Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

weird living situation

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:35 AM
  • 22 Replies
My ex and I recently broke up. This is my sons father so we were all liviing together in a 3 bedroom apartment. So to try to keep as much normality for our son as possible we have decided to remain living in the same apartment. We made a deal that if either of us started seeing anyone else that we wouldnt bring that other person home. I am willing to try this for our sons sake and for the simple fact the neither of us can afford to move out right now. I am curious to see what you all think is going to happen with our living arrangement.

Just wanted to update because there were some good points. I made it very clear to him that nothing was ever going to happen between us again. pretty much we discussed it and decided that we dont make each other happy and we should find someone who will. Also we think we work better as parent now that we arent together because we arent always fighting and miserable.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:35 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by AnnaLisa on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:46 AM

 i think thats great...however, its hard to think that this will last long..but its hard to say because we dont know you or him..good luck tho :)

by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:11 AM

Good luck.  I know many that can live with their ex and many that can not live with their ex.  How old is the child?

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:14 AM
our son is 2
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:29 AM

There are a lot of stories about people doing that now a days. You have to consider how mature and rational you both are and what happens if let's say he gets drunk one night and does bring someone over. I lived with my ex for 2 months after we broke up. No children it just took me that time to find a place and move. The ex and I didn't have the agreement that you two did about bringing people over. So needless to say he did lets say not fun. He was to immature to make that work even for that period of time. What I didn't know was that he was working on a relationship with another woman and wanted me around in case that didn't work. Things took off for me after I left and it was best for me to leave. Do what's best for you and right now that's also what's best for your son. Work on putting some money aside in case things go south fast. And I wish you the best.

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:31 AM
Good luck with that..
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:38 AM

Good luck. I know it wouldn't work for me, even if we had broken up on the best of terms.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:39 AM

At least you two are civil,respectful and mature enough to agree to those terms. It is especially honorable for the childs sake.

It really may work for a while but I would be ponder about long term. After all he's now a single. Although, you are now single too you are a mom of a two year old. Mom's tend to be tied down with kids more often while the men or dads aren't as bound. Will eventually,when he starts staying away from home more,maybe has found him a new girl. Will you have some sort of feelings about that?Things are so easier said than done. The same for him ,will you really have a chance at another relationship while you live in this situation?  another thing is does breaking up mean that you two actually won't be intimate. I say this because some men feel they can still "hit it" because you #1. are the childs mother( baby momma) and #2. the live in(you know Will he feel a sense of entitlement even thou you two have broken up with no actual seperation except bedrooms(I assume)? 

It can be a tense atmosphere when two people weren't able to work out their issues and move on & feel forced to be together or still live together because they have no choice.On top of the having no choice is the obligation is your now two year old son. What happens when resentment sinks in?(one day words slip from the tounge that pretty much sounds bitter) What happens if the arrangement gets to be too uncomfortable and you two bicker?

I am not being negative....oh, I do hope that you will find happiness and it will all work out. Just be prepared for the reality. Good Luck :) 

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 7:43 AM

 i think its wonderful.  I had the same thing with my ex.  we have since moved into diffrent homes and I am remarried, but the dh and the ex and I are all close friends and it has been great for my son and stepdaughter.

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:17 AM


by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:25 AM

My DH had a friend that lived in the basement apartment while his ex and childen lived upstairs.  They did it for years, and it worked well for them both and they each got to see the kids everyday.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)