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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Feeling Defeated.. Mom to a 4 1/2 year old

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:27 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi Moms! I'm feeling so defeated lately and have no clue what to do.. I need advice! Awhile back, my son was having problems at school, hitting, biting, kicking, etc... I got a call from the daycare supervisor saying they we would have to take him somewhere else. After speaking with her some more we came to an agreement that we had 30 days to straighten out his behaviour. We took away toys & tv, if we had to ask him to do something more than once he would be put in a time out, and we read books on respecting others. Everything has been perfect since then! I mean, he's still had his moments but no more than any other little boy. Again yesterday, I got a call from the supervisor.. when a little girl tried to go in the fort he threatened to punch her in the face, at clean up time he'll hide in the bathroom or go out to his locker and he's been talking back. His toys were gone that night and no tv.. we threatened to not let him go to this Birthday party on the weekend. Today I called to see how things were going and one of the teachers said 'horrible.' He was choking a kid, when asked why he did it he said he was hugging him from behind, he hasn't been listening and not cleaning again. He will NOT be attending the Birthday party this weekend but what else can I do?!

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:27 PM
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Replies (1-7):
SMTCMMoore
by Melissa on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Let him live with this consequence and remember that his bad heavier is not a reflection of who you are. He is making these choices and some of it is just his personality. What are you doing for positive reinforcement?
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joshsmom0518
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:38 PM

Whenever he's been good we've been putting money in a jar for a cruise we're going on in March, I also told him if he had a good day at school today he could pick out whatever he wanted for supper and we'd play a board game. Then of course, when he does something good we let him know we appreciate it and give him big hugs and talk about how awesome it is he did whatever it was.

emmy526
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:53 PM

The school had no other options for you other than 'straighten him out' or he'll be kicked out? Sounds like he doesn't fit their 'mold' and you should pull him outta there...if they can give you no other alternative than to tell you to straighten him out or he's kicked out, i'd seriously have to think about what kind of learning environment goes on there.  Do they have qualified teachers? if so, why arent they making a professional recommendation?  Why isn't the director making a professional recommendation?  Sounds like a really crappy place i wouldn't want my kid in, and no wonder he acts out there.  In your child's case, i'd say the child doesn't fit the school, and the school doesn't fit the child's needs.  He needs help, not bribery and punishment.  There's a reason why he's sneaking off and doing these things.  A child counselor can help find out what's bothering him.  

joshsmom0518
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:59 PM

They helped us in correcting his behavious.. the director is a b*** but I love the other teachers as does my son. The only thing is, is the daycare is in the school my son will be attending this fall. I only get a half hour lunch and his school is on the other side of the city near our house.. if I pull him out I'll have to drive there to take him in the afternoons then again to go get him after school. He usually loves it, that's why I'm so confused as to why he is acting like this..

crazy4u49033
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you had him evaluated? It wouldn't hurt to ask your pedi for an evaluation to check for anger and emotional disorders.
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SMTCMMoore
by Melissa on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:30 PM
The cruise is probably to big and too far off to feel like a reward. Think short course. My kids love saving in their good behavior jar to split a smoothie on Saturday after basketball. Then it's only a few days away. But the choosing dinner and game is great! I may use that fridaynight for game night!

Quoting joshsmom0518:

Whenever he's been good we've been putting money in a jar for a cruise we're going on in March, I also told him if he had a good day at school today he could pick out whatever he wanted for supper and we'd play a board game. Then of course, when he does something good we let him know we appreciate it and give him big hugs and talk about how awesome it is he did whatever it was.

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joshsmom0518
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:45 PM

That sounds like a great idea!! I used to buy those Squinkies and when he had a good day he could pick one out.. I could try that too.

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