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is it just my DS or normal? (PIOG)

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:23 PM
  • 17 Replies


So I have been noticing my son doing inappropriate things to females. Examples: We have a roommate and he is constantly sitting on her, I've caught him hugging her and copping a feel.... does the same with his cousis. He tries to walk in while im changing, or showering. and hes always looking at females butts.. i mean im not sure how to talk to him about this or why he is doing it. he only watches netflex while hes in living room. there's no tv in his room. so hes not getting it from tv. Is this normal? and how am i suppose to approach him on it? also he walks around with his hands down his pants all the time (not playing with himself or anything) hes almost six. my SO says its cuz hes a boy, but i find that a lil weird. any advice?

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:33 PM
4 moms liked this

Some of that is normal but everyone needs to set boundaries about his behavior and SO needs to talk with him how to respect womens' bodies.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:32 PM


This

Quoting frndlyfn:

Some of that is normal but everyone needs to set boundaries about his behavior and SO needs to talk with him how to respect womens' bodies.



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DaniandTom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Yep. Time for a talk!

marisab
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:22 AM

how old is he?

thatgirl70
by Carin on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:29 AM

I agree with this.

Quoting frndlyfn:

Some of that is normal but everyone needs to set boundaries about his behavior and SO needs to talk with him how to respect womens' bodies.


LoreleiSieja
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:30 AM
2 moms liked this

This is not normal, and it is definitely time for a talk... but with love and patience.  Do not make him feel bad, or sinful, or dirty.  Just be calm, patient and kind - like the way you would explain to him why he has to brush his teeth every day, or why he needs to look both ways before he crosses the street.

He is curious, which is normal childish behavior.  It's a good thing to have a curious mind.  Curiousity leads to discovery- an excellent trait in a student.  THere seems to be a general lack of curiosity in many children in school today... but that's a different story.

Cover this in several small talks, rather than a big one, because he's got a short attention span, and you don't want him to feel like he's in trouble.

First, cover his touching himself, and putting his hands down his pants.  This can take just a few minutes.  Tell him that we do not put our hands down our pants, period.  You don't have to give him a lengthy discussion why.  Whenever you see him do this, have him stop what he is doing and go wash his hands.  No punishment - just a fact.  We wash our hands after using the toilet, and so we wash our hands whenever our hands go down there.  He'll stop doing this, because washing his hands is interrupting his life.

If he needs to know more about the hands in the pants issue, point out that it is just not something people do.  Let him watch other men and boys when you are out together.  None of them have their hands in their pants (we hope!).  If he has a bad itch, or pain, then it may be time to see the doctor about it.  It is like picking the nose - we just don't do it.  And if your child is a nose-picker, have him wash his hands every time you see him do it.

In a second session, talk to him about women.  Teach him the words for a woman's body parts that you want him to use.  They are called breasts in many homes, but some people are okay with boobies.  Tell him that it is not right to touch a woman on the breasts.  This is something only husbands and wives do to each other.  (or couples in a relationship).  It is not nice for little boys to touch women there, it will hurt their feelings.  Think about how you want to explain it to him in terms he can understand.

If he is very curious, you might consider getting a book with pictures from a library, to teach him about men and women... just the differences in how they look, not the whole intercourse story.  It's possible that your boy walked in on something he shouldn't have seen - either between you and your SO, or at a friend's house.  He's very curious, and doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about it.  It is very important that he learn NOW that he can talk to you about anything.  So prepare yourself to be calm and loving and supportive before you approach him.  

Good luck!

http://raisingcreativechildren.com/nail-biting/


Kimbunny
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:02 AM

I have a 7 yr old and he has always had his hands down his pants even since he was a newborn lol!!!  He always slept with his hands in his pants and is always touching his willy :( I have asked him why he has his hands down there so much, and his answer was that it feels better long instead of short!!  I was shocked and I still don't know what to say lol.  If I was you, I might ask the pediatrician if there is any way to go about talking to him about it.  When I asked my pediatrician, he basically said that he's just exploring and soon enough he will realize it's not appropriate to touch himself in front of people.  I don't know, but I hope it at least helped for you to know that you are not alone on this...

hEiDiMaRiE25
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:13 AM

I have been thinking about this post. I realized i left out a important part, that might be contributing to the hands down the pants. So when he was circumcised, they botched it. now his skin is attached to his head. He is getting it fixed over the summer. think im just procrastinating it because im so nerves for him to go under again (ear tubes when he was a baby) and i know he will be in pain, and nothing i can do to ease the pain. anyway i was thinking maybe this is the reason why. I asked him last night, and he said he didnt know why he does it.

AshleyAlteman
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:51 AM

It is completely normal. Explain to him the meaning of privacy and PRIVATE parts. They dont understand. It is all curiousity. Just explain those top to parts (private and privacy) and he will get it :)

nicoleg806
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:58 AM

 Besides having your SO talk to him about respecting women I think the rest is normal.

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