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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Feeling deflated and confused today...

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:25 AM
  • 8 Replies

 

I'm missing the relationship that I used to have with my oldest daughter.  She used to care about family.  It has always been her and me, before I had my youngest daughter. 

She is still being disrespectful and lies to me all the time...she was supposed to be moving back home to get back on her feet, but really, all she wanted me to do was finance her.

She never comes home...I don't know where she is even as I type this post.  It's scary.  I have nightmares and lose a lot of sleep.

Then to top it all off, my boyfriend of 5 years saw me the day before V day without any  notice...sweet?  Maybe not...he brought me flowers and spent some time with me...

The next morning, he tells me that he is a chaperone at his daughter's school dance...for Vday...O.K., that would have been alright, I would have liked for him to talk to me about it...I had a romantic dinner planned.

But he didn't, and this is not the first time he has made plans that affect us...However, I was like...it's for his daughter...that is sweet...maybe not...

She did not attend the dance.  Apparently, he volunteered to chaperone a Valentine's Day dance at his daughter's school...and his daughter was not in attendance...

So, any plans that I had for us...gone, and he would rather spend it with middle school kids that he didn't know and the PTA....why?

Between my boyfriend and my oldest daughter, I am going crazy and feeling truly depressed today...

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:25 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Reina13
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Im sorry you have hit a rough patch in your realtionship with your oldest daughter. As hard as it is, sometimes you just have to let go. Of course you love her and worry about her, but the constant worry is not good for you either.


Bleacheddecay
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:57 AM

*HUGS* Time to discus some rules and guidelines with both your oldest girl and your bf.

In the meantime do something nice for you, a good book, a nice relaxing bath, whatever it is that you enjoy.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I'm sorry for your trouble, some kids take longer than others to grow up. Personally I would demand a call or text if she's not coming home so you don't have to worry. I would also charge some rent unless she's in college. People treat us the way we allow them to, your boyfriend included, tell him you were disappointed and not to do that again. Hugs mama!

amonkeymom
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

hugs  I'm sorry your valentine's weekend hasn't turned out the way you'd hoped.

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:19 PM
1 mom liked this

(HUGS) Hope it gets better for you!

blogginprincess
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:25 PM

No the worry is not good for me...I began and am still struggilng with nightmares...I am going to take some time off and ask her to stay with her friend and only when she is ready to sit down and discuss with me, like an adult, what her goals are and how she sees me, will I allow her back...I think it is time for some tough love...

blogginprincess
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:27 PM

Thank you for the HUGS...just to know that someone else understands helps a lot...

Some rules, and guidelines are being drafted...

I have been working out and practicing for a tournament that is coming up on March 2nd.  It is a pretty big deal, I have been distracted for the past 2 weeks, and I think that I will re-focus on this...I'm always happy when I get to swing my sword....

Thank you for your time and suggestions...

TinaWP

blogginprincess
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:30 PM

 

Wow!  You put it in a nutshell...I was going to charge her rent...also, she fell out of college and her loans are now on my credit (as her cosignor)...

Unfortunately, she recently lost her job (need I say due to her not respecting authority), she found another working as a server at Uno's (Washington, DC), which she will begin on Wednesday...I'm hopeful that she will do the right thing and begin to pay me immediately...

Otherwise, rules and an agreement are being drawn up...she will have to sign in order to stay home...

Thank you for your time and suggestions...I'm new to this, but I will get into a rhythm and help others soon...

TinaWP

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