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Update #3 : is my husband cheating or im just over reacting... - he did CHEAT!!!

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 5:34 AM
  • 89 Replies

My husband is in Qatar right now. he's been there since last year - september 2012. Just this month, someone called me and the number registered in my phone is from Qatar, she's a girl and asking me what's my relationship with my husband, i did not answer her question but rather asked her "who are you? , she replied : " just answer my question" , but then again, i asked her  again "who are you?" . she just listened to my voice, never answered my question and just hang up. no phone etiquette... she never even introduced herself nor say hi /hello , etc. she just automatically asked me...

i was so upset... i called my husband and confronted him about it .he said, she's his coworker he met during their company outing last november , they had talks with groups , since the girl is of the same nationality , they been sharing thoughts about life , family and such on that "day" , he said, the girl even asked for my number saying she wants to know me and wanted me to be her friend and as per him, never thought of anything, he just gave my number to her then...

i don't know, im confused. he's still the same as before, he calls me up everyday , we talked everyday via long distance call (phone call- 3-10 min call) but because of that incident, i felt like there's something going on in there. 

i just need to know, do i have to worry about it? or just not mind it at all.

thanks everyone for the replies, i dont know how to answer your queries one by one so i figured out ill update my post instead:

Update : Oh, im 29 yrs old, my husband's 30. weve been girlfriend-boyfriend for 8 yrs since college, and married for a yr.we've been in this LONG DISTANCE Relationship since 2007,  the girl on that call is 39 yrs old working as secretary on one of the branches of their company.

my husband  just got hired to work in Qatar last September and as per his contract, he's allowed to go home annually... So he's just almost 6mos there... I did call the number but to no avail, she wouldnt answer me...that puzzles me alot. Im 27 weeks pregnant today to add up the situition and im trying not to upset myself for my baby.

Actually before , he worked in Saudi Arabia, so i guess since its a very strict country, i never experienced "other woman" stuff and all,but when he moved to Qatar -this just happened.  

After i confronted my husband, i was soooo upset that i just cried all day, been trying to conceal my eyebags with makeup and pretended to be ok on my workplace.  He kept on calling after that assuring me that he never had any affair in there... that he only saw that girl once during their company outing and that girl is located far from his office (their company has i guess 3 branches and a site office where he is assigned). Still, it  bugged me : "why would this girl would spent her money for a long-distance call just to ask me about him? " 

During our phone confrontation, I even said to him " what if, ill met a guy here, and tell our story , then Ill give him, your number, then he'll call you as what the girl did to me? how will you react to that? " he was silent for seconds and then later apologized for not thinking things would turn out that way...He said, he did not thought that girl would do such thing, but he told me that he will not / never confront that girl about the incident anymore out of respect that shes a girl, he'll just avoid her instead and pretend that he has no idea about what she did but will be watchful on his actions towards her. 

 I dont know what to believe in now. 


Hi everyone, this is my update. (06/25/13)

Im out of words, i cant express well my situition now on full details but ill make it short for you guys to comprehend. 

I just got back from gaving birth to my baby boy last May 21, 2013. the girl i mentioned above was still bugging so i decided to reply on her txt, she sent me proof on my fb that she and my husband are having an affair. I was really devastated when i saw it. all my husbands txt msgs to her saying  "i love you, cant live without you, you're my life, i miss you voice and all sweet word"  really pained me. It was June 16 that i confirmed all my instincts were true, that my HUSBAND IS CHEATING!!!

they had started their relationship last november 2012 and i was pregnant. all along, i was so trusting to my husband that hes not cheating coz im pregnant and yet i was fooled. 

I confronted him, told him that i received all the proof from the girl and still the girl bugs me even i just gave birth. He did not deny it and been asking forgiveness and last chance.  up until now, hes been calling, txting me for another chance but i did not reply. im really in pain now. what hurts me most, he cheated when i was pregnant, he never stopped their relationship even he knew the girl is bugging me since january. they just ended their relationship this month of june. imagine how long theyve been together? November 2012- June 2013? 

I cant sleep, i always think of what theyve been doing from november - june. how may times theyre having sex, are they doing what we used to do. im really stressed out. I broke up with him last June 17 after finding out that hed been cheating on since november. He's been telling me that the girl wants to get even by bugging me and so i would definitely broke up with him. i dont know, til now, i really hate him. i hate him for 7 mos he was pretending hes not cheating in there, he calls everyday, txt me everyday but at the same time seeing that girl. the girl even said that they are living in together in qatar, but he kept on denying saying theyre not living in together, they just see each other every thu- and fri. 

any advice? do you think i should give him another chance? Forgive and forget?



by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 5:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tashroseyelias
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 5:56 AM
2 moms liked this

what is he doing over there?

Something is not right.. she called you and demanded you to answer her. If I were you, I would worry. Find out the entire truth.

je80ss
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:02 AM
Y don't u just call the # back?
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LaChat
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it's impossible for anyone outside of your marriage to answer this question for you. However, since adultery can be prosecuted (especially when it involves two people in the same unit or between ranks), it seems unlikely that both of them would be willing to take that chance.

You can read more about it here:

www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-11-16/why-military-is-held-to-higher-personal-standards.html

MrsMommyMiller
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:05 AM

Seems fishy to me. Do some digging.

RheaF
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this
I would call the number back. Something doesn't seem right.
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Lurion
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:45 AM

Sorry but wake up and smell the coffee! There are plenty of men he could share thoughts about life and family with. 

Would YOU ever call any number associated with any of your male colleagues and act like that? Makes absolutely no sense. She obviously feels entitled and thinks he's hers. 





A.J.s_mommy
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Call her back. Ask what her relationship is with your husband.
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Bmat
by Barb on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:27 AM
4 moms liked this

I don't get that you need to be worried from what you said. She may have designs on your husband, but he is your husband.  Now that she's called you, she knows that you exist, and maybe she'll back off. If it were my husband I'd probably mention the way the phone call went and that it was puzzling to you, so that assuming he is innocent he would be wary of this lady.  Continue to keep a connection with him by calling or skyping or whatever arrangement you have- writing,  having child talk with him, and so forth.

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM

I'm sorry, that doesn't sound right to me.

Brittanyk3
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:03 AM
3 moms liked this
something doesnt seem right. if she was calling to be friends with you she would have introduced herself and not even asked that question because from what your husband said she would already know you were his wife.
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