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Neighbor won't let son come over to play with mine

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Because hubby smokes (outside only) my neighbor saw for the first time and now she won't let my sons class mate play at our house. She did before. They live right beside us so its really weird running into them all the time. You can totally tell she is being standoffish all of a sudden. 

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Replies (31-40):
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:17 PM
I understand the risks of second hand smoke and no one smokes around ds. However, I have let him go to people's homes who smoke outside. I have never met anyone who sends all their child's food with them. And I have always lived in highly populated areas so pollution is a given.


Quoting Mommy2justone:

That is why I choose to send food with my child if she goes over someone's home. They shouldn't be expected to feed my child anyway. And we don't eat anything but real food, I know my food. I know what EXACTLY is going into my body and my child's body every day.
 
And they are breathing in what, exactly, that could cause cancer or respiratory issues outside?
Exhaust from the cars? I could see that if I lived next to a highway. Pollution? Maybe if I lived California where their cities top the charts of the most polluted in the USA.

But the chances are much higher if I let my child be exposed, KNOWINGLY, to cigarette smoke.
I don't understand your logic.
If your child was asked to go on a play date with a mom who lets her children run wild and doesn't watch them knowing your child would be treated the same, wouldn't you have some concern?
Well she KNOWS that the father smokes, so why would she want her children exposed to something like that? 


Quoting cjsmom1:

Sugar filled snacks can cause diabetes, some foods cause high cholesterol, exhaust from cars and lots of pollution can cause breathing problems, certain ingredients in foods are believed to cause cancer. Every time your child leaves the house they are breathing in something that can cause breathing problems.





Quoting Mommy2justone:

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.






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cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:21 PM
No I don't smoke and never have. Personally I think cigarettes should stop being made. However they're such a big revenue for states it'll never happen. He is smoking outside not around the kids and I think it's wrong to not allow these kids to play because of that.


Quoting stepconfused182:

 Sugar filled snacks do not cause diabetes. Do you smoke? Are you honestly comparing the severity of allowing your child around a known carcinogen to walking outside the house and breathing in the air? Come on. It's your job as a parent to teach your child about healthy eating and how to avoid unhealthy situations. However, ignoring the dangers of third hand smoke is not doing your children any favors.


Quoting cjsmom1:

Sugar filled snacks can cause diabetes, some foods cause high cholesterol, exhaust from cars and lots of pollution can cause breathing problems, certain ingredients in foods are believed to cause cancer. Every time your child leaves the house they are breathing in something that can cause breathing problems.



Quoting Mommy2justone:


Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?


Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.




 


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thatgirl70
by Carin on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I'm afraid I would be the same. The odor (from his clothes) could still drift into the house and for all she knows, maybe he smokes inside sometimes as well. 

ZakkarysMom
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:23 PM
I agree.


Quoting jackiewal10:

I'll jump on the "I agree with your neighbor" bandwagon.  I wouldn't want my kids there either. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:26 PM

 


Quoting cjsmom1:

No I don't smoke and never have. Personally I think cigarettes should stop being made. However they're such a big revenue for states it'll never happen. He is smoking outside not around the kids and I think it's wrong to not allow these kids to play because of that.

Google " DANGERS OF THIRD-HAND SMOKE", and you might learn something.

emilysmom8
by Dawn on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.

 Smoke stays on your clothes and in your hair. Even if someone smokes away from kids does not mean they dont breath in the toxins.

stepconfused182
by Kelley on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:29 PM

 This is what I was thinking. As this womans neighbor and without anyone telling me differently,  I would assume he smokes inside on occasion. Especially at night and when the temperatures are freezing outside (depending on where they live).

Quoting thatgirl70:

I'm afraid I would be the same. The odor (from his clothes) could still drift into the house and for all she knows, maybe he smokes inside sometimes as well. 

 

LizzieAnnesMom
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:29 PM
This

Quoting coupon_ash_back:

Sorry I wouldn't want my kids around that mess either.
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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

Well I am not judging anyone. I am simply supporting my statement. I would NOT want my child in a home with a smoker. Even if they smoke outside. I agree with your neighbor. 
It isn't a judgement on your parenting, your lifestyle. She is protecting her child. And I wholeheartedly agree with that.  

Quoting Camsmom101007:

Now isn't this funny....all the ones judging on here are the ones that agree with my judgey neighbor?! We lived here for I've half of year before she even saw him smoking outside. I see her and her husband thru there large crackled bathroom window, over the garden tub, passing something with a cherry back and forth, then throwing it in the toilet, all the time at night, and I don't think it's a cigarette.

Quoting cjsmom1:

Sugar filled snacks can cause diabetes, some foods cause high cholesterol, exhaust from cars and lots of pollution can cause breathing problems, certain ingredients in foods are believed to cause cancer. Every time your child leaves the house they are breathing in something that can cause breathing problems.


Quoting Mommy2justone:

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.





Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:33 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't let anyone else feed my child actually. 
So, you haven't met me.

I think it is a parental choice to let your child go into a home where a smoker lives. I didn't say it wasn't your choice, only that it wasn't mine, and I agree with the neighbor. 

Quoting cjsmom1:

I understand the risks of second hand smoke and no one smokes around ds. However, I have let him go to people's homes who smoke outside. I have never met anyone who sends all their child's food with them. And I have always lived in highly populated areas so pollution is a given.


Quoting Mommy2justone:

That is why I choose to send food with my child if she goes over someone's home. They shouldn't be expected to feed my child anyway. And we don't eat anything but real food, I know my food. I know what EXACTLY is going into my body and my child's body every day.
 
And they are breathing in what, exactly, that could cause cancer or respiratory issues outside?
Exhaust from the cars? I could see that if I lived next to a highway. Pollution? Maybe if I lived California where their cities top the charts of the most polluted in the USA.

But the chances are much higher if I let my child be exposed, KNOWINGLY, to cigarette smoke.
I don't understand your logic.
If your child was asked to go on a play date with a mom who lets her children run wild and doesn't watch them knowing your child would be treated the same, wouldn't you have some concern?
Well she KNOWS that the father smokes, so why would she want her children exposed to something like that? 


Quoting cjsmom1:

Sugar filled snacks can cause diabetes, some foods cause high cholesterol, exhaust from cars and lots of pollution can cause breathing problems, certain ingredients in foods are believed to cause cancer. Every time your child leaves the house they are breathing in something that can cause breathing problems.





Quoting Mommy2justone:

Like what? What could my child be doing over someone else's house that is equivalent to something that could cause cancer or respiratory issues?

Quoting cjsmom1:

I find it ridiculous. If he does it outside the house and it's not around the kids then there's no reason for her to not let the kids over. I understand smoking isn't healthy but a lot of things aren't.







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