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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

If you had a hard time getting your toddler to listen ...

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:32 PM
  • 12 Replies

How did you get them to do what you told them? My 3 year old doesn't listen to me for anything.

He'll listen to his dad, but he only sees him in the mornings and after he gets off work at 5 pm.

I'm a SAHM, so it's important that he listens when I tell him things instead of ignoring me like he does now. He only listens maybe 30% of the time. The rest I have to put him in timeout all the time and take things away from him. Hasn't been working though.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Zazayam
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:43 PM

Do you have a time out area set up and how long do you leave them there?

I have a chair in an out of the way corner where there's nothing for them to look at but walls, and I find it's important to not leave them there long enough for them to start playing with their imagination and forget why they're even there in the first place (5 mins TOPS for mine).

I also have a talk with them before and after timeouts explaining what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and why they got their toy taken and when they'll get it back (if that applies).

That age really likes to feel out their boundries though, so just stay patient and on top of things, it'll come together :)

Zazayam
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:45 PM

Oh, and be as quick to reward good things as you are to correct bad.. We have a magnet chart that they can use to earn rewards. Good things get a magnet, bad things take one away (along with timeout).

terpmama
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Make him part of the plan and give warnings when it's time to change what we're doing. "In 2minutes we will..." Have him be part of it. I'm about to start deep cleaning and purging the house so this weekend I will be putting together cleaning buckets for the kids that match mine (with kid sized cleaning stuff and non toxic wipes and spray bottles). Also lots of exercise.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:57 PM

What is your daily schedule like?  This age really thrives on schedules.  At 1pm we will have lunch.   Ok johnny in 5 minutes I will start making lunch so we can eat at 1pm.   Clear rules also help having them posted though he may not be able to read them.

jhslove
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:02 PM

When you say you put him in time out, what exactly does that mean? Can you describe how you do time-out?

BrittSam2011
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:47 PM

If its something small like just not listening, he sits against the wall where I can see him but away from everything. But if he did something like he hit one of his brothers, he gets to stand with his nose in the corner, also within my sight.

And it's only for 3 minutes, but the time only starts when he stops yelling. And if he gets up or starts playing, the timer starts again from the beginning. And I tell him why he was in time out before and after as well.

Quoting jhslove:

When you say you put him in time out, what exactly does that mean? Can you describe how you do time-out?


BrittSam2011
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:48 PM

If its something small like just not listening, he sits against the wall where I can see him but away from everything. But if he did something like he hit one of his brothers, he gets to stand with his nose in the corner, also within my sight.

And it's only for 3 minutes, but the time only starts when he stops yelling. And if he gets up or starts playing, the timer starts again from the beginning. And I tell him why he was in time out before and after as well.


And thanks for the advice. I don't like losing my patience, but sometimes it runs away from me. Lol
Quoting Zazayam:

Do you have a time out area set up and how long do you leave them there?

I have a chair in an out of the way corner where there's nothing for them to look at but walls, and I find it's important to not leave them there long enough for them to start playing with their imagination and forget why they're even there in the first place (5 mins TOPS for mine).

I also have a talk with them before and after timeouts explaining what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and why they got their toy taken and when they'll get it back (if that applies).

That age really likes to feel out their boundries though, so just stay patient and on top of things, it'll come together :)


BrittSam2011
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:50 PM

You know, we don't actually have a schedule. What do/did you do with your kids? I was looking for examples online but couldn't find any.

Quoting frndlyfn:

What is your daily schedule like?  This age really thrives on schedules.  At 1pm we will have lunch.   Ok johnny in 5 minutes I will start making lunch so we can eat at 1pm.   Clear rules also help having them posted though he may not be able to read them.


Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:02 PM

Just keep being consistant, poor mama, I remember how tough 3 year olds can be! Give him one warning and if he doesn't listen do the time out, he will learn eventually. BUT, if you let him get away with not listening it gets confusing for him. Then there's just a lot of yelling going on and tasks not getting done. Make sure you have his attention first before you give him a direction, say his name, get down on his level, look in his eyes.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:12 PM

We had a loose schedule but we had wake up time, breakfast time, snack time, lunch time and then usually in the afternoon we would try to get to the library or store or something for an activity.  Wake up time was about 9am, breakfast 9:30, snacks about 11am, lunch noon -1pm etc.  You can schedule in story time for him in the afternoon and morning so you are reading to him.  Craft times are great.


Quoting BrittSam2011:

You know, we don't actually have a schedule. What do/did you do with your kids? I was looking for examples online but couldn't find any.

Quoting frndlyfn:

What is your daily schedule like?  This age really thrives on schedules.  At 1pm we will have lunch.   Ok johnny in 5 minutes I will start making lunch so we can eat at 1pm.   Clear rules also help having them posted though he may not be able to read them.




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