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Dentist and parents...

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:36 PM
  • 32 Replies

 To make a long story short, my step daughter was raped, sodomized and sexually abused by her dad (my ex husband now) while we were married.  We both are leery of new people and places because of the past events.  We moved to a different state, and his new dentist office has a police where parents aren't allowed to bring children to their appointments (not sure I like it, but it's understandable) and they don't allow parents to go in with a child over the age of 3. I talked to my neighbor, and apparently it's standard procedure here.  When they called my son's name, I got up to go with him, and they informed me that parents weren't allowed to go in with children over 3.   It was the 1st time we had been to the new dentist, and I wasn't told about this prior to the visit so I had a momentary 'freak out' and said "oh no!" I did get to go in with him, but they said I wouldn't be able to be in the room with him if he needed work done. I didn't say anything, but he didn't need work done so all was well. Do you think I was a little over protective?  Ever since my step daughter was raped by her dad, I feel like you can never be too careful concerning child predators, escpecially in new places and around new people.  Does anyone else's dentist (or doctor's office) have a police like this?  What do you think of it?  I think they need to be more sensitive to families that are there for their 1st time and may have had things happen like we have in the past.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:36 PM
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:53 PM


by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:55 PM

I dont think your being over protective, I would not let my children go into the dentist alone unless they were comfortable with it. I say unless they were comfortable with it because when my children go to the dentist for cleanings (no work has had to be done yet) my ds10 goes back alone because he doesnt mind and I go back with my dd8 because she wouldnt have it any other way and I go back and forth between the rooms to check on my ds but mostly stay with my dd. I have heard that alot of dentists have this policy but our dentist does not and I would not go to a dentist that did not allow me to go back with them.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:57 PM
I will NEVER allow my child to go to a dentist where I was not allowed to accompany him. Keep looking around mama there are plenty of places that allow you back.
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:59 PM

Thanks ladies!  My boyfriend said he sees where I'm coming from, but he thinks I'm being overprotective.  And my neighbor just thought I was silly... that's ok though, I feel like at 6 he still needs to be protected

by Inga on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Our dentist in WI was like that and the first dentist we took the kids to here in AZ had that same policy.

I can certainly understand your hesitacy, but not every place is going to be unsafe. While you don't want her getting hurt again (of course!), you also need to be careful that you don't make the world an even scarier place than it has to be either.
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:01 PM

my children's dentist encourages me to come back with my kids. I always go back with my youngest (he's 4), but my other kids (12 1/2 and 11) go back alone and I will just check in with them.

by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:06 PM
This is becoming more and more common. My dd's dentist (who I personally have been going to for 15 years) explained it to me like this. When parents are there, children will usually look to their parents for to protect them and make the dentist stop. If the parent is not there, they self soothe and will look for their own courage.
When my dd had to get a cavity filled (she was 5) I walked back there with her and said I had to go get her prize for being a good girl and I would right back.
I then stood just outside the work area where she could not see me.
My only thought is right now don't worry about the "getting work done" part until you need to, and should that day come request if you can stand outside the room with your child in sight.
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by Carin on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:07 PM

I personally would continue searching for another dentist that will allow the parents to go back. Your friend might not know of any, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.

I'm sorry for what happened to your stepdaughter.

by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:19 PM
I would never take my child to anyone with that policy or maybe yall are forgetting the Pediatricanvwho got away with it for 20 years because for some reason adults refuse to protect their children when it comes to those they see as authority. My DD goes to a Pediatric Dentist and there is a chair in the corner of every h open procedure room for the parent to sit as it should be. Riduclious so many hand over their babies like that
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:20 PM
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I would continue to search.
If I can't go back, they don't go back. I will not allow my children to go with strangers I see maybe 15 minutes twice a year.

Yes It's starting to become standard policy but if you say o.k. well have a nice day then, "child name" get your coat. They usually let you because It's money out of there pockets, if you leave.

My old neighbor worked for a pediatric dentist, told me don't allow your children to go back alone.
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