Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

parents dont want to travel for my wedding

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:29 PM
  • 53 Replies
I'm getting married next year and we decided to get married on his parents 30 acre property in Texas even though we live in VA and so does most of my family. His Dad is recovering from cancer and also has severe heart disease, as a result he can't travel. Having the wedding there will also save us a ton of money. But my parents are complaining about having to travel even though we have offered to pay for their flight expenses. My bridesmaids aren't complaining, why are my parents being such pains about it? I'm thinking they're going to say they won't come and blame it on missing work, which I know they could easily get time off from, or some other crap. Hell they might even just flat out tell me they don't want to come out there period. I feel like this is our day and we should be able to plan what we want without other people making it about them, but what can I do to make it more agreeable for everyone?
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
kim8934
by Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:35 PM

what is the relationship you have with your parents like?  is this your first marriage?  in all honesty, you are trying to accommodate as many people as possible.  try to let them pick things for the wedding, get their opinion as much as possible (except for location).  Once they feel they are more involved, I'm sure they will want to be there.

3kids2mutts
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:46 PM
I'm pretty close with my parents but the relationship is somewhat strained because of alcoholism on their part. It will be wedding number 2 for both of us, but his parents weren't able to be at his first like mine were. To be honest his Dad doesn't have long even though he is cancer free and its very important to both of us that his Dad get to see him get married before he dies. My parents don't get very involved in planning, I had to bug the hell out of my mom to get her to come dress shopping with me. That's just how they are. We want to accommodate them as much as possible but refuse to force his parents to be left out when they're the ones that are more excited just because my parents want to make it about them. His mom can't leave his Dad for extended periods, more than a couple hours at a time so if he can't come neither can she.
SewingMamaLele
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:50 PM
6 moms liked this

Plan the wedding you want.   Your parents will come, or they won't.  You can't control their actions, and you will regret it if you don't do what you want in order to accomodate them.    Sounds like they'll make it difficult no matter what you do.

raegan1221
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:54 PM

 This..And congratulations on your wedding. I bet it will beautiful.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

Plan the wedding you want.   Your parents will come, or they won't.  You can't control their actions, and you will regret it if you don't do what you want in order to accomodate them.    Sounds like they'll make it difficult no matter what you do.

 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
3kids2mutts
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:03 PM
Quoting raegan1221:



Thank you! I really hope they will come but have already resigned myself to the fact that they will do what they want and I can't change something so important to suit them. I just hope my wedding is important enough to them to come out and support us.
soontobemomof2k
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:09 PM

honestly you cant expect ppl to travel that far, even parents. although u offered to pay, they might not want to go that far. I dont think id really care if my parents didnt come

CotterpinDoozer
by Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Honestly, when you plan to have a wedding a distance away from where you live, you should always plan on some people not wanting or unable to make the trip. Even your parents. I'm sorry about that, but plan the wedding you want. If they don't make the trip, that's on them.  If you don't mind my asking, have they been offering other location ideas to you, or are they just dragging their feet about not wanting to travel that far?


3kids2mutts
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Honestly, when you plan to have a wedding a distance away from where you live, you should always plan on some people not wanting or unable to make the trip. Even your parents. I'm sorry about that, but plan the wedding you want. If they don't make the trip, that's on them.  If you don't mind my asking, have they been offering other location ideas to you, or are they just dragging their feet about not wanting to travel that far?



No, we've been engaged for a little while and weren't planning to be married in Texas until we traveled there for a funeral recently. Before that I had asked my mom to help me with planning as well as trying to talk to them both about ideas and they both pretty much ignored that. They haven't offered any other location ideas or any enthusiasm even though they do really like my fiance. They just stay distant from that kind of thing,so its about travel for them.
raegan1221
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:11 PM

 Yeah I would really hope so. Just don't let it overwhelm you and make planning your wedding not stressful and fun. Planning a wedding is fun! :)

Quoting 3kids2mutts:

Quoting raegan1221:



Thank you! I really hope they will come but have already resigned myself to the fact that they will do what they want and I can't change something so important to suit them. I just hope my wedding is important enough to them to come out and support us.

 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
sreichelt26
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:12 PM

This

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

Plan the wedding you want.   Your parents will come, or they won't.  You can't control their actions, and you will regret it if you don't do what you want in order to accomodate them.    Sounds like they'll make it difficult no matter what you do.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured