Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Fighting With My 10 yr old About Chores

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:56 PM
  • 16 Replies
So I posted yesterday about getting my kids to do chores. Well today I decided to impliment the chore list. I have my oldest cleaning the upstairs bathroom (I.e. wiping down the counter, tub and mirror, scrubbing the toilet and sweeping and mopping). He's refusing to even wipe the counters! I don't expect perfection. Just an effort. I was going through what I wanted step by step and my oldest said "This is too hard. I'm not doing it." What should I do?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Hmm. If it were mine I think I'd shut off electricity to his room. If he isn't willing to help family, he doesn't need family perks.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
panther79
by Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:59 PM

 Tell him fine dont do it but he will lose priveleges like tv,video games, computer etc...

mama-sita
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:15 PM
I learned a long time ago that taking privileges does nothing with him. He'd rather be lazy with nothing to do than what he doesn't want to do, be it homework or chores.


Quoting panther79:

 Tell him fine dont do it but he will lose priveleges like tv,video games, computer etc...


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LucyHarper
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:17 PM

In my house, you don't do your chores, you don't do anything. They can go stand in the corner or sit on their beds and stare at the wall until they are ready to behave and do their chores.

panther79
by Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:19 PM

 hmm tough one. um have you tried giving him an incentive? like a reward chart?

Quoting mama-sita:

I learned a long time ago that taking privileges does nothing with him. He'd rather be lazy with nothing to do than what he doesn't want to do, be it homework or chores.


Quoting panther79:

 Tell him fine dont do it but he will lose priveleges like tv,video games, computer etc...


 

mama-sita
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:22 PM
We give them time on the Xbox which can be converted to money if they decide they want to do that.


Quoting panther79:

 hmm tough one. um have you tried giving him an incentive? like a reward chart?


Quoting mama-sita:

I learned a long time ago that taking privileges does nothing with him. He'd rather be lazy with nothing to do than what he doesn't want to do, be it homework or chores.



Quoting panther79:


 Tell him fine dont do it but he will lose priveleges like tv,video games, computer etc...



 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mama-sita
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:26 PM
I've got him sitting in the bathroom. He's saying things like he hates me, hates himself, is scratching himself (not seriously, just trying to manipulate me). I've got my pregnant butt sat in the hsllway to make sure he doesn't leave.


Quoting LucyHarper:

In my house, you don't do your chores, you don't do anything. They can go stand in the corner or sit on their beds and stare at the wall until they are ready to behave and do their chores.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LucyHarper
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:32 PM

In my house, telling anyone that you hate them gets you a weeks grounded and you write an essay on what it means to hate someone and how wrong it is to feel that way about your family who loves you. Wait him out and once hes done, give him a talk about how wrong he is for saying things like that.

Quoting mama-sita:

I've got him sitting in the bathroom. He's saying things like he hates me, hates himself, is scratching himself (not seriously, just trying to manipulate me). I've got my pregnant butt sat in the hsllway to make sure he doesn't leave.


Quoting LucyHarper:

In my house, you don't do your chores, you don't do anything. They can go stand in the corner or sit on their beds and stare at the wall until they are ready to behave and do their chores.




mama-sita
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:41 PM

My bf got tired of it, cleaned out all the toys, the dvd player and the dvds out of their room and we've got him in there.  We just heard him throwing stuff around so I'm really not sure how far I'm going to push things.  I don't like spankings but I don't know.  This situation gets out of hand regularly.  Any time I get him to do something he doesn't want to do, he pulls this type of crap.  I really don't know what to do about it.


Quoting LucyHarper:

In my house, telling anyone that you hate them gets you a weeks grounded and you write an essay on what it means to hate someone and how wrong it is to feel that way about your family who loves you. Wait him out and once hes done, give him a talk about how wrong he is for saying things like that.

Quoting mama-sita:

I've got him sitting in the bathroom. He's saying things like he hates me, hates himself, is scratching himself (not seriously, just trying to manipulate me). I've got my pregnant butt sat in the hsllway to make sure he doesn't leave.


Quoting LucyHarper:

In my house, you don't do your chores, you don't do anything. They can go stand in the corner or sit on their beds and stare at the wall until they are ready to behave and do their chores.






AM-BRAT
by Amber on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:59 PM

Tough! I remember your post. :( Um, Idk! We tried to implement chores before but it failed miserably as they are 4&6 and trying to keep up on my own schedule and what they're doing just didn't work for me. We now have it as an "attitude chart" where there are tangible rewards for things like using manners especially well or following directions without arguing.

Which leads me to how we do 'chores' which essentially is me asking them to do something and they do it.

We don't use a dishwasher so dh or I handwash everything. I'm not expecting my kids to do that yet.

Bathrooms I might ask them to wipe them down (with vinegar) but I do it as a drive by most times and they stay very clean that way.

Floors I do seriously once a week and touchups throughout. They can clear the table after meals of keep their bedroom floors visable but I just don't ask *much* when it comes to "chores." I say, please take out the trash or clean your work table, something like that. Then they do it. 

They might use the dust buster to clean up after the guinea pigs or feed them. Or help bring in wood.

We don't do chores in the traditional way, but we do talk a lot about how important it is for everyone to help with the house.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)