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Disappointed and taking child out of daycare

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Hey mommas!! I posted something last night about my toddler who was excluded from his daycare party. I saw some pictures show up on my newsfeed that one of the parents and our daycare was tagged in saying Daycare social 2013!! He goes to an inhome daycare and she didnt invite us or mention it to us. She has invited us every other time and we have been with her for almost 4 years cause I have an older son. So even us going only one day a week is no reason to not invite us. She even went out of her way to block us from her status that reminded the daycare families about the party. I am pulling him out cause I think it is very unprofessional how she excluded our son and our family but invited the other families. If your a daycare owner and throw a daycare party you invite all or dont have it period. Here is my letter to her.

I am writing you this because I saw that you had a daycare social 2013 and for whatever reason you did not invite us or even mention anything to us about this. I found out through seeing on my facebook the tagged pictures of it. I am not sure why you would not invite Carter and our family to this party but yet you invited every other family and went out of your way to block us from your postings about it. This was very hurtful to our family. I don’t why you excluded us but we have been with you for almost 4 years and was welcome to every other daycare gathering. We find this unprofessional and are very disappointed. Carter will no longer be coming to your daycare. If you go out of your way to exclude us, we do not feel very welcomed.


Would you guys do the same? Or am I over reacting?

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:32 AM
Replies (51-60):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Are you overreacting?

Of course you are!

Especially since the party was on a day that your child did not normally attend!

Using the excuse that you have been invited every other year does not cut it. Were the parties held on your child's day? Did you attend even if they were not on your child's day?

What happened in the last 4 years has no bearing on this year. New year, new circumstances.

Another thought - if your name calling behavior with the other poster on this forum is any indication of your responses to people in the "real world", that could be one of the reasons she "blocked" you.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:46 AM
I'd say talk to her BUT I agree with you. She excluded your son and family without any thought. I'd be interested in the response as well
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:20 PM

Sounds to me like it's time for you/your son to move on.  I would make sure I had alternate care arranged BEFORE I spoke to her, but I would do the terminating in person.  I would strike the same tone your letter does, but I would tell  her that you were hurt (because I think that's really what the feeling is).  You thought, after 4 years and 2 kids that you had a good relationship.  (FYI - since you are the only PT client she has, it does occur to me that she may not want you socializing with other parents because she made a special exception for you that she does not want to make again.  But she could always say that to you directly.)  The sneaking would bother me.

I don't know why she didn't invite your family, but I wouldn't want to leave my young child with someone who I did not completely trust. Frankly, I never used a day care situation (other than family) where there was not at least 2 adults present.  One adult can do a lot of things that I wouldn't like with only little children present.

So I would suggest you try to find another social experience for your son.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:22 PM

I would want to know why she didn't invite you, but I am not sure I would pull the child out based on that alone.  Is he getting good care, being fed, nurtured etc etc. But I too would feel like she doesn't care about my child as much as the others and depending on her answer may just pull him out.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:35 PM

I was an in home day care provider. I would never exclude any child that came to me for care regardless of how many days a week the child attended. If they were in my care, they were invited. But I also would not assume she was slighting my child. Just talk to her and go based on her response and her care for your child.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:56 PM

I understand why you're upset. You feel like your child has been slighted, and there doesn't seem like you can find reasonable reason as to why. Have you actually spoken to her about it? Sat down with her or gotten her on the phone and asked why your son was the only child not invited and why she went to the trouble of blocking her feed from you. Ask her if there have been problems you aren't aware of. Maybe there is a reason and you just don't know it yet. I wouldn't send the letter until you have spoken to her first, but if you really feel like you have to, pull your son.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:00 PM

I probably wouldn't send that letter. I'd find other arrangements and if she asks for your reason then you can say something.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:01 PM

you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.  If you believe that complaining to the daycare provider will make you feel better about no invite, then plan on picking every fight through your daughters school years.  Pick your battles.  I just don't think this is one worth fighting.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:04 PM

I would also like to know how she responded. If she didn't include him in the party what else is she doing during daycare that he's not allowed to participate in? We are leaving our daycare this week as well. I'm over in home daycares.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:13 PM

 I can understand why you feel hurt but I would talk to her in person. 

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