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Have to do "controlled crying" with very attached little 9 mth old girl to sleep in her crib tonight....help!!!!

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If anyone has done this please give me some advice or inspiration, the dr told me to do it because my ankles and feet are swollen in the morning from sleeping in the rocking chair in her room holding her. She will sleep in her crib just wakes constantly wanting to sleep on me! She was born early and has issues with weight. She is only 12 pounds now. I have had to feed her every four hours until this month and that Is another reason dr says its time, I had no choice before because I had to feed her all night, another reason she is so used to waking up. She is so tiny and fragile looking I feel so sorry for her and she also gags and acts like she is choking when she cries or even hollers out in joy?!?!? That also freaks me out and makes me not want to let her cry. The dr says to sit by her crib ten minutes then in the doorway so she knows I'm there, this makes me think she will cry worse though if she see's me?! Supernanny says go in after two minutes and say sweet I love you'd and leave and keep doubling the time 2,4,8,16 etc, until she is asleep. I was supposed to. Start last night while my 5 year old is with grandparents so he won't have to hear it, but I couldn't....please help!!!!

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Replies (181-190):
-Mommy-2-Three-
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:34 PM

If she is over 5-6m old & she isn't hungry/wet/poopy/hurt/sick & hasn't been neglected of attention throughout the day then I am completely comfortable with CIO.........my kids have all 3 loved to sleep & been really laid back so luckily I haven't had to suffer through many nights of it so I cant be of great help! :(

Have you tried playing music in her room, tried a mobile with lights/music, tried a nature sound CD, could even go extreme & buy a playpen that has vibrations...........anything to get some sleep!

Good luck hun!!!

GrammaJane46
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

My granddaughter was a poor sleeper from birth, mostly due to milk allergies and the stress of figuring out what formula she could tolerate.  (No bashing -- mom had a breast reduction in her teens and no effort was made to preserve her ability to breast feed, bad doctor.)    The only way we could guarantee prolonged sleep, night or day, was to sleep with her on a chest - mom's, dad's, grandparent's, uncles, aunts.  No matter, but she needed the body warmth and the stomach-sleeping position.  Finally, I convinced mom the baby would not die if she slept in her crib and  on her tummy, and that gave us some relief.  The big helper was a recliner chair -- I got one with a motorized footrest/back so that we could make smooth transitions.  That's still how she sleeps best when she is ill, curled beside a caregiver.  

In spite of all that, we did cio when she was about a year old.  Mom couldn't bear to leave the room, but once mom was convinced to leave the not-sleeping child alone but awake, the crying stopped in a matter of days - I think 3.

Now she is three, just started preschool, and is so tired at the end of the day that she asks to go to bed.  Who would have guessed!!

Do what you think is best Mommy.  You are the mommy and she is yours to cherish.  Just remember to take care of yourself as well.  Tell daddy the rocking chair is his on weekends!!


Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:46 PM

Thank you very much!! I didn't do it this weekend after all, maybe I will wait until a year old, maybe not. I know it isn't going to get easier on her or me by waiting....she will be able to crawl out of crib and say mommy and that will be real rough! 

Quoting GrammaJane46:

My granddaughter was a poor sleeper from birth, mostly due to milk allergies and the stress of figuring out what formula she could tolerate.  (No bashing -- mom had a breast reduction in her teens and no effort was made to preserve her ability to breast feed, bad doctor.)    The only way we could guarantee prolonged sleep, night or day, was to sleep with her on a chest - mom's, dad's, grandparent's, uncles, aunts.  No matter, but she needed the body warmth and the stomach-sleeping position.  Finally, I convinced mom the baby would not die if she slept in her crib and  on her tummy, and that gave us some relief.  The big helper was a recliner chair -- I got one with a motorized footrest/back so that we could make smooth transitions.  That's still how she sleeps best when she is ill, curled beside a caregiver.  

In spite of all that, we did cio when she was about a year old.  Mom couldn't bear to leave the room, but once mom was convinced to leave the not-sleeping child alone but awake, the crying stopped in a matter of days - I think 3.

Now she is three, just started preschool, and is so tired at the end of the day that she asks to go to bed.  Who would have guessed!!

Do what you think is best Mommy.  You are the mommy and she is yours to cherish.  Just remember to take care of yourself as well.  Tell daddy the rocking chair is his on weekends!!



SewingMamaLele
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:24 AM
1 mom liked this

It actually does get easier the older they get because they can *understand* you.   And with CIO, you will likely have to do it again anytime anything disrupts her sleep (illness, travel, etc...), so it's not always a do it once and everything is perfect thing.  

Quoting Camsmom101007:

Thank you very much!! I didn't do it this weekend after all, maybe I will wait until a year old, maybe not. I know it isn't going to get easier on her or me by waiting....she will be able to crawl out of crib and say mommy and that will be real rough! 

Quoting GrammaJane46:

My granddaughter was a poor sleeper from birth, mostly due to milk allergies and the stress of figuring out what formula she could tolerate.  (No bashing -- mom had a breast reduction in her teens and no effort was made to preserve her ability to breast feed, bad doctor.)    The only way we could guarantee prolonged sleep, night or day, was to sleep with her on a chest - mom's, dad's, grandparent's, uncles, aunts.  No matter, but she needed the body warmth and the stomach-sleeping position.  Finally, I convinced mom the baby would not die if she slept in her crib and  on her tummy, and that gave us some relief.  The big helper was a recliner chair -- I got one with a motorized footrest/back so that we could make smooth transitions.  That's still how she sleeps best when she is ill, curled beside a caregiver.  

In spite of all that, we did cio when she was about a year old.  Mom couldn't bear to leave the room, but once mom was convinced to leave the not-sleeping child alone but awake, the crying stopped in a matter of days - I think 3.

Now she is three, just started preschool, and is so tired at the end of the day that she asks to go to bed.  Who would have guessed!!

Do what you think is best Mommy.  You are the mommy and she is yours to cherish.  Just remember to take care of yourself as well.  Tell daddy the rocking chair is his on weekends!!




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sgtLF
by Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:40 AM

My grand daughter sleeps with her parents she is 13 months try co sleeping might be better for both of you two

kaisermama
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:44 AM

I don't go for the cio way either. i do believe that if my baby is crying she needs her mommy and im going to be there for her. she can't tell me whats wrong and until then i am going to snuggle my little girl while i can. but on the other hand mommy needs her sleep too. my daughter of 7 months just recently outgrew her bassinet in our room and ive been trying to put her in her crib (upstairs). sometimes this seems to be harder for me sometimes than her seeing as i need to be checking on her all the time. but now that she has sore throght and double ear infection she coughs all night and wont sleep away from me so we set up a playpen in living room and she sleeps fine. yet she isn't in our room... one step at a time...

nahgema
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:45 AM
Do what you think is right. There is not only one way to get your child to sleep and every child and family is different. Some children are ok to sleep on their own and in their own beds right away and for others it is a process. I am speaking from personal experience. My son was never a good sleeper and at first I tried everything I thought I was "supposed" to do to put my child to sleep. The result was that everyone was miserable and no one slept. We did a variety of creative things that seem unconventional but they worked for us in the end. (My son started out sleeping with us but is now in his own bed - he's 3). It is still a work-in-progress but now I don't sweat it! Try different things and if they don't work try something else. Don't be afraid to trust your Mama instincts. If you think your baby girl needs you right now, she does. But this will change as she grows and changes.
Do what is right for you and your family and take care of yourself. I hope you can find something that works and that you both get some sleep!
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Mommatoobe
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:46 AM

Once you start a habit, it makes it hard to break. Do it by baby steps. I am a mother of 3 young children. I have an in home daycare before I had kids. I was a over full time nanny to 5 children under 5 while I have my own nb too.

If I was in your situation this is what I would do.

1. Feed a bottle at 6pm. Bathtime. Story time. Cuddle time (sitting on couch, not rocking chair - just singing, talking to her, soothing her with your voice while she is wrapped in your arms.

2. Feed a bottle right after cuddle time.

3.Check her diaper.

4. Lay her down in her crib. Sit next to it and do one or two of these things through the bar (hold her hand, rub her belly, play with her hair, or anything else comforting you can think of)

5. Do this until she is asleep. Stay there. hands by your side for a few minutes longer. Slowly move out of room.

6. If she wakes sit down next to crib...don't talk. don't look. Just sit. You can rub her belly to soothe her but don't pick her up.

Follow the steps each night. They will get shorter each time.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is tough but we Mom's can get through anything!

StevieMarie
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this

 Don't let anyone tell you it is child abuse or borders on child abuse. Thats nonsense. Do it in definied intervals. We started with 5 minutes, then went it, making physical contact without picking them up, for 30 seconds, then left for 10 minutes. We went in and did the same thing. They always calmed themselves down before the 15 minute interval. They dont have any issues now. Even when they get hurt, even to the point of bleeding, they take deep breaths, get a kiss and a hug and they're good.

Roses1977
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 2:20 AM

Hi hunny ,

My daughter was born early yet not as small as your daughter .However i can understand where your coming from its heartbreaking to hear your child whimpering let alone crying.  I did put my daughter in her crib and would sing to her to get her off actually to Robson and Jerome. I also bought her a music dome which played music and also animal shapes fill the room when it rotated. The issue here is do what feels comfortable. It is achieveable to leave room and allow her reassurance . I suppose you have tried giving her a teddy that you have ensured has your scent.

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