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Newborn help! *Update*

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I'm having issues with my newborn son at night. During the day he's calm when he's awake, takes good naps, nurses well. At night he's always screaming, has a difficult time latching, and won't sleep without me or DH holding him. I want to avoid co-sleeping, but last night his best sleep was after feeding (we were both lying down) and I let him stay in bed next to me - slept 4 hours!



Any advice on how to adjust him into his crib, getting a better sleep schedule at night? Of course DH and I expect to wake up multiple times, but right now one of us is constantly awake!

Update:

http://www.target.com/p/summer-infant-by-your-side-sleeper/-/A-13680579#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=By+your+side+sleeper

So a friend of mine suggested that it could possibly be that his crib is too much of a big open space and suggested we try the sleeper I linked above - her son had this issue and there was a similar product that helped. Figured, couldn't hurt, let's try it! So far... Working!!! I actually had to wake him up to feed instead of visa versa!

Thank you ladies for all your help and advice! I really appreciate it!
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by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM
Replies (21-30):
brittany208
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:20 PM

 Do NOT co-sleep with a heavy sleeper! Read up on co-sleeping... baby is supposed to sleep next to momma only, not in between. and not if you drink/do any drugs/smoke/are on any medications.... theres a lot of things that have to be in place for it to be safe.

but if you do want to--they make a little side bed thing that attaches to your bed, so you don't have to worry about baby falling over the edge or getting smooshed.


Quoting Radellia:

Co-sleeping is really tough for my husband and I, the bed is cramped enough already and my husband is a really heavy sleeper (yea, he can sleep through baby screaming...) so I'd worry having baby between us and I don't want him too close to the edge either if he sleeps on the other side of me...

What age/ how long did it take to transition your kids to their own bed once they started to co-sleep with you?


Quoting AM-BRAT:

I tried to avoid co-sleeping as well with my first and it was more trouble than it was worth.

You have to remember babies are programmed to be WITH their mommies. Just go with it so you don't be a tired mommy. Do what it takes to sleep. 

I have kids that are 6&4, still enjoy sleeping in our bed if they can but are well adjusted and sleep in their own rooms fine. (I prefer to have the bed to myself of course lol)

They will move out someday I swear lol. Just get some sleep!


 

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:21 PM

For the first year.

I start slowly transitioning them around 6 months. I might try laying them down for a nap, or starting them out in their own bed. If they cry, I pick them right up though. We never had any issues getting them into their own beds/rooms.

Quoting MomOfNolan:

 How long did you co-sleep?  I did with my first for the first 7 1/2 months and the first night I put him in his crib we ALL slept amazingly and I wished I would have done it sooner.  I'm due with #2 in June and I plan on co-sleeping for a while but I'm trying to figure out when to make the switch.

Thanks!

Quoting Randi02:

I breastfeed and co sleep. It means a lot more sleep for all of us. My youngest is 3 weeks old, and has slept with us from birth - just like my other 3 did.

Your baby just spent 9 months inside of you, being held constantly/warm/listening to your heartbeat, so it's normal for them to be most comfortable when they have those things. It's all they know.

 


Thelmama
by Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Very typical of newborns to have days and night mixed up and be fussy like this at night. Just soothe, bathe, rock etc.  It will get better, I promise. I slept with my babies in  bassinette next to me and one arm in with them so they could feel close to me. It worked for me.

MomOfNolan
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:27 PM

 Thanks!  I never knew when an appropriate timing was and everyone kept telling me that "the  longer you wait, the more difficult it will be."  Unfortunately my sisters friend had the unfortunate happen and her husband rolled over on the baby. That night my babe slept in his own room, and cold turkey he did fabulously!  I'm sure like anything else, every baby is different.  Just want to maximize my beauty sleep ;)

Quoting Randi02:   

For the first year.

I start slowly transitioning them around 6 months. I might try laying them down for a nap, or starting them out in their own bed. If they cry, I pick them right up though. We never had any issues getting them into their own beds/rooms.

Quoting MomOfNolan:

 How long did you co-sleep?  I did with my first for the first 7 1/2 months and the first night I put him in his crib we ALL slept amazingly and I wished I would have done it sooner.  I'm due with #2 in June and I plan on co-sleeping for a while but I'm trying to figure out when to make the switch.

Thanks!

Quoting Randi02:

I breastfeed and co sleep. It means a lot more sleep for all of us. My youngest is 3 weeks old, and has slept with us from birth - just like my other 3 did.

Your baby just spent 9 months inside of you, being held constantly/warm/listening to your heartbeat, so it's normal for them to be most comfortable when they have those things. It's all they know.

 


 

Randi02
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, baby should only ever sleep next to their breastfeeding mother - and only ever on a bed (never a couch, recliner etc.). That's awful.

The longest one of my kids was in our bed was 14 months, the shortest was 7-8 months.

Some people wait until the child wants to sleep on their own, but we encourage it a little because all of our kids are so close together lol.

Quoting MomOfNolan:

 Thanks!  I never knew when an appropriate timing was and everyone kept telling me that "the  longer you wait, the more difficult it will be."  Unfortunately my sisters friend had the unfortunate happen and her husband rolled over on the baby. That night my babe slept in his own room, and cold turkey he did fabulously!  I'm sure like anything else, every baby is different.  Just want to maximize my beauty sleep ;)

Quoting Randi02:   

For the first year.

I start slowly transitioning them around 6 months. I might try laying them down for a nap, or starting them out in their own bed. If they cry, I pick them right up though. We never had any issues getting them into their own beds/rooms.

Quoting MomOfNolan:

 How long did you co-sleep?  I did with my first for the first 7 1/2 months and the first night I put him in his crib we ALL slept amazingly and I wished I would have done it sooner.  I'm due with #2 in June and I plan on co-sleeping for a while but I'm trying to figure out when to make the switch.

Thanks!

Quoting Randi02:

I breastfeed and co sleep. It means a lot more sleep for all of us. My youngest is 3 weeks old, and has slept with us from birth - just like my other 3 did.

Your baby just spent 9 months inside of you, being held constantly/warm/listening to your heartbeat, so it's normal for them to be most comfortable when they have those things. It's all they know.

 


 


Radellia
by Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:33 PM


Quoting brittany208:

 Do NOT co-sleep with a heavy sleeper! Read up on co-sleeping... baby is supposed to sleep next to momma only, not in between. and not if you drink/do any drugs/smoke/are on any medications.... theres a lot of things that have to be in place for it to be safe.

but if you do want to--they make a little side bed thing that attaches to your bed, so you don't have to worry about baby falling over the edge or getting smooshed.


Quoting Radellia:

Co-sleeping is really tough for my husband and I, the bed is cramped enough already and my husband is a really heavy sleeper (yea, he can sleep through baby screaming...) so I'd worry having baby between us and I don't want him too close to the edge either if he sleeps on the other side of me...

What age/ how long did it take to transition your kids to their own bed once they started to co-sleep with you?


Quoting AM-BRAT:

I tried to avoid co-sleeping as well with my first and it was more trouble than it was worth.

You have to remember babies are programmed to be WITH their mommies. Just go with it so you don't be a tired mommy. Do what it takes to sleep. 

I have kids that are 6&4, still enjoy sleeping in our bed if they can but are well adjusted and sleep in their own rooms fine. (I prefer to have the bed to myself of course lol)

They will move out someday I swear lol. Just get some sleep!



My husband slept in the glider chair we have in our room last night while I was in the middle of the bed with baby... Neither of us want to co-sleep, but last night I nursed him lying down and fell asleep from being so exhausted, we both slept for hours!

brittany208
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:39 PM

 


Quoting Radellia:


Quoting brittany208:

 Do NOT co-sleep with a heavy sleeper! Read up on co-sleeping... baby is supposed to sleep next to momma only, not in between. and not if you drink/do any drugs/smoke/are on any medications.... theres a lot of things that have to be in place for it to be safe.

but if you do want to--they make a little side bed thing that attaches to your bed, so you don't have to worry about baby falling over the edge or getting smooshed.

 

Quoting Radellia:

Co-sleeping is really tough for my husband and I, the bed is cramped enough already and my husband is a really heavy sleeper (yea, he can sleep through baby screaming...) so I'd worry having baby between us and I don't want him too close to the edge either if he sleeps on the other side of me...

What age/ how long did it take to transition your kids to their own bed once they started to co-sleep with you?


Quoting AM-BRAT:

I tried to avoid co-sleeping as well with my first and it was more trouble than it was worth.

You have to remember babies are programmed to be WITH their mommies. Just go with it so you don't be a tired mommy. Do what it takes to sleep. 

I have kids that are 6&4, still enjoy sleeping in our bed if they can but are well adjusted and sleep in their own rooms fine. (I prefer to have the bed to myself of course lol)

They will move out someday I swear lol. Just get some sleep!

 

 

My husband slept in the glider chair we have in our room last night while I was in the middle of the bed with baby... Neither of us want to co-sleep, but last night I nursed him lying down and fell asleep from being so exhausted, we both slept for hours!

I understand. I just encourage you not to start habits you dont want to keep. Can you imagine him sleeping on the glider for an extended period of time? i cant! Four days is a little young to be a good sleeper, but read my other comment above about ways to start good sleep patterns. It is much, much easier to start on the right foot, than to fix "bad habits" later.

 

paknari
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM
I had a sleeper next to my bed where I could still at least put my hand on dd. I also swaddled her for the first couple months. I do t like cosleeping in bed though.
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Randi02
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM

Is there a way to push your bed up against the wall, and have baby sleep on one side of you while your husband sleeps on the other? That is what we do.

You should not co sleep if you're bottle feeding, obese, under the influence of drugs/alcohol, suffering from a sleep disorder, using loose/fluffy bedding, a smoker or if you're sleeping anywhere other than a bed. Baby should always sleep next to their breastfeeding mother, and be at chest level.

We are biologically designed to sleep with our babies, which is why it means more sleep for us. It helps regulate their breathing and temperature, and it syncs your sleep cycle to baby's. When you breastfeed, there are chemical changes that literally alter your state of mind (and sleep!) to make you more in tune to any changes in your sleeping baby.

Quoting Radellia:


Quoting brittany208:

 Do NOT co-sleep with a heavy sleeper! Read up on co-sleeping... baby is supposed to sleep next to momma only, not in between. and not if you drink/do any drugs/smoke/are on any medications.... theres a lot of things that have to be in place for it to be safe.

but if you do want to--they make a little side bed thing that attaches to your bed, so you don't have to worry about baby falling over the edge or getting smooshed.


Quoting Radellia:

Co-sleeping is really tough for my husband and I, the bed is cramped enough already and my husband is a really heavy sleeper (yea, he can sleep through baby screaming...) so I'd worry having baby between us and I don't want him too close to the edge either if he sleeps on the other side of me...

What age/ how long did it take to transition your kids to their own bed once they started to co-sleep with you?


Quoting AM-BRAT:

I tried to avoid co-sleeping as well with my first and it was more trouble than it was worth.

You have to remember babies are programmed to be WITH their mommies. Just go with it so you don't be a tired mommy. Do what it takes to sleep. 

I have kids that are 6&4, still enjoy sleeping in our bed if they can but are well adjusted and sleep in their own rooms fine. (I prefer to have the bed to myself of course lol)

They will move out someday I swear lol. Just get some sleep!



My husband slept in the glider chair we have in our room last night while I was in the middle of the bed with baby... Neither of us want to co-sleep, but last night I nursed him lying down and fell asleep from being so exhausted, we both slept for hours!


dee1603
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:11 PM
Oh goodness. He is way too young to try to get all that now. When dd was a baby, she never slept in bed with me. At this point, the advice I am going to offer you is stay consistent. He will naturally fall into whatever routine you put him on. If you don't want to co sleep, do not co sleep. But he will be up at night and that's something you and dh will have to be patient with for the first few weeks.

Quoting Radellia:

4 days, I know it's early and everyone is still learning, but night time has been insufferable! I don't mind waking up frequently to care for him... But that also requires that he's satisfied long enough for me to fall asleep in the first place - I'd be good with a solid 10 minute nap at this point!



Quoting dee1603:

How old exactly is he?
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