my biggest struggles is getting her dad to recognize this as a problem and willing to work with me. But maybe it is me. Maybe it's just get age... oh I don't know

I don't even think 12 is "of age"... 14 or 15, if they are really good kids (but I got into a LOT of trouble at that age with latch-key kids... so maybe not even then). 

Legally 10 yr olds can stay home by themselves in our area .. It could be 9 but not sure.  Then at 11 they can watch their siblings w/o supervision.  

 

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