Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Have to do "controlled crying" with very attached little 9 mth old girl to sleep in her crib tonight....help!!!!

Posted by   + Show Post

If anyone has done this please give me some advice or inspiration, the dr told me to do it because my ankles and feet are swollen in the morning from sleeping in the rocking chair in her room holding her. She will sleep in her crib just wakes constantly wanting to sleep on me! She was born early and has issues with weight. She is only 12 pounds now. I have had to feed her every four hours until this month and that Is another reason dr says its time, I had no choice before because I had to feed her all night, another reason she is so used to waking up. She is so tiny and fragile looking I feel so sorry for her and she also gags and acts like she is choking when she cries or even hollers out in joy?!?!? That also freaks me out and makes me not want to let her cry. The dr says to sit by her crib ten minutes then in the doorway so she knows I'm there, this makes me think she will cry worse though if she see's me?! Supernanny says go in after two minutes and say sweet I love you'd and leave and keep doubling the time 2,4,8,16 etc, until she is asleep. I was supposed to. Start last night while my 5 year old is with grandparents so he won't have to hear it, but I couldn't....please help!!!!

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Replies (11-20):
piwife
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:42 PM
Idk what to tell you. My 9 mth old sleeps in my bed. Nurses all night. I have 3 kids and I could never bring myself to cio.. sorry I just find it awful. Maybe try a fan or some whine noise. I have bedshare with my 3 kids
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
piwife
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this
By the way your pedi is a moron.. she is supposed to wake up to eat at night.. I mean if the pedi is trying to get her to gain weight why would he tell you not to feed at night. Am guessing baby is ff? What's baby's adjusted age weight? And how much was baby at birth and how much is baby now?


Quoting Camsmom101007:

If anyone has done this please give me some advice or inspiration, the dr told me to do it because my ankles and feet are swollen in the morning from sleeping in the rocking chair in her room holding her. She will sleep in her crib just wakes constantly wanting to sleep on me! She was born early and has issues with weight. She is only 12 pounds now. I have had to feed her every four hours until this month and that Is another reason dr says its time, I had no choice before because I had to feed her all night, another reason she is so used to waking up. She is so tiny and fragile looking I feel so sorry for her and she also gags and acts like she is choking when she cries or even hollers out in joy?!?!? That also freaks me out and makes me not want to let her cry. The dr says to sit by her crib ten minutes then in the doorway so she knows I'm there, this makes me think she will cry worse though if she see's me?! Supernanny says go in after two minutes and say sweet I love you'd and leave and keep doubling the time 2,4,8,16 etc, until she is asleep. I was supposed to. Start last night while my 5 year old is with grandparents so he won't have to hear it, but I couldn't....please help!!!!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 3:54 PM

He said she is ready to not be fed thru night because she is finally following the curve that all baby's follow, before she wasn't but she is 3 percentile for height and weight. She was born five pounds but induced for abdomine being too small, hence having to eat small increments frequently. I slept with my son and had horrible results. All kids are different. 

conejoazul
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 4:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Co-Sleep with your baby, Mama. You will rest, baby will rest. Even if you nurse or bottle feed throughout the night, it is much better than the solution your doctor and supernanny have suggested. Even if you don´t sleep soundly, you will both rest and you won´t be doing this crying business.

If you are concerned your bed isn´t big enough, clear a space on the floor, put down several blankets or even your mattress and sleep there. There is are reasons why women all over this planet can survive raising homes full of needy children - co-sleeping is one of them.

Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 4:31 PM

BUMP!

Marimaru
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:20 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't understand this at all.  Except for the babies who sleep through the night because THEY choose too, it's totally normal for a baby to wake up to eat up to a year.  If she's just getting on to the curve, why on earth would he want you to stop feeding her at night?  She's likely to drop right back off that curve again.

I really, really think you should seek another opinion.

I know you say you had horrible results sleeping with your son, but as you say, all kids are different.  You might give it a try with this one.  If you're on the rocking chair with her because she wants to be with you, you might both get some good sleep if you just bring her to bed with you.

She's probably still small enough for a basinette in your room though, if you wanted to try that route.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

He said she is ready to not be fed thru night because she is finally following the curve that all baby's follow, before she wasn't but she is 3 percentile for height and weight. She was born five pounds but induced for abdomine being too small, hence having to eat small increments frequently. I slept with my son and had horrible results. All kids are different. 



piwife
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Umm do you think she is ready. If my son's doctor told me no to nurse thru the night. That doctor would be fired. All babies are different. There is a magic number that baby's follow. If the doctor wants baby to gain weight how is limiting baby going to help? Think about it.. there is a reason why baby is still waking up to eat. Who knows your child better you or the doctor?


Quoting Camsmom101007:

He said she is ready to not be fed thru night because she is finally following the curve that all baby's follow, before she wasn't but she is 3 percentile for height and weight. She was born five pounds but induced for abdomine being too small, hence having to eat small increments frequently. I slept with my son and had horrible results. All kids are different. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:01 PM

BUMP!

ScarletRose4488
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:14 PM
3 moms liked this

First of all you are her mother and you know your daugher best.  Do not do something you beleive is wrong.  If you have concerns you need to get them addressed by someone qualified to answer them.   You can get a 2nd Opinion in what she needs. 

As for the sleep - personally I do not think that what you are doing now is healthy for either of you.  So if it is safe to let her cry and you are just having a hard time emotionally detaching ... then you need to consider how much of this is getting worsened by your behavior and emotions.  Let me clarify... a baby & especially a toddler can tell when you are upset.  SO if you are upset she is going to get upset.  So you need to have faith that she is going to be fine and let her have the chance to feel like she is fine.  Part of that is not running every time she makes a sound.  Get a baby monitor -- if need be with video -- and watch her from another room.

You also need to realize that by giving her exactly what she wants whenever she wants it she is missing out on learning to soothe herself, get quality sleep, feel emotional "safety" around her, learn independance, and patience.  Basically, if the only problem is your emotions and not her health / safety then you need to put your emotions aside to do what is best for your daughter. 

As far as how to do it..... I will be honest in that I put my kids in their cribs the night they came home from the hospital.  Including my son from NICU - I just got a video monitor.  Yes they needed to be fed.  But then they went right back into the crib.  If one is/was having a bad night I might sit in there but it is still them in their crib.  So that would be my first suggestion.  Put her in a crib and if you have to sit right next to it and put your fingers on the bars so she can touch you.  You can sing or read books.  But let her be in her crib and learn that this is ok.  

Of course you should have a bedtime routine that you do every night the same way.  You need to stick to that.  She will only learn that after book (or song, ect) she goes to bed if you actually put her to bed. 

Now, there is also the issue of her being 9 months old already.  Is she climbing yet?   You may need to do extra baby proofing and you really need to look at that.  This is all the more reason to let her get her bedtime routine now.   Pretty soon she will not be so easily confined to her bed and will therefore be that much harder to learn her bedtime routine. 

Good Luck!

Jen
~ I speak from the heart because the truth is always the best - even if you don't know it yet. ~
Camsmom101007
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you Jen, that's all I wanted was reassurance. She goes in her crib for naps and starts out in her crib at night after falling asleep in my arms (that goes for naps too) but like all of us humans she wakes up .......and sees she is in her crib and not in my arms and cries to get me back in there to hold her and this cycle goes and goes til I fall asleep w her in my arms for the rest of the night...accidentally! It's nothing but not wanting to be in her crib. And when I say thru the night I mean like five hours.....some people on here are thinking I'm going to not feed her for twelve hours, shut her bedroom door and say "best of luck" ! Not the case. However im not feeding into these people who are replying but not to the question. My whole family is suffering in different ways and yes it's my emotions holding me back. Because of how fragile she has been until now it pulls my heart strings to hear her cry. And when she cries or even yells from joy she coughs and sometimes gags and acts like she is choking which freaks me out but that's a whole diff post I guess!! Thank you and if you have more advice on crying it out let me know. By way I do have a video monitor that also goes off if she stops breathing ...lol...

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN