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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Dishonesty with Homework

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:18 AM
  • 12 Replies

I found out yesterday (and more today) that my 11yo son has not been fully honest about his homework and studying.  He comes home in the afternoons and tells me that he finished all of his homework at school, so all he has to do is practice his violin.

He hasn't been fully prepared for classes with having necessary items completed, not completing assignments to educational expectations, and has been socializing too much.  It floors me because he got a great report card at the end of January.  His teachers have told me that this has been going on for the last 3 weeks.

His math teacher emailed me because my son got a 41% on a math test last week.  The teacher gives them 2 days to bring the test home and have it signed by a parent so that they can retake the test for a better grade.  My son didn't bring home the test and didn't get to take the retake as a result.  According to his math teacher, my son hasn't been focusing and being responsible.  So I emailed his other teachers to see how he was doing in their classes.  I heard pretty much the same from all of his teachers.  When I tried to talk to my son about it, he got mad and then started crying, saying that his teachers hate him.

Help!?  What would you do? 

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:29 AM

I would give him a consequence for any further lying and incompletion of work.  I dont know if the teachers would be wiling to work with you and have a homework journal that your son fills out and they sign off saying that is indeed the assignment or there is no homework for that day.

elkmomma
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:42 AM

OH THANK GOD IT"S NOT JUST MINE!!!  I have a wrap around meeting this afternoon with DS (12) and ALL his teachers.  DS is not looking forward to it either,since now I'll get to the truth of the matter and he can't make up excuses or lie about it.  The probability is that something is going on at school and triggering the behavior.   I plan on asking for daily e-mails of assignments and behavior reports for each class; this way I will know what has or hasn't been done or turned in.  Good luck with yours.

PISCIS29
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:48 AM
I punished telling him lying will not be tolerated. So he has lost 90% of his privileges and I check all his binders and complete back pack check up. He hates it but until I can trust him to tell me the truth I will stop.
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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Any kid that comes home all the time havingt no homework is lying. Kids all claim a teacher hates them. All teachers, no way, unless he is acting up and wreaking havoc in class.
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savingtheworld
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Lol isn't that the truth!!


Quoting elkmomma:

OH THANK GOD IT"S NOT JUST MINE!!!  I have a wrap around meeting this afternoon with DS (12) and ALL his teachers.  DS is not looking forward to it either,since now I'll get to the truth of the matter and he can't make up excuses or lie about it.  The probability is that something is going on at school and triggering the behavior.   I plan on asking for daily e-mails of assignments and behavior reports for each class; this way I will know what has or hasn't been done or turned in.  Good luck with yours.


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Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:50 PM

My son went through this in second grade. I found tons of papers he was supposed to bring home and do stuffed in his desk while looking for an over due library book.

So that summer, all summer he did work for me.

The rest of the year he had to get his teacher to sign a piece of paper I sent with him saying he had done and turned in all of his work for the day. If the teacher didn't sign it for any reason, (I forgot to take it to her!, The dog ate it!, Whatever!) he had no privileges until the next day it was signed.

This turned out to have a side benefit when his teacher called me to tell me his grades were going to be bad. The teacher realised the signing off on the sheet meant he had done his work and his grades couldn't be that low. I didn't even think of it to argue btw, the teacher did to cover butt.

I did read Homework Without Tears. I do think way too much homework is assigned.

Pinstripes819
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:30 PM

This sounds exactly like what my then 9yo dd did last year with regards to homework.  Explain to your son how important school is and the assignments are given for a reason.  With my daughter, I told her that tv and computer time would go away indefinitely if she didn't shore up and start doing her homework.  This worked and I have had no problem since.  Is your son capable of the work or is he having trouble?  My daughter was just bored and lazy and too focused on socializing and doing what she wanted to do.  Explain that his teachers don't hate them, that they are just concerned.  Good luck to you and your son.

KimmyShaw
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:33 PM

Hmmm, if he has been good up until 3 weeks ago, I'd be worried maybe something is going on with him.

babynurse454
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:36 PM
My d.d. is in the 5th grade the first thing I look at is her planner because the parent has to sign it,, she has to write all homework and what she has to study for,, I go over everything I know kids at that age have homework and something to study for,, if the planner isn't signed and homework not done ,,no recess and the parent will get a call and email after 2 times, start looking and going over everything at night, don't let him just tell you he finished it.
LucyHarper
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I would ground him with no privaledges for a week concerning the test, so he can take that time to get caught back up on work and learn not to lie to me, he would lose privaledges until he gets his grades back up so there can be more focus on school, from then on I would be looking over all of his homework since I can no longer trust that its done, and I would have the teacher tell me when tests are so I can make sure that he studies and brings them home after. He would also be going to any extra help available. I would talk to him about how important it is to respect his teachers so he needs to stop socializing during class time and get his work done. He would know that I am not happy with him. I would also talk to him about why he has had this sudden change in attitude about school, what caused that, and work to correct that.

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