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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Calling all stay at home moms!

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:25 PM
  • 47 Replies

How do you define SAHM? What duties, or jobs do you have during the day? Do you have a routine, or just wing it? What role does your husband play when he's not working? Does he help with the kids, or relax when he's not working?

My husband and I have struggled to get a routine down since I have become a SAHM. He's a firefighter, so during the winter, he's usually home for a few days a week. Then he's gone just as quick. Idk what I should expect from him when he is home, and Idk what he expects from me when he's not.

Thanks :)

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rockinmomto2
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM
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You need to figure out what it means to you and what you expect from your husband. When my DH is gone, everything falls on me. If he has to work late, he has to work late. On days he's home, he helps out. He cleans up, washes dishes, vacuums. I do all that during the week. I do all the laundry regardless of who's home, and I cook all the food. He, in return, makes all the money. 

I personally don't have a schedule (not one that I stick to, anyway). I just do what needs to be done.

aarensmommy
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:30 PM

i sah and dh works, i clean, take care of the kids (bath, bedtime, homework ect) pretty much everything in the house i do except cooking, he does that :)

he usually sits around n play COD on his days off or does stuff outside if it is nice, if he sees i need help he will help out....he has never helped with bath time though lol

xanayda
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:32 PM
This is pretty much our household except i hate doing laundry so he usually helps he out with that too! He's a good hubby! :)

Quoting rockinmomto2:

You need to figure out what it means to you and what you expect from your husband. When my DH is gone, everything falls on me. If he has to work late, he has to work late. On days he's home, he helps out. He cleans up, washes dishes, vacuums. I do all that during the week. I do all the laundry regardless of who's home, and I cook all the food. He, in return, makes all the money. 

I personally don't have a schedule (not one that I stick to, anyway). I just do what needs to be done.

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justinnaimee
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:33 PM
My husband works 2 weeks on 2 off. His location is currently 6 hours away do his 2 on he's gone. When he is home he takes it easy but will vacuum or do dishes or supervise chores if I need him to. He also watches the kids once or twice so I can go get a pedicure or go out with my girlfriends.

The house is always my responsibility but if I need help I ask and he does what I ask
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momma2mms
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:33 PM

In our home I take care of all of the cleaning, laundry, cooking, and homework. My Dh does the outside work. (Pool, yard and all maintenance.) It is what works for us. You have to figure out what will work for your family.

mgm_5
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:38 PM
I wake up take my kids to school, come home n clean, i do laundry 2 times a week, i sweep daily mop twice a week, run errands, pick up kids, if they have any practices I'll take them, make dinner, get my dh's lunch ready for work, get my kids ready for bed, stay up with my 2 yr old them go to bed, my daily routine is different day to day depending on what needs to be done, some days are busier then others
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Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:38 PM
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I always told my husband that as a SAHM my first priority was to care for and raise the children.  I was there to meet their needs (emotionally, developmentally, physically) when possible I would do more than a "fair share" of the housework, but it wasn't going to rest entirely on me.  

Once I started working evenings and he had to care for the children he learned very quickly that being at home with the kids wasn't sitting on the couch eating bon-bons.  He became a much better partner after that and even now that the kids are older he continues to help more fully

StacyO722
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm responsible for the inside of the home, I clean, cook, handle bills, laundry, etc. He does most of the outside work, he mows the lawn, shovels snow, we both tend to the garden and plants in the summer.

When it comes to DD, we are both parents when we're home. He changed diapers and fed her when she was little, it wasn't all my responsibility. Now that she's a little older, he takes her on "adventures" on the weekends so I can have a little me time or get some housework done in peace.

I'd sit down with your DH and write a list. You write down what you feel you should do as a SAHM and what he should be responsible for. He does the same, and then you compare lists and come to an agreement on what each of you should do around the house. Good luck :)

jstine86
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Thanks all :)

See, right now my husband is working 2 days on, 4 off. It's during those 4 days that we need to figure out who does what and when. I can't wrap my brain around a four day vacation for him. lol. I'm not saying he doesn't help, he just sometimes does stuff, only on his time. Some 4 days, he will hardly do anything, others he will help out a lot. I feel like we need to come up with a plan so everyone in the house knows what is expected of them. Maybe we should make a weekly chore list. Might sound childish, but maybe it would help. :)

jstine86
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 3:46 PM

 


Quoting StacyO722:

 I'm responsible for the inside of the home, I clean, cook, handle bills, laundry, etc. He does most of the outside work, he mows the lawn, shovels snow, we both tend to the garden and plants in the summer.

When it comes to DD, we are both parents when we're home. He changed diapers and fed her when she was little, it wasn't all my responsibility. Now that she's a little older, he takes her on "adventures" on the weekends so I can have a little me time or get some housework done in peace.

I'd sit down with your DH and write a list. You write down what you feel you should do as a SAHM and what he should be responsible for. He does the same, and then you compare lists and come to an agreement on what each of you should do around the house. Good luck :)

Thanks! This is kind of what I had in mind with the chore list. Just what we expect each other to do on a daily basis! As far as our son goes, he definitely helps. He changes diapers, puts him in the shower, walks him to the park so I can have a break. He's always been a great helper with our son. It's the house we struggle with. lol

 

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