I am so tired and fed up. My kids father has been living with me and recently lost his job so he has been collecting unemployment. He is a heavy marijuana smoker and whenever he does not have it he walks around with this bad attitude and is angry at everyone. So whenever he gets that way I try to stay out of his way and even make the kids keep their distance. Even though I have always felt that I would never marry him because of this and my inability to trust him I felt that it would do some good to have him around for help with the kids. I know that if we break up he will not have much to do with the kids so I am toughing it out just to have him around. don't get me wrong I do love him just not in that way anymore. We have been on and off over 10 years now and nothing seems to be getting any better. Everytime I try to talk to him about this he walks away and does not want to hear a word that I have to say. I have told him several times that he needs to get a place of his own and that we can still take care of the kids together just live separately. He does not take me serious at all. When I finally get mad enough and tell him to get out he will say that he is going to get back all the money for the car payments and that he's going to do something stupid. I know that he has a mean streak so I am really trying to take it easy. But lately we have been getting into it and the kids can hear everything. I just want out of this. My heart no longer wants to love him. There is a part of me that does not want to be alone again but I'd rather be lonely then live like this. I just dont know what to do. He has told me several times that he is not leaving. I do not want to have to get the law involved but he is not making this easy.
on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:32 PM