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Don't know what to do

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:45 AM
  • 6 Replies

Ok, so today, I got to hang out with my best friend who I have not seen in awhile. She has been really busy with college and trying to become a teacher. I know that she has been stressed out lately and I never mentioned to her that I was pregnant and I am halfway through it which I know it was wrong not to tell her. So I pretty much feel bad that I didnt. She just got married 2 years ago too. We usually talk on the phone when she is not in class. For the past couple of months she has been talking about wanting to have a baby, but I thought to myself she should finish college, but I guess it is her choice. She has been trying for at least 6 months and has been to the ob and they say she is fine and everything. I know she has been upset about not getting pregnant and with school and I didnt want to say anything Cause I didnt know how she would react. But today we met up for lunch and I finally told her. I could tell that she looked upset, but she put on a smile and said she is happyfor me. I told her that I was scared to talk to her about it. An hour later, she broke down. I wish I knew what to say. I told her I am there for her if she wants to talk. After I said that, she said she had to go and left really quick. I tried to reach her later that day to ask if she was ok and not mad, but she really has not got back to me. I don't know if I should give her time to adjust or what? I don't know what to do.

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:45 AM
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Replies (1-6):
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:50 AM
Tough!

I think just give her time and be a good ear.

Try to not to be baby-obsessed around her, but if it becomes a problem between you take a break from the relationship.
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strangeyfine
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:15 AM

This. And try not to worry; she is your best friend and will come to understand why you didn't tell her sooner and she will be happy for you. Good luck, Hun. 

Quoting AM-BRAT:

Tough!

I think just give her time and be a good ear.

Try to not to be baby-obsessed around her, but if it becomes a problem between you take a break from the relationship.


erikadi
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I would give her sometime. She probably has a lot of mixed emotions. She is probably happy for you, but is jealous at the same time. She probably also wishes you had told her sooner, but she probably understands you were trying to spare her feelings.

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:21 AM

I would give her some space. Make sure to keep in contact. Keep the topic on schooling and your friendship. 
I tried for 2.5 years with no luck. It is hard, but it will get better.  

Kymma
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 10:00 AM

Trying to get pregnant and not succeeding can be distressing.  As time goes by and you see pregnant women, you think "What's wrong with me?" and there's often a sense of deep sadness with a tinge of jealousy. 

You've done the right thing in reaching out to her and letting her know you're there for her.  She may need  time to sort out her emotions, so don't be surprised if you don't hear from her today or tomorrow.  Every so often you may want to send her a text that simply says "Just want you to know I'm thinking about you."

meaganmac
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 11:30 AM

What all these ladies said! 

My husband and I have struggled to conceive for 4 years now.  It is so hard to see what feels like everyone around you get pregnant when you can't.  In my experience, I am genuinely happy when I find out someone is expecting, but it also makes me sad and jealous.  It's can be really hard to put your own feelings aside and she just needs time to be able to do that.

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