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Help!? How many moms...

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:56 PM
  • 8 Replies
Have children with an age gap of more than just a few years? I have a ds who is 8 year old, Monday I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. And although my son is happy to finally have a sibling the adjustment has been kind of rough on us all. He has always been my one and only main focus, since Monday it's changed because there were a fewinor complications with the baby after my csection so she has became the main focus. He hasn't been getting left out or anything like that but I can see him getting jealous at times. So how did all y'all handle adjusting with new baby and helping your older kids adjust as well?
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:56 PM
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Replies (1-8):
cwaymama87
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:01 PM
1 mom liked this

My are only 15 months apart but I have a friend who is 8 years older than her brother and my brother is 9 years older than me.  I know my friend was really mean to her brother but I remember my brother was always real nice to me.  I think it all depends on how much you involve the older child in caring for the baby.  Have him help you figure out why the baby is crying and help to soothe her.  Also set aside time for just you and your boy.  Me and my husband usually take one day a week and spend time with just one child.  My husband takes the oldest and I'll take the youngest, we go get ice cream or go to the park then switch the next time.  I don't know if this will help you any but I hope so.  Good luck and congrats!

GOBryan
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

It's common for the older ones to become jealous, especially if he/she was an only child. Have him help you with the baby and just include him in the little things. He'll come around. Let him know how she's going to look up to her big brother, etc. 

MJP76
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:06 PM
1 mom liked this

My largest gap is 5 years.

i didn't have any type of issue ..my DD and older DS adjusted just fine..

rHOPEb
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this

It will take time.  Me and my brother are 7yrs.  I have a friend that her and her sister are 12yrs.  My children are 3.5yrs and my daughter at times will act out when she's feeling neglected.  So, I just make sure that I set aside special time for her when the baby is sleeping.  We read or color or watch a movie and snuggle.  Its nice.  I know she will be going to school soon so I'm trying to do all I can with her now.

Shari55
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:20 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughters are 36, 23(almost 24) and 18. Heather my oldest loved having a little sister after being an only for twelve years. Nyssa had trouble adjusting to having a younger sibling after being an only for five years, part of the problem was she started kindergarten that year, six days after we brought Michaela home. 

I had a c-section with each of the girls, so recovery was different each time.  Having the age different really wasn't planned, just kind of happend and it was God's will.



Shari, wife to John since April 1988, Mom to Heather (Jan. 1977) she is mom to five(3boys, 2 girls), Nyssa(April 1989) Michaela(August 1994) and four cats

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I have 6.5 year age gap. My son has adjusted really well. We have involved him every step
Of the way.
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yperez0209
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:25 PM
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I think what you are doing is just fine. And him feeling that he's not the center of the universe is not such a terrible thing to experience. In the real world he would of learned the same lesson and it's alot easier to learn it from his parents and siblings than some jerk boss. It will take time and he will challenge you. Always answer him with love and assurance that he is special.

Beautifulmom513
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this

my son is 10 years old and we just had our 2nd baby a few months ago. so far we haven't had any problems or issues. my son loves being a big brother and has adjusted quite well to having a sibling after being an only child for so long. when he is home he loves playing with the baby and helping me with her. he is doing great.

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