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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Calling all stay at home moms!

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How do you define SAHM? What duties, or jobs do you have during the day? Do you have a routine, or just wing it? What role does your husband play when he's not working? Does he help with the kids, or relax when he's not working?

My husband and I have struggled to get a routine down since I have become a SAHM. He's a firefighter, so during the winter, he's usually home for a few days a week. Then he's gone just as quick. Idk what I should expect from him when he is home, and Idk what he expects from me when he's not.

Thanks :)

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:25 PM
Replies (41-47):
mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:53 PM
I do most of the cleaning and all of the cooking. My husband can't cook to save his life. Since oct though he's been helping out a lot more on top of working. I went on bedret and then had an emergency csection in nov then surgery again a few weeks ago. He normally just helps me around the house on the weekends and cleans up after dinner some times. I'm trying to get m routine back but my daughter wants to be held at all times and doesn't nap during the day.
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LucyHarper
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:59 PM

I'm not a stay at home mom, but was for a little while. In my opinion, a stay at home moms job is to keep the house clean, do any home related errands, and take care of the kids while the husband is at work. The father is also responsible for the children, time with their father is important and he shouldn't just sit around and ignore them when he's home, so while he's home, child related responsibilities, like bathing, feeding, playing, putting to bed, etc. should be shared. The mom is also not a personal maid service, while the mom should be the one to take care of the majority of the house cleaning and the major things, the husband should be responsible for any personal cleaning and any cleaning that he contributes to, like doing a load of laundry every once in a while, folding and putting away his own laundry, making the occasional meal, making his own breakfasts and lunches, cleaning up his messes like if he tracks mud in the house, etc. But it varies by home.

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I don't understand the need to say this is your job and this is mine.  We are a team.  If hes not here I take care of whatever and if he is here we do it together or I do it or he does it.  There is no chore list or specific chores either of us does really.  we are both adults and quite capable of doing anything.  I usually do most of the house/kid stuff just because I am home and it needs to be done.  He went from being only home 2-3 days a month to now he is home daily but its erratic.  some days he is gone 16 hours some days he is gone 6.

Kcdavis11
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:00 PM

I have a routine. During the day my kids are at school so I clean, go to the tanning bed and the gym. Once they get off the bus it is homework and dinner. Monday night is Girl Scouts, I'm the leader. Tuesday is kings club, a bible study for the kids after school so I get an extra hour to myself. Wednesday is Awanas, a bible club I volunteer at with the kids. Thursdays they have gymnastics. Fridays I babysit and they go with me. Saturdays vary, usually birthday parties. Sundays we go to church and have family day. My husband works out of town so while he is away I am a single mom and do it all on my own. But when he is home he does all the cooking and helps with whatever I need. We are great at team work. 

raggedyann03
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:07 PM

My other half is a truck driver.  He is gone 3 weeks and home 1 week.  I obviously do everything while he is gone.  I don't have a schedule though.  As long as my daughter makes it to the bus on time, I know I'm doing good.  When he is home, I still almost everything.  It's his time off.  Why should he have to work???

la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:26 PM

 When I'm home, I do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare. When he is home we do it 50/50. We don't intentionally divide things up and say this is your chore, this is mine we both just tackle what needs to be done.

mommaFruFru
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:32 PM
I don't have a set schedule, aside from wake up/bedtimes and school pickups.

I do it all except garbage and home improvements. I don't expect df to help. He has his job and being a sahm is my job
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