Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

do you take being a godparent seriously?

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM
  • 5 Replies

 i don't have godparents and neither do i have godparents for my daughter. i've always thought godparents were in place so if something happened to you and/or your spouse they were there to take care of your child.

my best friend is pregnant and is expecting her soon. she asked me to be a godparent to her. problem is she has always bragged about her godparents acting as a second pair of parents to her. showering her with lots of affection, gifts, taking her places, etc. and she would love to have that for her daughter.

i don't mind being a godparent and being their for her and her daughter but basically taking on another child (gifts, taking her with us, etc.) is a little much. not only can i not afford another child but don't won't one.

how do i tell her no i wouldn't be a good choice without hurting her feelings? it wasn't an issue when my daughter was born. it's something my family and my in-laws don't have (godparents) so it was never brought up.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
LeetjieJ
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Say exactly that: That it is not something you have experience of and so you feel unequal to the role.
I have 2 godchildren & I took my role very seriously - the understanding was that I would be the guardian if anything happened to the parents. That is also why I stopped at 2 - would not be able to afford more - so I have said no to people & they always seemed to appreciate that I had thought about the request and had not just said no as a gut reaction. Point out that not being a godparent does not stop the child from being special to you & does not stop you from being involved in their life.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
starr377
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:43 PM

 thank you i'll do that.

luvemboth
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:43 PM
Originally, a godparent's role was to help teach the child about God & their religion, especially if the parents were to die before the child was of age. Through time, most have changed this role to simply be the guardian, should the parent die. I'd ask her what a godparent means to her and ask her what she's expecting from her dd's godparents, then just be truthful with her if you feel you need to turn it down.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aimesnyc
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:53 PM

I take it seriously in the view that you will take care of the child(ren) should the parents pass.  Which is why my feelings were hurt when my sister chose her sister in law (who has since proven to be financially irresponsible) and when my BIL/SIL chose my SIL's best friend and her brother (who are not a couple and have no experience with children).

I'm not sure why my BIL/SIL chose who they did, but my sister and her husband chose his sister because of location (I live in another state).  However, my husband and I decided to still choose my sister and her husband to be the godparents, as we feel that they would be able physically and financially to take care of our son should the worse happen.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

MrsJoe125
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 This.


Quoting luvemboth:

Originally, a godparent's role was to help teach the child about God & their religion, especially if the parents were to die before the child was of age. Through time, most have changed this role to simply be the guardian, should the parent die. I'd ask her what a godparent means to her and ask her what she's expecting from her dd's godparents, then just be truthful with her if you feel you need to turn it down.


 I had godparents; they were aunts, uncles, best friends of my parents.  I never even met my godmother.  The child has 1 godparent of their gender and 2 of the opposite gender.  My godmother was a friend of my mother's, but I never met her; I think she moved not long after I was born.  My dad's brother was one of my godfathers, he gave me gifts the same as he gave gifts to the other five children of that generation in my dad's parent's family, nothing extraordinary or different.  My dad's friend was my other godfather and I barely remember that we'd go over to his house for my dad to hang out with him and their other friend, but I don't remember meeting him until I was about ten.  Even then, it wasn't a big deal that he was my godfather.  I don't know what would have happened if my parents had died, but I never got (nor did any of my siblings or cousins) any special treatment from our godparents.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)