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Independent older children? HELP

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:24 PM
  • 24 Replies
How important is it that older children know how to do the things they do for themselves correctly such as hair brushing, bathing and etc? And how old should they start being being more independent with the mentioned above? When can I expect it to be done correctly? And do I criticize if its being done incorrectly? How then if I should? Help me!
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:33 PM

What age do you consider older?   DD has been brushing her own hair since about age 5.  I will help with hair clips or what not if she wants them in as well as any fly aways (think static hair).  Bathing we are still working on and she will be 7 next month.  I personally would not criticize but offer constructive advice on how it could go easier or better the next time the child attempts the life skill.  

When i am working with dd on how to bathe herself, I stand outside the bath tub and mimic the actions fully clothed.  If she does not get close enough to the spot we are working on, i guide her hand there.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:34 PM
1 mom liked this

PS  babycenter.com has alot of info on milestones of self care for different ages.

LucyHarper
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:36 PM

Yes, it's important. Kids need to learn how to do things on their own. They should be able to do those things on their own at around five, you should still be watching them in the tub, but they should be able to wash themselves and brush their hair. You don't criticize them if they do it wrong, you just calmly correct them and tell them how to fix it, and they will learn in time.

Rachelberres
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:48 PM
I had in mind like 5 and up until like preteen because I expect at that age they should be able to do things on their own without supervision for the most part. But what was rattling my brain to ask this was was me and my boyfriend went on vacation this weekend with his parents and his nine year old sister who can't brush the ends of her hair and has parents do it. Just frustrated the hell out of me since she will be ten next month.
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Did the parents seem frustrated with being asked to help with the hair?  Some parents do their child's hair through teenhood for particular styles.  Is the girls hair long and easily tangled?   I do not understand why you would let their actions affect you though since you are not the one in charge of daily care.


Quoting Rachelberres:

I had in mind like 5 and up until like preteen because I expect at that age they should be able to do things on their own without supervision for the most part. But what was rattling my brain to ask this was was me and my boyfriend went on vacation this weekend with his parents and his nine year old sister who can't brush the ends of her hair and has parents do it. Just frustrated the hell out of me since she will be ten next month.



Rachelberres
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:58 PM
Because I know how capable she is of taking care of herself. The parents do not seem to have an issue with it, but I feel like they're holding her back from her being independent as she should/could be.
sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:38 PM
2 moms liked this

 <<>>

They're holding her back from being independent because they're BRUSHING HER HAIR???  Well, then  I guess it's a miracle *my* daughter graduated HS,  graduated college cum laude, teaches HS, is Dept Head, supports her car, her own place, and 2 cats, because at 31.5 she STILL comes over and says, "Mommy, scratch my back" &  "Mommy, brush my hair".  And I do. 

 And exactly what business is it of yours anyway, what your bf's PARENTS do with their OTHER children??

 

 

erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:48 PM
WOW....I cant believe you said that out loud.

Quoting Rachelberres:

Because I know how capable she is of taking care of herself. The parents do not seem to have an issue with it, but I feel like they're holding her back from her being independent as she should/could be.
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MJP76
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:05 AM

LOL well, my youngest DS is 10 and I still have to remind him to brush his hair and teeth before he leaves the house...when he does these things he does them correctly... It's just such a pain every day to repeat myself.. I'd say, about 12/13 is when they start caring about these things.... That's when older DD and DS started to pay attention and care...

Sweet_Carol_126
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:12 AM

If you criticize all the time then they can lose confidence.  However, I think you should stop them and show them how to do it right as they need to learn. You can brush their hair for a long time and they can brush your hair as well.  Kids love that.  Teach them not to use someone else's brush or comb though.   As to beds, they will do better as they get older.  You might help them when you get started and comment on what needs to be done.  They can fold towels at a young age and wash cloths and maybe even underware.  They can set the table and can put away  silverware from the dishwasher.They can learn to put away their toys and put dirty clothes in a hamper.  from age of 3 or so.  Let them help you cook.  Kids love to help and let them when they want to do it as much as you can and then they will be willing to do it later on too.  Could have a chore list and let them choose some of their house chores as well as taking care of their own room (picking up and putting away).  Kids can do more than most people think they can.  As they get older you can give instruction again to have it done more correctly.  You can give them stars on completion on a chart and maybe even have a reward for doing so many things. 

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