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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

parents dont want to travel for my wedding

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I'm getting married next year and we decided to get married on his parents 30 acre property in Texas even though we live in VA and so does most of my family. His Dad is recovering from cancer and also has severe heart disease, as a result he can't travel. Having the wedding there will also save us a ton of money. But my parents are complaining about having to travel even though we have offered to pay for their flight expenses. My bridesmaids aren't complaining, why are my parents being such pains about it? I'm thinking they're going to say they won't come and blame it on missing work, which I know they could easily get time off from, or some other crap. Hell they might even just flat out tell me they don't want to come out there period. I feel like this is our day and we should be able to plan what we want without other people making it about them, but what can I do to make it more agreeable for everyone?
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Replies (51-53):
Donya90
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 2:42 AM

Weddings and funerals sometimes bring out the worst in family. We have seen a few issues within our own families regarding these special times. Does your mom and dad feel a bit left out of the planning? Sometimes the best way to bring about good feelings is to act like you need their help and suggestions. Are they hurt that your not getting married in your own home town? Parents tend to dream about this moment too and Im sure they never dreamed it would happen so far away. Try to talk about the situation. That is all you can do. Whatever your parents decide (and I truly pray that they realize this is not something to miss.) This Wedding is about YOU and YOUR fiance. Do not let anyone to ruin this special day and the promise of what it will bring. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE! What is important is that you love this man and he loves you and your both about to take this amazing step in life. IF your parents do not attend, while I know it will be hurtful...do your best to rise above it and dont build an emotional wall. Plus, that is just nasty baggage to carry around when your starting this new chapter in your life. (I have had some VERY hurtful things happen to me regarding family so I talk from experience. I won my husbands heart by rising above those hurtful actions. We are going on 23 years.) Good Luck and Congradulations!!!!

3kids2mutts
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Donya90:

Weddings and funerals sometimes bring out the worst in family. We have seen a few issues within our own families regarding these special times. Does your mom and dad feel a bit left out of the planning? Sometimes the best way to bring about good feelings is to act like you need their help and suggestions. Are they hurt that your not getting married in your own home town? Parents tend to dream about this moment too and Im sure they never dreamed it would happen so far away. Try to talk about the situation. That is all you can do. Whatever your parents decide (and I truly pray that they realize this is not something to miss.) This Wedding is about YOU and YOUR fiance. Do not let anyone to ruin this special day and the promise of what it will bring. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE! What is important is that you love this man and he loves you and your both about to take this amazing step in life. IF your parents do not attend, while I know it will be hurtful...do your best to rise above it and dont build an emotional wall. Plus, that is just nasty baggage to carry around when your starting this new chapter in your life. (I have had some VERY hurtful things happen to me regarding family so I talk from experience. I won my husbands heart by rising above those hurtful actions. We are going on 23 years.) Good Luck and Congradulations!!!!



Unfortunately they haven't shown much interest in participating since we announced our engagement. I've tried to involve them but haven't had much luck. However they have a year to change their minds...I did.talk my mom into coming with me to pick out a dress (she didn't pick outmy first wedding dress with me either, my ex mil did that) so hopefully with that it will become little more real and they'll at least start to get excited even if they choose not to come. If they don't I'll understand the hassle but it would upset me not to have them be at least happy for us.
That's just my parents. When I was pregnant with dd, my mom once said it might be better if I miscarried. Didn't tell her family I was pregnant until I was 3 months and neither of them said.anything to me about the baby coming until I was 8 months but now my dd is the center of their universe. They stay distanced from those things. I dont know why,.but hopefully in time they'llcome around. They like my fiance so that's not a factor. We shall see.
Madammeke
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Emotions can run high when it comes to weddings.

Sit them down when you are feeling better, talk about the importance of them being there for you. Because you both want them there. And... talk about the health of your father in law and make comparisons. It takes sometimes some 'massaging' to get everybody back on track again.

Congrats and good luck!

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