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Should I move on?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:35 PM
  • 4 Replies
Hey Everyone,

I really really need advice. Been dating this guy now for a month. We have been friends for a year though. Well, last night he told me when he was 9 years old (now 30), that he was put through group homes because he adoptive brother (who was 6 at that time) accused him of molesting him. Also, the guy i am dating was molested at age 2, is what his adoptive family told him..the adoptive family gave him up and he was put through group homes and counseling and had a therapist. He says he doesn't remember ever doing anything. Well a year ago the brother admitted to the adoptive family that it was a lie! Since then, the guy I'm dating has disowned his entire family. Right now he was granted full custody of his son, because they mom walked out the picture. I am wondering if I should walk away or believe that it was all a big lie. I would think if It was true he would not have been granted custody of his kid. I am just worried because I have 3 kids myself from a previous relationship, and I don't want to put them in any danger.
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:35 PM
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Replies (1-4):
grownsexy
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:54 PM

It goes to show you how a lie could ruin someones life. If he has been cleared and you don't believe him move on. The last thing he needs in his life is more pain. He does not need a woman in his life that does not believe in him. Take your kids and do him a favor and move on.

He needs help he comes from a high level of dysfunction. If you had to ask the question then you are not ready for the demons he has to face. Trust me this man will be facing some demons. How a child is raised affects them way past adult hood. If you are not ready to ride or die with this man do him a favor and leave him alone. Good luck to you.

tyfry7496
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 4:24 PM
I agree!!

Quoting grownsexy:

It goes to show you how a lie could ruin someones life. If he has been cleared and you don't believe him move on. The last thing he needs in his life is more pain. He does not need a woman in his life that does not believe in him. Take your kids and do him a favor and move on.


He needs help he comes from a high level of dysfunction. If you had to ask the question then you are not ready for the demons he has to face. Trust me this man will be facing some demons. How a child is raised affects them way past adult hood. If you are not ready to ride or die with this man do him a favor and leave him alone. Good luck to you.

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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 4:38 PM

I would proceed very slowly, this guy has been through a lot and is probably very damaged from it. You don't have to break up but you have to exercise caution. You may want to even get a thorough background check, (without telling him of course).

SKJ3Kiddos
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Lindalou907:

I would proceed very slowly, this guy has been through a lot and is probably very damaged from it. You don't have to break up but you have to exercise caution. You may want to even get a thorough background check, (without telling him of course).



Thanks Everyone,

Lindalou907, you actually just expressed to me what I expressed to him in my own way. I have conducted a background check on him long time ago, but I told him I am still going to date him but slow things down. I also expressed to him that I will be digging deeper into his past than I already have. He knew I done a background because I told him after I done it. His background cleared. Which makes me believe he is innocent. Especially since the judge awarded him full custody of his son. In Indiana it is hard for a father to get full custody unless the mom is just beyond unfit. His exwife also has 2 other kids that she has custody of (by a different guy), but apparently she is considered unfit for their son together. She is fighting him now to get half custody, but the judge hasnt awarded it to her yet. I feel he is extremely hurt by his past, but as long as I have known him he has been a great guy and father to his son. I have not ntroduce my kids to him yet, but only because I dont involve my kids in my dating life. I will only bring my kids into a situation if I plan on being in a serious relationship with a guy. He is also divorced, he was married 4 years and he was the one that filed. So I am assuming he could not be a big threat. I just wanted opinions to see if I am wrong for feeling some doubt. I really like him a lot, but my kids come before anyone or anything!
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