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It's always hard to choose the right path... so we ask what would you do?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:44 PM
  • 37 Replies

It hurts me to explain this, but I truly need advise.

I have been with the father of my 2 boys for 3 years going on Feb 14,  2013.

I've had so many good time with him and so many bad times. It's just the bad is really bad. I discovered in those years that he was a meth addict, he went to jail a couple of days before the birth of our 2nd son, jut 3 days before I went into labor, I have left him once before for a month, but things didn't go great being a single mom, I was on the edge of losing my job, which was the only support I had for a 2 year old and 3 month old, so I went back to him, it's actually only been 2 months since I went back to him, I thought he would change but he became worse, he still did drugs, and he became abusive. I don't know what to do anymore, I have a couple of choices, I can stay with him and hope he will change, I can quit my job and take my kids and leave to move in with my sister in another state, and start over again, or figure out a 3rd option?

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jers.
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Option two looks good to me.  It will put distance between you and him and get you some moral support from your sister.  Starting over again does not have to be a scary thing!

MissTacoBell
by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this
If daycare is the problem, look into public aid. In Ca you can get help with childcare if you make under a certain amount.

Or talk to your boss and explain. If the answer to your problem is still move to your sister, at least you tried. Most decent employers will give you some slack. I'm not positive, but you might qualify for FMLA. If you love him, do what you can to get him into a substance abuse program inpatient. Fmla won't pay you all your wages, but it will some.

Good luck!
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tlcory
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:57 PM

Move in with your sister and have a fresh start! Good Luck!

kali_mom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:02 PM
4 moms liked this
If you have family that can and are willing to help, take the help and don't look back. Get on with building the best life for you and your children.
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kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:09 PM

This!! 

Quoting kali_mom:

If you have family that can and are willing to help, take the help and don't look back. Get on with building the best life for you and your children.

 I think this is the best advice. You need a fresh start and the only way to do that is to move away. And if you have family that is willing to be there for you and help, then you should jump on it. Even if the help is temporary, it will give you time to get started with making a new life for yourself and your children.  

ThinkAgainMom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:10 PM

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  He will NOT change, no matter what he says.  Even if you can't leave him and move in with your sister for YOUR sake, do it for your sons.  You need support with those little ones and if she is willing, take her help.

When you get to her town, go to Alanon. It is FREE meetings for people who are in a relationship with an addict. Seeing and hearing that other people have had the same problems will make you feel better, and help you build confidence that you have done the right thing!  Best wishes for you and your boys.

 

mamalatanya
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:14 PM

you can get subsidy help with daycare and food.. i think no matter what one isnt a healthy option for you are your kids

heartfelt3
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Lady move on,he's not gonna change.Pray about it,pack your shit and move around.Gpd will take care of you and those babies,some people can't be saved nor wanna change,all you can do for him is pray for them.Sometimes God remove people from your life for a reason,because he was something better in store for your life,trust him,you gonna be alright.It only gonna get worst if you don't and he don't care about them babies,he's putting them in danger smoking that shit,if around u and them,that shit will blow up your home,yes leave his ass,mercely love company he done screwed up his life now wanna mess up yours and the kids....hell No,its time for you to move around.
frstldyhmsch
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:25 PM

I'm sorry hunnie. I would suggest that you go be with your sister. It may be hard to leave because I know you love him, but placing the distance between you & him will cause him to realize the fruit of his actions. Also your kids lives and moral outlook are at stake. Kids are so pliable! The last thing you want is your kids growing up being abused mentally & physically by their addict father. The distance will keep the view of their father pure so that when & if he decides to get clean the kids welcome him with love, not the very opposite. Also, being with your sister will keep you strong in the process...sometimes we need someone there to tell us "no".  You've gotta do what you gotta do for the safety & well being of your and your precious babies. Good luck hunnie and make sure you keep us updated. 


atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Get away from him.
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