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Advice or tender words please :/

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:41 AM
  • 17 Replies
I've had 2 other pregnancies that have been completely normal i stated bleeding yesterday and passing clots it stopped and started again o er night so i left to the ER this morning and spent 5 hours all to be told they didn't know what was going to happen to me or my baby :/ i was 6 weeks along or so i thought buy they said i was less than that, or maybe the baby wasn't growing right, the bleeding got worse and the cramps too. I had urine test, blood work, ultra sound, pelvic exam and they said they just didn't know, all they knew was i was pregnant but my hcg levels were very low at 1000 so i could possibly be losing the baby, once i was discharged i left with bad cramps and i could feel more blood gushing out, almost at my car i felt something come out so i went back in the hospital to the restroom and when i wiped i had a huge clot looking thing about the size if a golfball, but it wasnt a clot i dont think it just didnt look right to me, i cldnt go home wondering what it was so i covered it up in paper towels and went back in and hunted my nurse down and asked her if i could show her and she said yes ofcourse, she said yeah thats what a miscarriage looks like there shouldnt be more of it, and i said so i did miscarry? And she said i dont know you need to follow up with you Ob and ill take this to the test room anyways, all i know is my cramping stopped afterwards and the bleeding mellowed down... And i dont feel pregnant at all, in fact i feel empty if that makes any sense. My mom said i looked really bad, way worse than when i left this morning i have huge dark circles and look very pale, i feel exhausted... since my mother watched my sons today once. I got home my brothers and baby sister were here at my house too and my lil sister came running to me and asked is it a boy or a girl and i just started bawling :/ Im really really sad, my husband has just been quiet all afternoon ...he asked me if i was ok and i said yeah im fine , i dont know if he doesn't know what to say or do but i could really use a hug :( Im just so confused to whats happened and overwhelmed by it all anyone had a similar circumstance? Any advice or pep talk i could really use it :( i feel like a bad mom like i could've done something :/ with my other two boys whatever they need i do if they ache i help if they cry i hold them till they feel better and i did absolutely nothing for this baby, didn't get to help him or her at all ...
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:41 AM
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:56 AM

I am so sorry. The baby would of been the size of a small blob and not really resemble a baby yet. With that being said, you don't bleed that much when things are going right. Im sorry that no one would tell you anything they should of kept you overnight and giving you a transfusion for your blood loss. Call your doctor in the morning and get an appointment. Unfortunately thats how ER staff treats people. When you are miscarrying, nothing can be done to stop it.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:08 AM
Im def making my follow up Thank you, i know the baby was still very small but still i felt like not much attention was given to me because it was so early on...and those 5 hours were the longest and loneliest of my life. I just wanted someone to say yes this is what it is or no go home and rest... But i felt just as clueless as when i went in :( i was holding up really well putting up a front like I'm fine but its really getting to me the more time passes :(
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:35 AM
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I'm so sorry, but don't blame you or feel bad about anything. Follow up with your doctor and take care of yourself, they should have kept you. :(

by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:44 AM

I am so sorry for what you've been through. It is ashamed that the people in the hospital couldn't see you were obviously having a miscarriage.It is not your fault you seeked help from so called Doctors and nurses at the hospital. But somehow I think they may have some liabilty in this. Where's a lawyer when you need advice?

by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 5:12 AM
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The hospital did nothing wrong and neither did she!  Sometimes doctors don't have the answers! That is exactly the way mine happened. The hospital sent me home and 2 days later I had a miscarriage. But you did nothing wrong mamacita92!

by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 5:17 AM

huggingHugs mamacita,I am so sorry about your little one. It hurts I have lost little ones myself and know the heartache. Please when you are ready come and join the group,Miscarriage and Pregnancy's a good group of Mommas who will understand how you are feeling and are very supportive. 

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 5:26 AM
I am so sorry; that is never easy to go through. You need to look after yourself, physically and emotionally. Give yourself & your dh time to grieve, talk about your loss. ((Hugs))
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:16 AM
So sorry, I just went through this in October. I know how heart broken you must feel :( your story sounds similar to mine, if you need to talk message me. So sorry for your loss.
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by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:45 AM

Losing a pregnancy is always hard. But know that you did nothing wrong and that sometimes it just happens. I am sorry for your loss.  They say that time heals all wounds, I know, Cliche, but it is true. It's time to take care of you. Rest. I will send good thoughts an prayers in your direction.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:30 AM

I am sorry for your loss.

Emergency Rooms are there to simply deal with emergencies---stitches, heart attacks, broken bones, etc.  However they are not good at diagnosing miscarriages, long term management of health issues, etc.  They attempt to fix an emergency situation.  But nothing can "fix" or stop an early miscarriage---it's a wait and see game.

Since you were testing positive on a pregnancy test and were not in an emergent situation the ER had done everything it could. 

So go to your follow up with your OB, they will be able to answer your questions.  Hopefully family can be your support.

Hang in there.  It's a tough situation :o(

**Just call me Stuart**

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