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Help! How do I stop my kindergartener from getting bit at school?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:17 AM
  • 12 Replies
My ds is in kindergarten. He just turned 6. This is the 1st time he has ever been to school. He had some difficulty adjusting at first, but is doing well now & is even the top reader in his class. Our only problem is that this one kid keeps biting and hiting him. He has been bit 3 times since school started, I wasn't notified any of the times it happened. He came home from school with teeth marks in his arms or on his hands that were red and raised for hours. I took pictures and emailed both his teacher and the principal. I have also spoken with them both on the phone and in person about this. He also comes home with bruises on his face from where this kid hits him. He did bite back once after he was bitten the second time, but he hasn't done it since. He never was a biter, even when he was little. He has no other problems with any other child in his class, just this boy that keeps hurting him. We don't want to teach our son to deal with these situations violently, but how can we when all we can tell him is to try to stay away from and not provoke the other child? I don't see how this shows the other kid that biting is an unacceptable behavior. The school only informs me when my son does something wrong, like acting out when they have a subsitute or being too loud, not when something has been done to him. I have asked for the boys to be kept apart, but they tell me there's nothing they can do. I also asked for my son to change classes and they said no. All I got was that they would never be in the same class again after this school year. Over the past 2 weeks he has been bitten and hit in the face. And again, the school did nothing to notify me. Now I'm mad. If and when this happens again I'm gonna lose it!! What can I do to keep my son from getting hurt? We keep telling him to just stay away from this kid, but how can we prevent anything when they share a classroom? I'm not the kind of parent that thinks my kids can do no wrong, they're human and they have their flaws, but I'm at my wits end with this. Thanks!!
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
doulala
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:22 AM

I would make an appt in person or by phone, no email, with the teach and principal for asap.   
Their policies are NOT acceptable.

bellawomen
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:22 AM
You need to demand it or go above them and ask for a meeting with the superintendent. No way would I be happy.

My son was choked by a friend (who has behavior problems, but choked no less) and I was called right away. That was first grade. My son and 3 of his friends were kicked in the legs by a bully boy who was aiming for their penis/testicles. I was contacted right away and also told the punishment of the other boy (3 week suspension).
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xoch86
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:27 AM

The fact that they aren't calling u is the part that pisses me off. What don't mean they told u no? id demad a meeting with the teacher, the principal, AND the partents. Let then know that if it happened again, u would take it to the superintendent(start documenting. Pictures, dates, and times called), and let them know that the next step would be the police department!

hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:38 AM
Yep, start gathering a notebook of evidence and go higher up

Quoting bellawomen:

You need to demand it or go above them and ask for a meeting with the superintendent. No way would I be happy.



My son was choked by a friend (who has behavior problems, but choked no less) and I was called right away. That was first grade. My son and 3 of his friends were kicked in the legs by a bully boy who was aiming for their penis/testicles. I was contacted right away and also told the punishment of the other boy (3 week suspension).
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snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:39 AM
I would email and call one more time to the principal.
Tell him if "nothing can be done" then you will be pulling your child from their school, you will put him in a different school or homeschool, you will be talking to the superintendent and possibly the police. Your child deserve to have an education free from bullies, isn't it supposed to be 0 tolerance. There is no reason for a child to be bite by another child in school, that's what 1 year olds do.

If nothing is done, go over his head. Bring copies of your emails and pics.

I know everyone preaches non-violence but your child is being bullied and needs to stand up for himself. Unfortunately in life sometimes you have to fight back.
I have the 3 rule. If someone has hit you 3 times (separate or 3 times in a row) and nothing has been done, hit back and you will not get in trouble at home.
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DarlaHood
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:41 AM

I had to do a double take to see if I read your post title correctly!  That is NOT at all acceptable.  I would go to the school and speak directly to the teacher and the principal.  I would let them know that it is NOT o.k. that this has happened 3 times, and it is NOT o.k. that you are not phoned immediately when your son is hurt at school.

I would want to know exactly what their plan is to keep this other child away from yours.  This is not an unreasonable request considering it has now happened 3 times in 3 or 4 months!  They have an issue with this other child that they need to resolve, but that is not your problem.  Your concern is for your son, and he has a right to feel safe at school.

I would also give your son some tips about what to do if the kid does try to bite him again.  And after 3 times, I think it might include a couple of defensive moves. 

peaches_04
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:23 AM
If they continue to do nothing id look into open enrollment and switch schools

Is there any way u can talk to the other kids parents?
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momoftwo0406
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 4:13 AM
That is not at all ok and you better believe I would be in that school raising hell till they moved my kid or the other kid. Also I would ask why they are allowing it. Maybe you need to spend a day in class with your son or some schools have cameras in class where you can watch and listen to the class without distracting the kids. Something needs to be done.
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mjande4
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:39 PM

I agree with this AND by kindergarten a child who is biting needs to be expelled. I know in preschool a little boy was thrown out after the 3rd time he bit my son. Do NOT tolerate this. That child could have special needs BUT that does not excuse this. Your son has a right to be safe. Good luck!

Quoting DarlaHood:

I had to do a double take to see if I read your post title correctly!  That is NOT at all acceptable.  I would go to the school and speak directly to the teacher and the principal.  I would let them know that it is NOT o.k. that this has happened 3 times, and it is NOT o.k. that you are not phoned immediately when your son is hurt at school.

I would want to know exactly what their plan is to keep this other child away from yours.  This is not an unreasonable request considering it has now happened 3 times in 3 or 4 months!  They have an issue with this other child that they need to resolve, but that is not your problem.  Your concern is for your son, and he has a right to feel safe at school.

I would also give your son some tips about what to do if the kid does try to bite him again.  And after 3 times, I think it might include a couple of defensive moves. 



atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Who does your son say is biting him, and why??
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