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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

2nd Birthday? maybe not so much.

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:45 AM
  • 9 Replies

My daughter is now 19 months and I like to plan ahead with her birthday. Last year I started 6 months away. This year was the same...Until this morning. When asking my mother advice about when my daughter's big day should be and I was informed that my family had decided (without my input or consent) that since our family has so many birthdays between June and July that we would all just have one big party for EVERYBODY, thus avoiding a party every few weeks. I understand it cuts the cost of food and decorations and it makes sense. Kind of.

Here's the thing though. All of their kids are over the age of 5. They have each had their own Big Special day, at least once a year (more if you include when they have friend parties and family parties) up until now. My daughter is only turning 2, and excuse me if I feel the second birthday should be just as special as the first (if only a little less people attending). I don't want to take pictures of her at a shared cake with kids who can't be around my toddler for longer than 20 minutes without getting mad and yelling at her, or trying to pick her up and hold her (she's the size of a three year old at this point, so half the size of most the other kids who will be at the party), or getting knocked over because of all their rough housing.

Furthermore, we're FAMILY! Shouldn't we WANT to see each other more often when the chance presents itself? or is that just me? I know that it gets to be annoying being around people that can drive you insane for long periods of time, but no one is FORCING you to stay the whole time. I don't even care about presents. I like to see my family. But that's another thing. How are all these people going to buy all of those presents at same time with no time in between. It'll be like Christmas, except this past Christmas we did secret Santa...

Am I totally wrong? Am I over-reacting? I had a theme picked out and EVERYthing. She's too young to have a party with friends and she only has one friend anyway. But is the second party really NOT supposed to be as special as the first one? Am I like completely off my rocker?

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:45 AM
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Replies (1-9):
MJP76
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:52 AM

IMO, the 1st and second, sometimes even the 3rd birthdays are more for the parents rather than the kids.. At that age the kids really don't care. They don't even fully recognize what's going on. We didn't start having "parties" until our kids were 4. For the first couple of years it was a homemade cake, a few presents and We's sing... Then end.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM
I am not for big parties. First bday one set of grandparents came. That was it. Kids don't care. 2 year olds don't care. Sounds like it is you that wants a big to do. I see nothing wrong with a huge party for everyone. Get her a cake so she has her own and be done. Just have the big party.
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aurora.dove
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:21 PM
I would say no, sorry I've already purchased her supplies and budgeted for her party. she will have a separate one. I'm not big on family members having parties together with the exception of twins. I happen to think every kiddo should be special enough to have their own celebration.
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LucyHarper
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:25 PM

I would do the group party as a family party and just have a small party with her friends and close family on her actual birthday. In my opinion, at two they really don't remember much and won't really be able to get into a big party, I think the later birthdays, like 5-10, are more important to make memorable. 

brittany208
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:27 PM

In my husband's family they celebrate birthdays up until a certain age. At two, yes, they should want to come to a small party. your immediate families at least (maybe not aunts and uncles you aren't close to)

JTE11
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:37 PM

Well then I'd just say that they can go ahead and have one big party for the older kids but you are still going to have a separate party for your LO, and if they don't want to attend they don't have to. They can't just sit down without you and make decisions for you about what kind of party you can have for your LO, you can do what you want. The only caution I have is to not get upset if they don't want to come. Invite them but have no expectations or you'll just get upset when they don't come. Invite friends too so that at least someone will come. They had incredibly bad taste to do that and just 'inform' you like that. So do what you want, invite everyone, but don't get mad if they don't come. You just have a fun time with the peple who are there and let it go.

KawaiiLila
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:01 PM
I want to thank everyone for their input. I'd also like to clarrify that I was not talking about a big party for my dd, just one for only her. I still don't know what I am going to do, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. I might do a even smaller party than I had expected to have to do, order a pizza and leave it at that. I just don't think it's fair that everyone in our extended family made this decision for us without even informing me. Nor do I think it's right to make her seem less important than their kids by making her the only one to have to share her second birthday. If it were a sibling I'd understand, but they're all 1st and 2nd cousins. But anyway thank you all again. It's been nice to see different povs.
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emmy526
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this

If that were my family, i'd still have a separate party for my dd anyways, and still go to the big one too...my kid WILL have her special day with mom and dad all to herself without having to share it. 

-PB
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 5:16 PM

 I think b-day parties for tots are overrated.  They are not for the kid.  They are for the parents.  My dd is 3 and we haven't done any parties big parties yet. 

But with that being said...to each their own.  If you want your kid to have a party then have at it.  Tell your family that you prefer a separate party for your little one. 

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