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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Since we have lost our son we feel so incomplete!!!!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:01 AM
  • 20 Replies

Okay here is the question...We lost our son at the end of November and I want to know how soon is too soon to start trying again. We both wanted a baby so bad and we were half way there and now we feel so incomplete. It's not that we want to replace him with another baby its just that we were both ready and already transitioning into baby mode. What are your thoughts?

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:05 AM

As long as you are both ready emotionally and physically you can start any time.

itsaboy0401
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:13 AM

See that is just the thing...my mother, God knows I love her to death, keeps telling me I should wait a year. Its not that I have gotten over the fact that Myles is gone but I have to accept the fact that he is not here with us. I think she is afraid that all the horrible things we went through as a family will happen again. I will admit it was the most horrific pregnancy I have ever  had and his birth was even worse but I have to remind myslef that everything happens for a reason. I almost died giving birth to him. I don't want anyone to worry, but thats just the thing they will worry!!!

DragonMother10
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:14 AM
If you're both ready, then nothing should stop you.
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sucker4myloves
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this

First, I am so sorry. Bless you and your family. Second, when you and your husband are both ready, then it is time. Nevermind your mom, she'll get over it. Your Myles is an angel now. You can't change that, and a years time won't change it either. Best of luck in your next pregnancy, may you have a healthy baby brother to Myles and may you be able to tell that baby about his big brother in heaven some day.

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alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:21 AM

 I am so sorry for your loss, i can only imagine what that must feel like.  I think if you guys are both ready, then go for it.  Your mom may not be ready, but..it's not her having the baby, its you and your husband! best of luck to you!

daughteroftruth
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:26 AM

If you are both emotionally ready and your are healthy then go for it. 

elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:48 AM
I agree with the other ladies. If you and dh have properly grieved the loss of your precious son, and feel emotionally ready to ride that rollercoaster again (hopefully with a different outcome) and your doc says your good to go, then go! Make sure you've processed the loss but it isn't your moms call. Only you and dh know what you can handle....
On another note, my dh and I have known for years (like 8 years) that if we ever have a boy he will be Myles with the y and everything. Never knew anyone who had that plan!
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bi-polarmommy
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 3:51 AM

 its only too soon if YOU feel its too soon, there is no time limit on waiting

if you feel ready to try again, then try again and may you be blessed with a little addition soon

MaddiesMama09
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 4:16 AM
My heart aches for you. So very sorry for your loss, mama. When my cousin had her twins prematurely at 22 weeks, (they also passed away), her OB told her they technically could try to get pregnant again within 6 months, but really preferred her to wait a full year. MAINLY to let her body heal and fully recover from the last pregnancy and birth. Birth really does a number on your body and if you had complications, maybe waiting just a smidge longer will help you to be fully recovered and ready to go for a healthy full term pregnancy. My prayers go out to you. And I wish you nothing but the best.
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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:51 AM

I think it is perfectly reasonable to want to have another child. It would never replace your first child, and I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))
 

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