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If you choose not to BF, and your child gets a disease that could have been prevented ...

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I'm not bashing anyone, or trying to cause fights, so lets respect each other's answers... I would just like a conversation started  where people share their thoughts and opinions on this topic...

I'll start out by saying this: My father was bottle fed after he got really ill, almost died, and the shock to my grandmother's system made her dry up. I was bottle fed too and so was my sibling. However I choose to BF my LO because I feel that I can protect her against diseases like diabetes, acute appendicitis, rheumatoid arthritis, inguinal hernia and ploric stenosis, to name a few.

So my question is this: If you choose not to BF and in 10, 20, 30, 40 years your DD or DS got diagnosed with an illness that is life changing, would you like to turn back the years and BF as it would reduce your child's risk to this disease or do you think your child won't get it, or do you think your child will get it no matter what you do today?


Edit:

Firstly I would like to thank everyone that shared their stories. I'm sorry to hear about so many children that is affected by diabetes. I chose diabetes as an example because I was diagnosed with GD that didn't go away and stayed after my daughter was born. There is no family history of diabetes, across family where my grandfather was one of 18 children and my other grandfather one of 11, so I have a huge family. I'm not overweight. I've always eaten healthy food, loved salad and vegetables  etc and yet, now I'm diabetic. 

So my reason for asking was not to make people feel like their parenting choices were bad or that breastfeeding is better or to make moms feel like failures or that they should blame themselves. I'm trying to figure out WHAT on earth LED to MY illness. As a mom I would most definitely go back and redo something I did wrong if I had the means to do so. We all do our best, but we all want a do over.

The illnesses that I quoted in my original question was what I researched on the web. Not something I sucked out of my thumb. And just to clarify AGAIN, I'm not accusing anybody. I was ff. I read a lot of interesting answers that made me think. I need people to challenge my thoughts so that I can push myself further into trying to understand this condition. BECAUSE I AM DIABETIC, my child has a risk of being diabetic. I'm allowed to ask questions without having to be insulted. Trust me if I wanted to insult mothers, you would know about it.

I do believe that breastfeeding reduces your child's risk to these diseases and others thats not mentioned. I don't however said that it would PREVENT them from getting it. So please don't misquote me.


by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:18 AM
Replies (11-20):
stepconfused182
by Kelley on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:55 AM

 It's not saying BF prevents them. It's saying formula feeding causes/increases them. BF is the standard and everything else is just a comparison. That's what those statistics mean.

I agree that there is no reason to blame yourself and feel guilty for not BF. Everyone chooses to do things for a reason. No one should be ridiculed or looked down on for not BF. However, there are dozens of benefits to it and zero benefits of formula feeding. That's something that can't be argued.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I don't think breastfeeding prevents those things fully. Genetics and diet have a lot to do with those. 
So trying to blame yourself for that later on will only lead to more mommy guilt.  

 

Christine0813
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM

 You know exactly how this post is going to go down. Whether one chooses to BF or not, it will not prevent you from getting a disease. A person can't and shouldn't live on 'what ifs.'

I'm going on 40, and my mother formula fed me. Knock on wood, I'm very healthy. If I get sick, it isn't because she formula fed me.

 Breastfed and formula fed people can, and do get the same diseases.

MicheleJM
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM

You'd be stupid to think this way because so much in life is out of our control.  You can do everything right and your child can still get any one of a long list of horrific conditions.  Do the best you can TODAY, make the choices you feel are right and move on down the road.  Don't look back and say "if only I had done this or that" because it does no good and all it does is screw up your decision making for the present time.  Keep moving forward.

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

okay, but the post is saying "Would you blame yourself if your child got this?" 
Some people don't have a choice.
 I know what the benefits are to breast milk. I am a breastfeeding advocate. But will be formula feeding our babies, because I am not allowed to breast feed them or give them breast milk of any kind. 
If we adopt them, am I to feel guilty that I couldn't give them the best? No. This post could have been worded better, it is pretty much enforcing mommy guilt.  

Quoting stepconfused182:

 It's not saying BF prevents them. It's saying formula feeding causes/increases them. BF is the standard and everything else is just a comparison. That's what those statistics mean.

I agree that there is no reason to blame yourself and feel guilty for not BF. Everyone chooses to do things for a reason. No one should be ridiculed or looked down on for not BF. However, there are dozens of benefits to it and zero benefits of formula feeding. That's something that can't be argued.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I don't think breastfeeding prevents those things fully. Genetics and diet have a lot to do with those. 
So trying to blame yourself for that later on will only lead to more mommy guilt.  

 


ChancesMommy07
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I did breast feed and my son has Juvenile Rheumatoid arthritis. 

stepconfused182
by Kelley on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM

 Of course you shouldn't feel guilty. I remember your post now from awhile ago about having to formula feed your foster kids. I have a lot of respect for you. I think the point of this post was.... if you were ABLE to BF but chose not to, would you feel guilty later on if your child developed a disease that formula is known to increase the risk of.  A LOT of moms on here are extremely defensive when it comes to formula feeding and this leads me to believe a lot of it is guilt over not doing what's best for your child when you CAN. Thinking your supply is low because baby cries all the time, baby getting teeth, wanting baby to sleep all night so starting a heavy, cereal containing, slow digesting formula, going back to work... those are NOT valid reasons to HAVE TO  formula feed. In those cases the mom was either given misinformation or she simply didn't want to BF (which is 100% ok). Not legally being able to BF, having IGT, being knocked out in the ICU for weeks.... those ARE valid reasons you cannot BF.

I am NOT saying that anyone is wrong for their decision to formula feed. That is a personal decision but people who get offended by others advocating breastfeeding need to step back and think about why they get so offended.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

okay, but the post is saying "Would you blame yourself if your child got this?" 
Some people don't have a choice.
 I know what the benefits are to breast milk. I am a breastfeeding advocate. But will be formula feeding our babies, because I am not allowed to breast feed them or give them breast milk of any kind. 
If we adopt them, am I to feel guilty that I couldn't give them the best? No. This post could have been worded better, it is pretty much enforcing mommy guilt.  

Quoting stepconfused182:

 It's not saying BF prevents them. It's saying formula feeding causes/increases them. BF is the standard and everything else is just a comparison. That's what those statistics mean.

I agree that there is no reason to blame yourself and feel guilty for not BF. Everyone chooses to do things for a reason. No one should be ridiculed or looked down on for not BF. However, there are dozens of benefits to it and zero benefits of formula feeding. That's something that can't be argued.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I don't think breastfeeding prevents those things fully. Genetics and diet have a lot to do with those. 
So trying to blame yourself for that later on will only lead to more mommy guilt.  

 


 

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM

I think it is just the way the post is worded. 
But being a mom who highly advocates breastfeeding, being forced to use formula, it is an adjustment. I never automatically judged when I saw a mom feeding a baby formula, but I always wondered why. Now I feel guilty for even wondering why.  
I feel sorry for those moms who feel guilty for formula feeding.  Mom's get so much judgement as it is, being a crunchy mom I get a lot of looks and snide remarks from my amazing family, and from a few friends. 
Thankfully I have an awesome crunchy community that understands.
All in all, I just think that we, as breast feeding advocates, should put the information out there, and leave it. Not ask "Are you feeling guilty yet? How about now?Not yet? Here is another study, how about now?"
Just like car seats, put the information out there, and pray that they move in the right direction for their family.
I think that is why there is so much anger associated with formula vs. breast.  

Quoting stepconfused182:

 Of course you shouldn't feel guilty. I remember your post now from awhile ago about having to formula feed your foster kids. I have a lot of respect for you. I think the point of this post was.... if you were ABLE to BF but chose not to, would you feel guilty later on if your child developed a disease that formula is known to increase the risk of.  A LOT of moms on here are extremely defensive when it comes to formula feeding and this leads me to believe a lot of it is guilt over not doing what's best for your child when you CAN. Thinking your supply is low because baby cries all the time, baby getting teeth, wanting baby to sleep all night so starting a heavy, cereal containing, slow digesting formula, going back to work... those are NOT valid reasons to HAVE TO  formula feed. In those cases the mom was either given misinformation or she simply didn't want to BF (which is 100% ok). Not legally being able to BF, having IGT, being knocked out in the ICU for weeks.... those ARE valid reasons you cannot BF.

I am NOT saying that anyone is wrong for their decision to formula feed. That is a personal decision but people who get offended by others advocating breastfeeding need to step back and think about why they get so offended.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

okay, but the post is saying "Would you blame yourself if your child got this?" 
Some people don't have a choice.
 I know what the benefits are to breast milk. I am a breastfeeding advocate. But will be formula feeding our babies, because I am not allowed to breast feed them or give them breast milk of any kind. 
If we adopt them, am I to feel guilty that I couldn't give them the best? No. This post could have been worded better, it is pretty much enforcing mommy guilt.  

Quoting stepconfused182:

 It's not saying BF prevents them. It's saying formula feeding causes/increases them. BF is the standard and everything else is just a comparison. That's what those statistics mean.

I agree that there is no reason to blame yourself and feel guilty for not BF. Everyone chooses to do things for a reason. No one should be ridiculed or looked down on for not BF. However, there are dozens of benefits to it and zero benefits of formula feeding. That's something that can't be argued.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

I don't think breastfeeding prevents those things fully. Genetics and diet have a lot to do with those. 
So trying to blame yourself for that later on will only lead to more mommy guilt.  

 


 


Bmat
by Barb on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

I FF one because I followed the doctor's advice instead of my instincts. The second I BF. The BF son had many more ear infections. They are both healthy adults. 

As far as feeling guilty. A mom should make the best decisions she can and not tear herself apart if a decision turns out to not have been the best.

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:36 AM


Quoting Bmat:

I FF one because I followed the doctor's advice instead of my instincts. The second I BF. The BF son had many more ear infections. They are both healthy adults. 

As far as feeling guilty. A mom should make the best decisions she can and not tear herself apart if a decision turns out to not have been the best.

Exactly. 

-PB
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:37 AM

 Exactly.   I was breastfed, I have an autoimmune disease among other medical problems and I am sick all the time.  It really could go either way.

Quoting Christine0813:

 You know exactly how this post is going to go down. Whether one chooses to BF or not, it will not prevent you from getting a disease. A person can't and shouldn't live on 'what ifs.'

I'm going on 40, and my mother formula fed me. Knock on wood, I'm very healthy. If I get sick, it isn't because she formula fed me.

 Breastfed and formula fed people can, and do get the same diseases.

 

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