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Feeling Lonely and Depressed..

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:02 PM
  • 8 Replies
1 mom liked this

Hi, I am a twenty two year old stay at home mom. I have a two year old son and my partner works full time. When I met him and before I had my son, I moved about 30-40 minutes away from my friends and my family to live with him because he works out here. I have been a stay at home mom for two years now and with nobody around me when my partner works so much, I feel very alone.
I have days when I am angry or just feel like crying. I used to manage by taking my son out and doing things outdoors. Its Winter now and its so much harder to do that. I still take him out but I don't stay out as long like in the Summer because he gets cold easily. I also used to be able to drive to the mall or something but my car is broke and we don't have money to fix it right now.
To make things worse, I have a lot of family drama going on which is really hard on me. Growing up I had a father who drank, smashed things and hurt my mother. It really took a tole on me and as I grew up it never went away. I have so much hurt and anger inside of me that I think it has a lot to do with why I feel the way I do also. When I get angry I feel like hitting things and I can't help it.. I never do around my son EVER but I feel that way and will if its just me and my partner home and he upsets me. I do NOT want to be this way, it reminds me of my dad and I am ashamed. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so miserable and broken. The only thing that puts a smile on my face is my son.. Even my partner makes me feel bad some days... I find we always fight now and he never listens or understands me.. I love him but sometimes I feel like I would be better off alone. I joined this site to maybe see if anyone would be going through the same or had advice for me..

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:02 PM
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Replies (1-8):
GOBryan
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:24 PM

Can you join a gym.. Do a little exercise to exert energy. At your age, I definitely suggest that you try to educate yourself. A woman should ALWAYS be independent. Take courses, either on-line or go to college. If you haven't graduated, do it! Otherwise, without preparation, you'll be more miserable and in a rut, always having to rely on someone else. 

The biggest mistake I feel I see on this site are women who have failed to get an education and simply care for their family. Caring for family isn't wrong but it should not be what makes or breaks the person. A person is made up of many things and that's simply just a portion. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years with no financial issues but when the financial problems due to the economy affected my family, I was unprepared and felt that I has become to accustomed to being dependent on my husband. I had an insurance background but that just didn't seem to cut it anymore and had to find a way to break the rut I had put myself in. Now I'm a Realtor and mom and a wife. I feel much more balanced. 

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Try to meet other moms and set up playdates. Use Skype to video chat with your friends and family, it'll be better then just talking on the phone. Have them visit you.
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mama-sita
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:31 PM

Have you been checked by a doctor for depression?  I was diagnosed bipolar about two years ago, I was 28.  I would often feel out of control and tried so hard to figure things out for myself but sometimes, you have to get help.  I'm not medicated now because I'm pregnant and I can definitely tell the difference.

CourtneyReneexo
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:48 PM

Thank you for your reply. I have not joined a gym because I just don't have the money, a car or somone to watch my son right now. I am going to try and get out for walks this Summer though :) .. I do want a career for myself. I just recently obtained my grade twelve online and now I am looking into going back to school or take an online program to get a career. I have always wanted something I loved I just never knew what I truely was good at or what I wanted to do. I always struggled in school because I had my family troubles going on then so I never finished high school or figured out a plan for myself.

CourtneyReneexo
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:49 PM

My friends are not really good friends because they never visit me or anything so it leaves me with nobody basically.. I gave up on trying to get them to bother with me. They do not have children and soon as I moved and had my son its like I dont matter anymore.

CourtneyReneexo
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:51 PM

I kept thinking I may have something.. like depression. I seen a doctor and he suggested to talk to someone first...I just never took the step to see anybody yet. When I tried to go talk to someone.. its like I get scared and decide not to bother because I don't like talking about my past even though I should. I think I may try this time and stick with it.

lovinmama411
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:06 PM

I felt the same way. By the time I was 23, I had a 1 year old and 3 year old and was in the same position as you. I lived away from family (4 hours away from anyone I knew), my husband was always working, sometimes he was gone weeks at a time, and I was so lonely and sad.

Sometimes I would get in a good routine and things would seem okay, but then something (like cold weather) would come along and everything would just get shitty. When I was 24 I started back to school (online). I was still home with the kids all the time but at least I had my own thing. Then as soon as my youngest started kindergarten (this past year) I transferred to a local university and have been going there a year.

I graduate with my bachelors next year. Just being productive outside of my family helped me be a happier person. I love my kids and husband more than anything else in the world, but you have to be yourself too. If you guys are having money issues, look into a part time job. Maybe you and your SO could work different shifts and share a vehicle until you got paid and could fix yours.

Just getting out, whether it be school or work, will help alot. I know sometimes that seems impossible, but do whatever you have to do to try and make it work. I HATE being depressed :(  Hope you feel better soon.

CourtneyReneexo
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:24 AM

Thank you for your reply. Yes I think not getting out is a big problem and what makes me feel worse. I feel better reading everyones posts.  I just felt lost and broken. I think I may try an online program from our local college.

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