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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Have to do "controlled crying" with very attached little 9 mth old girl to sleep in her crib tonight....help!!!!

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:40 PM
  • 237 Replies

If anyone has done this please give me some advice or inspiration, the dr told me to do it because my ankles and feet are swollen in the morning from sleeping in the rocking chair in her room holding her. She will sleep in her crib just wakes constantly wanting to sleep on me! She was born early and has issues with weight. She is only 12 pounds now. I have had to feed her every four hours until this month and that Is another reason dr says its time, I had no choice before because I had to feed her all night, another reason she is so used to waking up. She is so tiny and fragile looking I feel so sorry for her and she also gags and acts like she is choking when she cries or even hollers out in joy?!?!? That also freaks me out and makes me not want to let her cry. The dr says to sit by her crib ten minutes then in the doorway so she knows I'm there, this makes me think she will cry worse though if she see's me?! Supernanny says go in after two minutes and say sweet I love you'd and leave and keep doubling the time 2,4,8,16 etc, until she is asleep. I was supposed to. Start last night while my 5 year old is with grandparents so he won't have to hear it, but I couldn't....please help!!!!

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SpiritedMom2
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:45 PM
64 moms liked this

Please ...dont. There are other ways to handle this. Why do you need to sit up? Have you thought about co-sleeping? I come from a culture where 100% parents co-sleep and we have 0% incidence of SIDS. All my siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, all my friends from the same culture as me - they all co-sleep and we have never had any problems ever. I co -sleep with my 3 yo ds ever since he was born and he has no sleep problems at all. Your child is fragile and she needs you terribly right now. You have plenty of time and ocassion to get her out of it when shes older and doesnt need you as much. PLEASE re-think it - controlled crying, CIO borders on child abuse - its cruel...your mother insticnt is right - go with it. You will never regret co-sleeping - but you may regret leaving her alone when she needed u so much she cried and cried.

SewingMamaLele
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:45 PM
22 moms liked this

If you don't want to CIO, then don't.   Absolutely don't continue to sleep in a rocking chair, though... that's dangerous for her and not good for you.

It's 100% normal for a 9 month old to wake at night and be attached to mom... she's normal and you can't "fix" normal.   She will become independant and be ready to sleep alone in time... now is just not the time.  

Get a bedrail, lay her down in bed next to you and get some sleep!!!  

DragonMother10
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
My son doesn't really want to sleep in his crib either, we got him used to co-sleeping with us. It has his advantages and disadvantages. No space in the bed, unless it's just me and him, but I like the fact he is right there.
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joyfullem
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:55 PM
2 moms liked this

CIO is that the same as controlled crying?  Its probably not the advice you want but have you tried putting her crib next to your bed? Or is she only satisfied with sleeping on you?

haymama
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Im not for CIO either. With my first 2 we put them in a crib form the start and they did wake up every couple hrs but we always went to them never let them cio with my last 2 we bedshare and they sleep through the night. Me personally i don't think its right to let them cio they're crying it means something and they need you(general you not you specifically)whether its just comfort or maybe there's something wrong they need your presence and comfort. I would never deny my kids their mommys comfort. Maybe bring her into your room either move her crib in there or consider/research cosleeping or bedsharing . How long has she been in her own room and how long has she been in her own crib? Maybe she's not feeling comfortable/safe alone in a room?
Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:03 PM
2 moms liked this

I haven't tried her in crib by my bed but I coslept w my five year old and learned not to again.... She won't sleep in bed w me anyways for some reason... 

chefmartha
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:17 PM
30 moms liked this

Oh Please! All three of my kids, including my preemie, have slept on their own since they were born. We had a basinet next to the bed that we slept in. As soon as they were sleeping through the night they were moved into their own room. We used a baby monitor and never had a problem. My SIL, on the other hand, had her girls sleep with her. She has just recently gotten her bed back. Both girls finally began sleeping in their own rooms and beds when they were thirteen. The only reason she had them sleep with her to begin with was because she could only afford the one bed. But I'm sorry kids don't belong sleeping in the parent's bed. 

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Im all for going in at additional intervals until she is asleep. I did it with my little guy (6 now) who has almost always (unless sick) slept alone in his bed. My SILs kids slept in her bed til they were 12... I couldnt do that! Not that i think kids dont eventually learn their own way... If you cant do it now, then wait 4 more weeks and reacess... Nothing is permanent. Do what your comfy with. I needed to teach my son to sleep on his own, but waited til he was 6 months old (he was also a preemie) for both of us. I needed a better nights sleep then i was getting, i needed for him to be ok with it. It took about 6 days but it worked for us. Hewqs also a fatty by the time i was putting him to sleep Lone... Lol... He was 12 lbs by 3 months! 

Healthy sleep habits, happy baby was good book for us. Check it out from your local library. 

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:09 PM
5 moms liked this

I agree with this.....

Quoting SpiritedMom2:

Please ...dont. There are other ways to handle this. Why do you need to sit up? Have you thought about co-sleeping? I come from a culture where 100% parents co-sleep and we have 0% incidence of SIDS. All my siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, all my friends from the same culture as me - they all co-sleep and we have never had any problems ever. I co -sleep with my 3 yo ds ever since he was born and he has no sleep problems at all. Your child is fragile and she needs you terribly right now. You have plenty of time and ocassion to get her out of it when shes older and doesnt need you as much. PLEASE re-think it - controlled crying,

@ Camsmom  ~~  Always trust your instincts as a mother! It will gain you more knowledge than just about anything else will.  

whoodathunk
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:21 PM
4 moms liked this

I had a porta-crib for my daughter and kept it right next to my bed.  I would rest my hand on her back and she'd sleep fine.  I'm a really sound sleeper and don't like the idea of co-sleeping for fear of rolling onto the baby so this worked for me.  For naps, I'd rock them to sleep adn then put them in the crib and they'd be okay.  If they wake, go in and soothe by patting on the back or singing.  You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby!  Good luck and sweet dreams to your little one!

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