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Q&A Giveaway! Ask the Happiness Expert and You Could WIN!!

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What's the #1 thing that stands between you and true happiness? Whether you're just unhappy right now or you have struggled for a long time, our expert is here to help you to be happier in your life!


ThinkAgainMom

Margaret Curley Sanborn, author of the book The Practical Guide to Happiness, will be here March 6th to offer her advice and answer your questions in this thread!

As a bonus, three moms who reply to this post to ask Margaret a question will win a copy of the book!



                                        ^Click the book to take a virtual book tour!

Please ask your questions for Margaret in the replies below. Margaret will post her answers here as well.

Welcome, Margaret, and thanks for joining us!

The Official Rules:

  • The Practical Guide Giveaway starts 3/4/13 at 12pm (ET) and ends 3/20/2013 at 11pm (ET) (the "Giveaway Period").
  • Enter by replying to this post with an appropriate comment during the Giveaway Period.
  • Multiple entries are permitted and encouraged, as it increases your chances of winning.
  • Three winners will be selected in a random drawing of all eligible entries to receive a copy of The Practical Guide to Happiness: If You Don't Like How You're Feeling, Think Again.
  • The random drawing shall occur on or about 3/28/13.
  • No Purchase Necessary.
  • Open to US, DC, and PR residents 16 years and older.
  • Void where prohibited. Click here for the rest of the Official Rules.
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Replies (191-200):
ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:33 PM

 You're right. Happiness isn't just around the corner.  It is here, now, right in this moment, being happy with who you are, where you are, and what you have, now.  Whenever we tie our happiness to something outside of us, it is fleeting if it comes at all.

You have two voices in your head. One will allow you to be happy, the voice of Love (God in my view). The other one will guarantee you aren't - your ego.  Sounds like your ego has had a strong hold in your life.


Quoting SassyLeigh:

I wish I knew the answer to this!! I always feel like there so much more I can do to be happy, but just can't seem to get a grasp on how to make it happen. I've struggled for a long time and now I'm finally getting to a place in my life where I know happiness is right around the corner, but when I turn that corner, am I just going to find something else to be unhappy about.


 

SassyLeigh
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:38 PM

Yes I guess it really has had a big hold on my life! Seems every time I gain something, it yells at me and takes something back. I wish it was easier to not listen to my ego, it brings me down a lot.

Quoting ThinkAgainMom:

 You're right. Happiness isn't just around the corner.  It is here, now, right in this moment, being happy with who you are, where you are, and what you have, now.  Whenever we tie our happiness to something outside of us, it is fleeting if it comes at all.

You have two voices in your head. One will allow you to be happy, the voice of Love (God in my view). The other one will guarantee you aren't - your ego.  Sounds like your ego has had a strong hold in your life.


Quoting SassyLeigh:

I wish I knew the answer to this!! I always feel like there so much more I can do to be happy, but just can't seem to get a grasp on how to make it happen. I've struggled for a long time and now I'm finally getting to a place in my life where I know happiness is right around the corner, but when I turn that corner, am I just going to find something else to be unhappy about.




ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:42 PM

Your physical situation sounds pretty challenging.  I assume you have been working with a physical therapist?  Core strength is something that can be built, even in someone who has serious back problems (I am such a person). 

It is incredibly hard to believe that thinking more positively will change your life when you are reminded every time you get up, of the struggles you face.  But it's true and it works.  Look up stories of Army veterans who have lost multiple limbs, had serious burns and came back to the US with a death question over their head.  Some of them have incredible stories of fighting back and regaining a life and capabilities no one thought they could.  But they believed in themselves and they were willing to do whatever it takes to get their body functioning again, even if it would never be the same.

I believe what you focus on grows bigger in your life.  If you focus on "I CAN"T walk" that will persist.  See yourself regaining the life you want.  End each day with that thought. Start each day with that thought. And trample on every negative thought that comes to mind during the day.  Bodies can heal.

Quoting NurseyC2:

Hello Margaret,

I am unable to walk without either crutches or a walker, if i use a walker I have to bend over in order to walk I am not strong enough to hold myself up.  If I have to go very far away from my car I have to have someone with me that can push my wheelchair.  I would be much happier if I could walk but I don't know what to do to make this happen.  I have had back injuries which left me with a lot of back problems along with having a very weak core.  Have any suggestions?  This stops me from doing any family activities especially travel which is what we used to do all the time and now It is so hard and my 12 yr old DD is resenting me for this.  Please help.

Thank  you,

Cheryl B.


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:45 PM

The Practical Guide to Happiness has concrete steps to take to change your thinking and defeat your ego. On Amazon, in Kindle format it's 2.99. It will be .99 on 3/22 and 3/23.  I will try to have a FREE promotion day at the end of the month for moms who don't have a spare dollar. 

There may be a technique or two that will help you.

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:51 PM

 You are living the Ego's dream life.  The Ego is the voice in your head that always tells you "you're not enough".  If you listen to that voice you will have fleeting happiness and long periods of misery.  You need to learn to identify the Ego voice as soon as it's triggered and before it gets on a rant about you and your life. It's what I call "Think Again" techniques.  I give some very specific examples, using characters and stories that make the ideas very easy to understand.

If you don't win a copy of the book, it's also available on Amazon in kindle format for 2.99 and .99 on 3/22 and 3/23.  Kindle books can be read on your computer, iPad or iPhone.

 


Quoting Briangel:

I tend to look at others and compare me to them. It only allows me to see my faults ()ex she's so much skinnier than me, or wow I wish I could dress that nice and look that good in those clothes...etc). How can I learn to be happier with me, and not constantly compare to how other look/live?


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:07 PM

Not so much a happiness answer but I can tell you what I would do if it were my DD.

I would explain that we love her dearly and although we loved her as a baby and a little girl, we can see that she has become a big girl and that she's capable of doing more things for herself.  Tell her she is expected to dress herself, brush her hair, and do her homework in a timely way.

Getting dressed in the am - I would make it clear that she was going to school in whatever she had on at the time she needed to leave the house. I would tell  her to choose and layout her clothes the night before. I would remind her 10 minutes before she needs to leave, just one reminder.  (If she was indecent when it was time to go I would hand her some variety of the requisite item at the door.)  It's amazing how going to school in your pjs when your 8 1/2 can change your attitude.

Brushing hair.  Same story except that it HAS to be brushed or it becomes impossible to brush.  So I would give her 3 strikes.  I would tell her that the 3rd time she didn't brush her hair properly she was going to get a short hair cut where brushing would truly be optional.

Homework - Tell her your expectations.  Tell her you won't nag her, that it's her responsibility, but that she needs to show you the work when it's done.  Although she can take as long as she wants, dance around, waste time, she does not get to do anything she enjoys until her homework is done. So homework can be a 30 minute thing or a 3 hour thing, her choice.  If she goes to bed without it done, she can explain her choice to her teacher. (Send a note to the teacher asking for her support in trying to teach your daughter to take responsibility for her work.)  You may want to just sit at the table with her while she does her homework.  Sometimes having physical company is a good support.  Read a book, or  newspaper, or be involved in something else.  Don't nag or remind or help with the homework. Tell her the teacher wants to see what SHE knows, what SHE can do.  If she seems to be using you for a distraction, excuse yourself.

 

Quoting mothervixen:

I have an 8 1/2 yr old dd who's able to do a lot of things on her own and she knows it but she insists on either myself or my dh doing it (ex., getting dressed in the morning for school, brushing her own hair and doing her homework everyday as soon as she gets home from school) This situation is putting a lot of stress on both her father and myself, my dh has a job ol that he can't do properly because he has to sit and watch her to make sure she does it and doesn't play around and when I try to help her she plays around and doesn't do the work as well. I have a disability that causes me to have a hard time controlling my emotions to the point where I can start crying cause of all the frustration of trying to keep her mind on the right stuff.

 photo arcticfox.jpg


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:11 PM

 I replied to the mom you quoted earlier.  Look for that post.


Quoting NikkiDoll:

I have this same problem.

Quoting Cate1129:

The # 1 Thing I think that stands between me and real happiness is my habit of procrastination! How do you overcome a lifetime of putting things off? Is there a way to get started but not feel overwhelmed? I know that if I was more organized I could have the time to be the person I want to be! Help!


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:21 PM

We all have limits and it sounds like you are hitting yours.  I do hear something else in what you are saying however.  It seems you have a gift.  That's why they all come to you.  You must be a very good listener and you must be able to offer some assistance that is helpful.

When you are one of those people, however, it is essential that you have someone, or something that restores and replenishes you.  Who or what is that for you?  If you can't answer, it is essential that you find out.

You feel like they are using you - I once again think of my "everything is Love or a Call for Love".  You handle many of these Calls for Love.  I am hearing you sounding your own right now.   I have found that those individuals are not necessarily the ones I want to go to for support.

So set the limits that you need to and find something that feeds your soul.  Take a time out when you need to. Then accept that you have something to give and feel good about the Love you are giving.

 


Quoting Caitlyn137:

My family always uses me as therapist , telling me all their bad day typical situation . But never listen to me , it's taking it toll on me emotionally , because I feel like they are just using me soo they feel better themselves .


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:23 PM

For many. Probably not all. It depends upon what you believe about God. Some people beieve in a pretty angry, judgmental God.

If it brings you happiness, go there.


Quoting penyetta:

Can being closer go God bring happiness?


 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:27 PM

 I think, in most cases, you MUST be happy inspite of circumstances,because as our Ego is happy to point out, our life, ourselves could always be better.

So how? 

 We all have two voices in our head - 1) the voice of Love (God, spirit, or simply human love if that's what you believe) and 2) the voice of the ego.

 The ego's singular mission in life is to be better, special and different. It is never satisfied for very long, because you can always be better, more special and more different.  That's why your spectacular achievements or amazing acquisitions only make you happy for a little while.

If you learn to identify which voice is speaking to you, you can choose which one will run your life.  Your level of happiness depends on your answer.

 

Quoting JCTVCBN:


Do you think it's possible to be happy despite of what our circumstances might be?


 

 

 

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