WWYD?
My mil usually watches our four kids once every other month so dh and I can go out. In my mind it's a win win situation because we get to go out and they (mil and kids) get to spend time together. Just to note: We do not expect it, if she were to say no we would make other arrangements. However, lately my dh has been insisting on doing things closer to home or being home early so that mil doesn't have to stay up too late. I can appreciate what he's doing. However, I am not happy that we have to plan our dates around what's best for mil all the time. I don't want to have to come home early if we are having fun just because of her. I have suggested finding someone else to watch the kids, but he wants family. Okay, fine. I suggest one of the kids two aunts that live close by. That's a no go as well. What the heck?! Help me please.
I know I titled it wrong. OR worded it wrong. But I called it that because it is a MIL babysitting issue, but not because it her fault.
Quoting Mommy4two:No offense it sounds like your husband not your MIL ...
Quoting tihone77:And guess what, I have communicated with my dh and have gotten nowhere.
Then try again.
Something is going on with your husband.
We can't really help because we, like you, have no idea what that is.
Sit him down, and let him know that it is necessary to the well being of your marriage that he explains EXACTLY why he is doing this.
Sounds to me like this issue has nothing to do with babysitting and everything to do with your husband wanting to cut your dates short.
If it were me, I'd talk to MIL, and see if she's had any issue with the length of time you guys have been out. If she says not, then talk to your husband about it, and when she tries to use her as an excuse say "No, I already talked to her about it and she said everything was fine. Please tell me the real reason you always want to cut our dates short."
Quoting tihone77:No he hasn't, he just said we needed to go home. And to clarify, it's not that we stay out late for our date. It's that halfway through the date he is wanting to leave. I think we are having fun and we still have something else planned and he's just like no we need to go home. But then he won't have anything to do with paying someone either. I don't get it.
Quoting jabs54:Did you dh say WHY he doesn't want her to stay up "too late"? Did she say something to him? Have you asked her what time she would like you to come home? I guess if you need to come home before you'd like when MIL watches them, then you should go out again and pay a babysitter.
Hm, that's odd. Maybe something happend that made him not trust his own mother as well anymore? I'm kind of grasping at straws here. I don't know, it is definatly odd that he would suddenly decide to go home earlier. You really need to discuss it with him and let him know just how important it is for you both to have these date nights and be able to enjoy it throughly.
Quoting tihone77:
We don't stay out late. It's that he wants to end the date earlier than it was supposed to be. Usually we're home ny 8/9pm and she's like "what are you doing home so early?"
Quoting stargazerwolf:
How late do you stay out? I agree that maybe she said something privately to him, but I don't know why he wouldn't be up for finding someone else to watch them. Ask him to give you good reasons. My boyfriend's parents watch the 2 kids once a week for 2-3 hours (never later than 9:30), unless they or we have something going or if the kids are sick. We rarely have anyone watch them simply because all his siblings dont have kids and are very busy most of the time, especially weekends. My family lives too far away and we for the most part dont have anyone else to watch them.
Idk, this is exactly the reason why my mother didn't babysit for us. I wasn't having her crazy restriction.. (Which back in the day was basically drop the kids off right before they go to bed, and come and get them by 7 am).
so she realized really quick that if she wanted to see her grand kids shed watch them the hours we wanted.. Which is basically drop them off right before dinner, and pick them up around 11 or noon the next day.
Quoting Mommy4two:
No offense it sounds like your husband not your MIL ...
After seeing you say that she says ..."what are you doing here so early?"... I would agree. It's a problem with your dh, not your mil.
Did your MIL complain about you guys coming home late or something? If not, why the sudden need from your husband to do something differently?
A question for those who have kids close in age..
When was your due date and when did you give birth?
- tihone77
on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM