Neighbor won't let son come over to play with mine

Me too. 

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.

Ugh. Well you don't know her son could have asthmatic issues...
but I agree with Saral, Just let it go. She might be standoffish because she doesn't know how you will react to her suddenly not letting her son play with yours anymore. Next time you see her smile and wave. If it really does bother you that much go over and talk to her about it, If its the smoking that bothers her, Just let her know that you respect her feelings, And that you hope your son's can remain friends. Don't make this personal don't make this about you and her. its about her feelings as a Parent at the end of the day we all want others to respect our parenting... whether they agree with us or not .

Thanks....

Quoting AngelicMommy_72:

Ugh. Well you don't know her son could have asthmatic issues...
but I agree with Saral, Just let it go. She might be standoffish because she doesn't know how you will react to her suddenly not letting her son play with yours anymore. Next time you see her smile and wave. If it really does bother you that much go over and talk to her about it, If its the smoking that bothers her, Just let her know that you respect her feelings, And that you hope your son's can remain friends. Don't make this personal don't make this about you and her. its about her feelings as a Parent at the end of the day we all want others to respect our parenting... whether they agree with us or not .

 I also agree with your neighbor. The toxins from smoke stay on clothing and furniture long after the cigarette is put out. When you exhale, these toxins (which are obviously known to cause cancer) are released from your mouth by breathing and talking for hours after you have smoked a cigarette. This may seem ridiculous to some, but I will take every single precaution I can to protect my child. No one else is going to do it. That's my job.

Why not invite them to a park where there is no smoking and see if you can talk to her about it calmly.  I do not mind if parents smoked as long as it was not in the car while driving since the smoke will be more concentrated there.  We live in a non smoking home (my guy quit before i moved out here).

 Yep,third hand smoke is why I would have a problem...

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Here

 

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.

 Oh this is one of those "you could walk outside and get hit by a bus tomorrow" statements that tries to diminish "I don't want my kids around cancer causing substances". No need to try to get any logical explanation! :)

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.

 

Sugar filled snacks can cause diabetes, some foods cause high cholesterol, exhaust from cars and lots of pollution can cause breathing problems, certain ingredients in foods are believed to cause cancer. Every time your child leaves the house they are breathing in something that can cause breathing problems.

Quoting Mommy2justone:

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.

THIS is why, and if you were smart, THIS WOULD CONCERN YOU TOO.

Children of smokers are especially at risk of thirdhand smoke exposure and contamination because the homes, hair, clothes, and cars of smokers can have significant levels of thirdhand smoke contamination. Young children are particularly vulnerable, because they can ingest tobacco residue by putting their hands in their mouths after touching contaminated surfaces.  Environmental tobacco smoke (ETS) contamination and ETS exposure were 5–7 times higher in households of smokers trying to protect their children by smoking outdoors than in households of non-smokers.  Smoking outside the home and away from the  child reduces but does NOT completely protect a smoker’s home from ETS contamination and a smoker’s child from ETS exposure.