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Dirty Diaper Drop Off in Childcare Question.... Is this Normal?

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:06 PM
  • 60 Replies

About me- I have been providing in home childcare for 6 years. Most of the children I have cared for in the past have started with me at 6 weeks and stay with me until 3-4 years old. I have only had to stop caring for one child due to issues with the parents. I have 2 children of my own (7 and 3.5).

So my question is this- have you ever had a child you were caring for dropped off with a sopping wet, bearly hanging on night time wet diaper? If you are a parent- you know what a night time diaper looks and smells like in the morning. The child is dropped off after 8:00 a.m. and has had breakfast. I tell you this so you know the child wasn't just woken up and brought to me. You would feel this diaper when you picked up the child and put the child in the car seat as well. Parents are always well put together hair/makeup/nice clothes. Not something thrown on to get to work.

When I asked the mom after 2 days of the same issue( in the nicest way possible), if she would make sure that the child was in a fresh diaper when he was dropped off, she got offended. Huffy is a good word. Told me that she was sure he had been changed. Again- most people know what a night time diaper is like. Both days I had to wash his clothes because they were wet with pee. Second day (same clothes on) smelled horrible like pee. I am not good with people that lie, there is no reason to. I can see it being embarrassing, yes.

So then the child is dropped off the next day- clean diaper- and nothing is said. Pickup time comes and the father shows up. Wants to talk. Tells me that he and his wife will not be told how to parent his child. I asked to have a dry diaper on the child. This is my childcare business. Your child should come to me ready for the day. Common sense tells you to change your child.... He is really trying to be intimidating to me and my husband. Thank God my husband was home. He also made a comment about me saying something about his child's face. When the child was dropped of- I was in a good mood and the child had breakfast on his face, I said "oh look at your face! breakfast must have been good!" Do you think this is telling you how to be a parent either?

On the other foot- they have lied to me about being married- I could really care less, other than the fact that I found out via them online that they are engaged. They both wear rings. But when you sit on my couch and tell me that you are a Christian man and trying to raise your child in faith, but will lie to me about being married, that tells me you will lie about a wet diaper. If you can lie with a straight face about being married- Holy in the Bible married, you will lie about anything. Why lie? If you're not married it's not a deal killer in my book. Makes me wonder if everyone at Church have been told they are married as well.

I am going to terminate the childcare service with them today. Just wondering thoughts on the whole situation with the dirty night time diaper and lying. Also- it should be known that the child has been thru 4 childcare providers in less than 18 months. I'm guessing someone else didn't want to deal with them either because the child is great- one of the best I have ever kept.

Thanks for your reponses!

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:06 PM
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by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:13 PM
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It is your responsibility as a provider to make sure the child is well taken care of. Yes this is something they need to do and you have the right to say something. I am sure you are not the only one that has said something.

Times like this are so hard as a child care provider. I have had and still deal with this.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:18 PM

Thanks for the response! I have tried to make contact with the family to let them know I would no longer be available for childcare and they won't return my call. Sad when you care for such a sweet baby, but can't handle the parents. I know she is already looking for a new provider- I found her post. Just be a grown up already and answer your phone so you can get the child's things! Crazy people.

by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:24 PM

Maybe they are legally married but they haven't let their friends and family know yet?  My husband and I did that.  We had to get married for legal purposes and the actual ceremony wasn't until almost a year later.  We didn't make it known that we were already married legally.

I've never been a childcare provider, so I don't know how everything quite works on that end.  I do have my child in a home daycare, though.  I know that my DCP lies to me from time to time, but that doesn't make me take my son away from her care.  What I'm saying is - why is one thing that might not be a lie and two days of a wet diaper enough for you to stop taking care of "the best you ever kept?"  It sounds like you care for the kids you watch, so why should the child suffer and have to be placed in yet another daycare because you have an issue with the parents?  I say give it some time before you terminate the service.  See if anything else happens - good or bad.  They could have had two crazy mornings (we all have those).  Maybe Dad got up with the baby that day, forgot to change him, and didn't tell his wife so that he didn't get in trouble with her?  There are so many maybes here...

by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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I would definitely terminate their service, effective immediately. The diaper is gross, bad, and should be asked about- but the father coming over and trying to intimidate you is inexcusable. When they show up next time to drop him off, or pick him up, make sure to let them know what their outstanding bill is, ask that it be paid in full immediately, and then let them know that the fathers behavior of trying to be physically and emotionally intimidating is not going to be tolerated, and that your service is no longer going to have them on as a client. 

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Do you feel the hold is being neglected due to the diaper? That kinda thing can cause rashes And infections. Maybe call cops if it was as bad as I imagine it could have been. Idk though, because to be honest I feel so bad for kids who's parents are more concerned with themselves.
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by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:39 PM

Thanks for your reply. First off, my point of view is, if you sit on my couch in my home and tell me that you are a Christian man, why lie about being married? Why wouldn't you tell people the truth? Because you had a baby out of wedlock? Not that uncommon these days. Like I said- not good with liars. My mom lied to me about having Cancer- as in I have cancer, when she did not, several months ago. So basically I have a no bs policy on lying. Just the way it is. As for why would I want to stop caring for a good kid....I don't need the daily drama of the parents. I don't care for children to pay my bills. It's extra income for savings. Not a have to have job. And no, it isn't the child's fault in anyway.

What does your childcare provider lie to you about? I tell my parent straight up how things are each day. Little lies turn into big lies and who needs that. Again thanks for you reply.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Thanks for the reponse- I have tried to call the mom and let her know, but she won't pick up the phone. I am always paid up front for the week, so no issues there. Lesson learned a loooonnnggg time ago. I just want them to come get the child's things and be done with it!

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:46 PM
My son at 18mo would wake up damp and then an hour or so later would let loose and br dripping wet.
Not implausible that they have changed him. But if that were the case they should know that.
Sounds like there may be other issues
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by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:49 PM

There is no way that they could have missed these diapers. The smell alone was a give away. Even if they might have changed the child they would have noticed it getting him out of the car seat at drop off. At that point you say "hey I think he just wet his diaper and needs to be changed" or hey I noticed his clothes are wet- not damp- wet.  Just saying.

by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:50 PM
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 I would have a problem with that too.  Not so much the marriage thing but the wet child and getting pissy over you saying something about it.  Did you tell her the child's clothes were soaked in pee?  That's pretty ridiculous.  I could see if the child peed in the car on the way over but you can certainly tell when a child is still wearing the diaper from last night and there clothes are soaked that there is some neglect going on. 

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