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Am I wrong for getting mad?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:23 AM
  • 61 Replies

So i just had my son exactly three weeks ago and, naturally, everyone is really excited about it. Well tonight, my dad's girlfriend made a fish dinner and during dinner, she squeezed some lemon on her fish and then after dinner, we ate salami (with our hands). i washed my hands and then picked up my son. shortly after, my dad's girlfriend took him to hold him on the couch. when she was sitting with him on the couch, she started sticking her fingers in his mouth to see how he would react to how they tasted. when i saw her do that i said 'wait a minute, is that even sanitary' and she was like 'well it's not a big deal' and i said 'you have germs on your hands. can you not stick your fingers in his mouth' and she starts giving me snarky remarks back. saying how lemon is a natural antibiotic and its really not a big deal. it ended with me getting really frustrated and yelling her and saying 'he's not even a month old. i don't understand why youre arguing with me. he's my child' and then she starts arguing about how she's not arguing and i was like 'he's my kid, not yours' there was a short silence and then she said 'i'm gonna give you back to mom now because she's mad' and i took my son and left. i just felt like that was so rude and disrespectful to stick your unwashed fingers in someone elses child's mouth, especially when they were just born, and then argue with the parent after they ask you not to. am i wong? how would you have reacted?

**When i say i yelled at her, i don't mean like screaming. i just raised my voice more than a normal talking voice. so she could tell i was mad at that point. 

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DaniandTom
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:29 AM
1 mom liked this

No you're not wrong! That's disgusting! God only knows when she last washed her hands and besides, like you said that is YOUR baby, not hers! 

audreesmama
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:30 AM
3 moms liked this
It doesn't matter what she thinks or feels, he's your kid. There are so many colds and viruses going around right now that she does not need to be doing that crap, aside from the fact that it's just gross. Wtf was she thinking?! I would be livid, too.

I suggest you wait a couple of days and let thing calm down, then call her and try to speak rationally. Just say that this is your baby, and you have a right, just as every other mother does, to decide what you think is best for your child. You would appreciate if she'd respect that and support you.
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elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:41 AM
Ewww! I suppose you could have mentioned it in a nicer way, but one would think not putting your unwashed hands in a newborns mouth would be common sense!! I probably would have told her off too! Plus she's just dads gf, not fiancée and not wife.. And even if she was, ewwww! Stick your unwashed hands all up in her mouth and see how she feels!
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SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:59 AM

I wouldn't have gotten mad. I would have just told her not to put her fingers in his mouth. You maybe overreacted a little bit. There was no need for yelling.

GOBryan
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

You have a right to tell her not to do that BUT I think you over-reacted and I feel you could have done it more diplomatically. I also don't feel it was a reason to up and leave mad. Further if it were the taste of fish that would have been a bit different from lemon. 

I would not have reacted in that manner. Maybe I would have said "Please don't stick your fingers in his mouth." and when she responded with her comment, I would have said, "I understand but I would prefer you not do that because he's still only a month old and doesn't have a strong immune system yet." 

I do believe she should have respected your wishes but I believe you should apologize for your over-reaction. By the time you have a few more kids, it'll be no big deal. The first one is usually placed in a plastic bubble. I have 3 and by the time the 3rd was born, there were few big deal situations and that one was a preemie. Kids are more resiliant than you think. 

PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:28 AM

My daughter's peditrician told me to insist that anyone who wanted to hold my newborn had to wash their hands first.  

JustaSM231
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:35 AM
Ewwww! That's gross! I don't know if I would have yelled but I would have stood my ground calmly and politely.
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Christine0813
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:59 AM

 No, you aren't. That was gross and rude of her.

bellaaax3
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:03 AM

that's what i kept thinking of. when i was in the hospital, the nurses constantly asked me if everyone was washing their hands first, even me. it seems like ever since i came home, everyone has just been disregarding that and it's really frustrating.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

My daughter's peditrician told me to insist that anyone who wanted to hold my newborn had to wash their hands first.  



Lurion
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 9:04 AM

Is this your first child? 

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