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One child mama... I couldn't imagine having more.

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I have a wonderful 16mo son. He is high needs, but he is a sweet treasure. As I am sitting here snugling him through a major teething spurt, I am thinking of a few friends who already have 2nd babies. How do you care for an infant AND an older child?

I just feel like having multiple kids so close together would shortchange one or the other child...

Because I am 99% sure we are only having one child, I treasure every moment with my baby because I don't get another shot with another kid. I miss the previous stages of babyhood, but I read on here and hear from my friends how excited they are to have ANOTHER child so quickly after having their first!

I guess I just can't fathom giving up the experiences of one child to have another. I am genuinely curious why some people want children so close together?

(I don't mean this as a dig on anyone. I just want to hear a different perspective.)
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by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Replies (11-19):
Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:19 PM
I love having just my daughter, bbut would love to have another
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beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:21 PM
My girls are 18mos apart. I didn't plan it like that, just how it worked out.

I wouldn't change it for anything. They're best friends and they're into the same things at the same time. I can see them as teenagers sharing clothes and shoes and stuff. We've talked about buying a house and they're insistant that they want to keep sharing a room :)

There have been challenges having 2 so close, but the good outweighs the bad and, to be perfectly honest, I never felt like I had to divide my attention. Maybe it's their personalities, though. They're both very independant and have never been needy (other than the basic infant stuff, lol).
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twinsnseptember
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:23 PM

My twin girls and singleton son are 20 months apart. I love it that way. I don't feel anyone is missing out. We r all experiencing life together. They r very different, but I connect with each 1 in a different way. My Katie is my cooker and like to be quite, savannah loves helping me do dishes an is a talker. Jojo the baby is a little clown. 

thatgirl70
by Carin on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:31 PM

That's honestly how we felt after we had our son (he's 5 now). Couldn't imagine having another, he was everything we wanted, dreamed of. Later on, after he turned 3, we started thinking that maybe having another wouldn't be a bad idea, and we kind of did try, but now I'm back to just wanting only him. I'm almost 43, and though I know it's possible at the same time I think "I'm too old for this." The only thing that makes us consider the possibility is that he wants a sibling, but he's special needs and he can be a handful. Can I take care of him and add another child to the mix? Yeah, maybe if I was 10-15 years younger?

SaGe_Ed
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I have three.  The first two are 22 months apart and #2 and #3 are only 17 months apart.  I honestly can say I don't feel like I've had to give up any experiences with any of them.  And I'm fairly certain they don't feel shortchanged.  They love each other so much and have so much fun together, I can't imagine them without each other!  It takes some planning to make sure each gets one on one time with both parents, but it's doable.  I don't think any of my kids would have thrived as an only child, they all seem to crave the social interaction they get from their brother and sister(s).  They all get the love and attention they need and then some (if you include the love and attention they give each other). 

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:49 PM

I spaced ours 3 years apart, because some doctor at the time said that was best, and they are adults now and love each other but the oldest and youngest are 6 years apart and definitely not as close friends as the first and second.

IntactivistMama
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:07 PM
DS just turned 2 #2 is going to be arriving shortly. I am too old to have waited longer for #2. No more after this baby, though. Two and done.
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stargazerwolf
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:12 PM

After my first I knew Id want a second. I enjoy having siblings and felt bad for my friend who is an only child, she wishes she had a sibling. Siblings are the only people in the world that know your parents like you do, as you get older it gets better, you get closer and age doesn't matter anymore really. I'm 25, my sister is 28 and I have twin brothers who are 24. We complain to each other about our parents lol, no one can vent and have the other understand like siblings.

My kids are a month and 4 days shy of being 4 years apart. Neither were planned actually. My first I was married to her dad after I was pregnant. I left him when she was almost 2. My boyfriend and I accidently concieved our daughter, but I was thrilled. Already my 4 year old (almost 5) loves having a sister and when my 9 month old starts walking its going to be even more fun. You don't give more attention to the other, or if you have to you make up for it. As they get older they play together and then it is even easier, even now my 4 year old entertains her sister some of the time playing on the floor with her baby toys lol.

I'm not saying every only child is missing out, but I could never imagine only having one. I think it is a special bond between siblings you can't get anywhere else and I don't know any adult person that wishes they didn't have a sibling, only children wish they did (the ones I've known). You share in caring for your parents when they get old (I know me and my siblings will) and you always have someone to turn to when you parent gives you crap about something you did (like an accidental pregnancy...). Mine aren't real close and my 4 year old is fairly independent so I honestly think a 3-4 year spacing is perfect for me :)

piwife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:44 PM
I have 3 kids ages 6,4 and 9 mts. Yes its hard at times but I couldn't imagine my life without them.
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